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[annieb]

I have been using Facebook for  a number of years now and have generally found it a good place for catching up with friends and family – especially those who are far away. I keep my personal details to a minimum and only have “invited” friends and generally avoid getting into any sort of controversial discussion.
However one of my “friends” has recently been “liking” comments and photos on a very anti-religious website (anti ALL religion) and these of course then appear in my Facebook pages.  I usually just ignore this kind of thing as I don't think Facebook is the best place for any sort of heavy discussion. However, one comment I found particularly offensive so foolishly posted my own comment in that discussion. My comment was maybe a little naive in hindsight – saying that I believed in the general goodness of people and that we should have respect for others and that yes there are evil people in the world who will use any excuse to justify their evil but I'd like to think that these are the minority.
Well – I got such a torrent of abuse , calling me all sorts of things that I won't repeat here and I have found this very upsetting .  I'm not sure what I expected – maybe a reasoned discussion ?  but certainly not the comments that were made
I don't want this to be a discussion about religion as though the Facebook discussion was about that it was the reaction I received that concerned me.  I wondered if anyone else had experienced this kind of abuse as I am still a bit upset about this  and though I fully accept that folks can disagree with me I didn't expect the abuse from complete strangers  (& does anyone know how to stop these “likes” appearing?)

[CLKD]

Of course you are upset.  We all prefer reasonable discussion but there are those out there, hiding behind social media sites, who are lurking in order to respond.

I would ban FaceBook, Beebo etc..  Completely.  If people can't pick up the phone or write a letter 

Surely you can block 'likes'?

[Rowan]

annieb, all you have to do is block her on your news feed, then you won't get any of her "likes" on your home page, you can even unfriend her and be done with it.

Keep your facebook for friends and family that you know and trust, so it can be an enjoyable experience. I am careful what I "like" as am mindful that they will appear on my "friends" homepage and news feed.

[fiorinda]

Yes, if you go to your friend's page and click on where it says 'friends' at the top right, you will see that it says 'show in news feed' and this will have a tick next to it. Click it to remove the tick and you won't see her stuff on your page any more. Simples. And just don't enter into discussion on FB about things like that, it's not worth it - remember, EVERYONE in the world, just about, is on FB and so the chances of running up against some people who are rude is extremely high!! The things your friend shared and liked probably come from someone she doesn't know originally so people from all over the world will see them and comment on them - it's just not worth it. And try not to get upset by it, that's not worth it either. I never bother to comment on those sort of things, even if I feel REALLY strongly about it, as my comment could be one of several thousand, who's going to care what I think, really? x

[KatieLiz]

Just to let you know if you type into Google, your user name on here, and menopause, you can read some of your own posts!  I think this is the scary part of the internet - what you say somewhere can be reproduced in other places.

I once made a nice comment on the facebook page of one of the contestants in a televised competition and the barrage of awful comments made back to me - including personal ones - I was absolutely amazed!  I did wonder why, if they didn't like this person, they would bother being on their site but I think the word 'troll' comes to mind!

[honeybun]

I don't do Facebook so I can't comment.

Just wanted to say it's horrible when this kind of thing happens. Although it's "virtual " and you will probably never meet this person it can be terribly upsetting.

Follow the advice of the others and you should be ok.


As my old dad used to say. Don't discuss politics or religion.

Honeyb
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[Taz2]

Just block her news feeds annie. I have a few friends I have done that with.

KatieLiz - that's why it is important to use different user names on different forums so that a full profile of you and your interests can't be worked out easily. Thanks for the reminder.

Taz x

[annieb]

Thanks to you all - and useful advice about how to block these things . I'm not so good with some of the more technical sides of things!
I think it's just that these people are there in your face - sounds daft doesn't it when they're probably thousands of miles away
I do feel a lot better now with your encouraging words and honeyb's Dad is SOOO right. I would never normally get into any sort of discussion about politics or religion with complete strangers . More fool me for getting drawn in. Will not make the same mistake again.
I will continue to believe that most folks are basically good  .  I only "chat" on this  site (MM) and Facebook and have only ever found help and kindness on MM over the past few years and ladies going out of their way to offer advice and support  so maybe some of the facebook people should take a leaf from here .  The sun is shining here at the moment so am going to get my book and a large cup of coffee and sit in my garden and forget any unpleasantness 

[Taz2]

annie - have you checked your FB page after you have logged out to see how your public profile looks? You may not have set all your privacy settings as high as they can be.

Taz x

[honeybun]

For me, if I did not believe that basically most people are good then the world would be a very sad place.

My OH tells me not to be so trusting but it's the way I am.

I think some people are made braver by the anonymity of the internet and say things they would not contemplate saying in real life.

Unfortunately that can bring out the worse in some.

Put it behind you and just forget it.

Honeyb
X

[Joyce]

Blocking newsfeed works. I've done it with some.

[fiorinda]

Me too - especially people who go into detail about their dogs' digestive systems!! But also with people who I mostly like but who have very different political views to me. Otherwise I just get cross!

[Hurdity]

What a horrible thing to happen.

I'm not clear whether the abuse came from your "friend" - is that why you put their name in inverted commas?

If so - then definitely unfriend this person - they cannot be a friend if they do that.

If it came from other people on the page, and it only came to your notice because your friend liked and commented on the page or website, then yes as others have said - just block this friend's newsfeed. If it is a close friend then you can always keep in touch by pm or go to their page to see what's been posted or what they're up to. I block newsfeeds of people (including some relatives!) who comment on their every thought and move, or spend their time playing pointless FB games - and which therefore dominate the newsfeed when I take a quick look - usually once a day.

I also reserve comment only for links, comments or photos that my friends have posted directly and nothing second hand. But I rarely comment anyway!

I only ever accept friend requests from people I know and have met, and whom I don't mind seeing some of my photos or what I say. I do FB very little myself - mainly to keep up with offpsring (but they donlt seem to do it much now) and some close friends.

Hurdity x

[Morwenna]

Good post Jan 

[lesley998]

It's a strange thing, Facebook.   It's just so indicative of the world we live in today, absolutely ruled by the internet...where everyone knows your business, and even what you had for lunch, should you choose to share it.  I have friends who, it seems, can't even pass wind without immediately letting everyone know!  I find it useful for keeping an eye on my son (if he is signed in, it means he is probably alive and well)  but I have to admit I have recently been concerned about the amount of personal information that I have online.  It was fine about five years ago when it started up, hardly anyone was on it, and it was great getting back in touch with old friends...but actually, I realise I don't really want 'Creepy Keith' from school knowing where I live now, where I work and looking at photos of my kids.   I've recently set all my privacy settings to the absolute maximum, made a list of close family and friends and limited photo viewing to just them.   There is also a way to de activate your FB account and activate it again at your leisure - say you are away on holiday.   

Try not to take things to heart AnnieB...its easier said than done I know.  My problem is, I don't get upset or hurt, I get flippin MAD with people when they post nasty stuff and end up posting some rather rude things myself (then going back and deleting them lol) but it can be hard not to react.  There are even some people out there called 'Truthers' who don't believe things like 9/11 and the Boston Bombings actually happened.   Amazingly enough, they think these things are all 'staged' by the government...they must be nuts.  There was an article on FB about a woman who was pictured dazed, in the aftermath of the Boston Bombings, and she later lost a foot.  The amount of people who had commented that they wanted to see her prosecuted for being an 'actress' and 'taking part in the set  up' - honestly, it beggared belief. 

I try to remember there ARE a lot of nice people out there but also a lot of complete nutters....

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