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[grumpy2008]

Just when I was starting to feel a bit better again (no periods for a couple of months and for the first time in ages I'd felt... almost normal for a week or two) along comes my anxiety. Well stupidly I examined myself for lumps - something I normally do midcycle - which was pretty much asking for trouble given my emotional state at the time.

I have a longstanding lump that has been checked a few times over the years. I keep an eye on it. It appears to be a little larger than normal now... still moves around and is a little bit tender... but my anxiety level is now through the roof  . I saw the doctor this morning who has referred me to the breast clinic for tests so am now waiting for the appointment.

I was hoping the doctor would also address my anxiety levels since this is something that is steadily getting worse and I've had a horrible time with it over the past 6 months or so. But she wants to address the lump first and then treat the anxiety (presumably she thinks the anxiety might go away if everything's ok? Somehow I doubt that - I think it's hormonal.).

Sigh. I just need to share this - nothing to do but wait for the appointment now. It's like a roller coaster ride at the moment... 

[honeybun]

Have a hug, you sound very down.

Well done for being brave enough to deal with it so quickly. Anxiety is such a horrible thing and magnifies everything.

If you have had this lump for a while it's really unlikely to be anything more serious than a cyst.
Best to get it checked though.

Have you thought about asking your GP for beta blockers for your anxiety. I take them and although not perfect they help a bit.

Honeyb
X

[Rowan]

Grumpy if your lump moves around and a little tender there is nothing to worry about.

Dr Oz explains it.

http://www.sharecare.com/question/do-non-cancerous-lumps-feel-different

[grumpy2008]

Thank you both 

I did say to the doctor that I didn't know if the lump came first or the anxiety... you know, how when you get very anxious you almost go looking for things to obsess about. That's how it works with me.

The lump is definitely there though and needs to be looked at again. I've asked for them to do an ultrasound if possible, rather than a mammogram. I'm very small chested and last time this happened they had to peel me off the ceiling after the mammo... (sorry, don't want to put anyone off... I know these things are different for everyone).

I'll just have to see how it goes.

[grumpy2008]

Rowan - thanks for the link. I wouldn't say my lump feels rubbery but when the doctor push on it I did feel sore.

Obviously I'm hoping for the best. Fingers crossed.

[CLKD]

I expect you will have a sore area if you keep checking to see if the lump remains  and yep, sometimes mammos hurt - I've had the 'scraped off the ceiling' scenario too   

You should be seen in 2 weeks if not ring for an appt..

[Firewalker50]

Grumpy

Have a HUG.  Of course you will be anxious.  Any person would be anxious finding a lump.   It is perfectly understantable, even though the majority are harmless.

I know the 'scraped off the ceiling' feeling.  I have very large breasts (not the joy some people think it is!!) and they have to squash them so hard to get enough of an image.     I don't  think it matters what we have, they should come up with something far more sensible.

Have you considered doing yoga or an exercise to help with the anxiety?  It might not be the answer but it may help.   I found yoga great to teach me to quieten my mind.  First time I tried it though, I could not relax enough.  I did not give it a chance to 'learn it'.  Then when I started again, I thought it was wonderful.   

Are there other support remedies you could try from the chemist - just temporarily?  Kalms, or similar?
Or look up Valerian Root, Winter Cherry, St. John's Wort, PassionFlower, Arctic Root, 5-HTP and see if you think those might help for a short time?   Always check to see if they have any restrictions to the medication you might be taking.

I know I am not you, however, I (and I am sure many other on here) have had lumps and cysts, and further investigations - all clear.   Let's focus on a positive outcome for yours.

Fx

Fx

 

[grumpy2008]

CLKD, my doctor said the appt shouldn't take longer that a couple of weeks. I'm lucky in that the clinic is at the local hospital, so I don't have to go very far.

Firewalker, thanks for your hug I really need hugs right now. I keep telling my self to treat this like a normal check up (which I've had a few of) but the anxiety is greater this time. Yoga is a great idea. Actually, I used to meditate and might go back to it. I want to go back to it, but the anxiety feeds itself and the loop is difficult to break, isn't it? I will try though. I occasionally take something called 'Quiet Life' which is a herbal remedy and contain motherwort and valerian, I think? They do take the edge off the anxiety for me, thank goodness. As for focusing on the positive, I actually mentioned this to my hubby last night, about how hard it is these days for me to feel truly positive, about anything... I miss the days when my worries were less and my hormones were (relatively) balanced! 

[CLKD]

I find that deep breathing can help.  If I remember to do it 

Hopefully your appt will be through sooner rather than later 

[grumpy2008]

I had my appointment this morning. It's not good news  . I have to wait a week for the results of the core biopsy but it looks like I'll be undergoing surgery in the next 2 or 3 weeks to remove the lump.

At the moment I feel angry/upset/numb plus a lot of other emotions. My stomach is in knots. I really wish I had better news but appreciate all your kind words of support and (because it's probably easier) you're the first people I've told. Thanks for being there 

[Rowan]

Grumpy I underwent a similar op to you and mine turned out to be a Fibroadenoma, I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you and send you hugs.x

[grumpy2008]

How recently was that, rowan, if you don't mind me asking? I guess there's still some hope, but the consultants seemed to think that in my case it is likely to be cancer.

I'm not sure how I'm going to cope this week, or the next 2/3 weeks come to think of it...

[Katy]

Hi grumpy just wanted to give you a  the waiting must be awful for you.

Katy x

[Taz2]

Hi Grumpy - we are all here for you. Hopefully even if it is cancer it will be in the very early stages and you will soon be able to put all of this worry behind you.

Taz x 

[Hurdity]

Sorry to hear about this grumpy - what a worry for you. It is the waiting that's the worst.

Just to say I also had a long-standing lump which moved around and was painful. It used to become very painful sometimes and the size used to change I assume with my cycle. It got much more painful leading up to the menopause. I had it checked (by ultra-sound scan only) on separate occasions and when they found it hadn't grown they also said it was a fibro-adenoma. I never had it removed and now it has disappeared of its own accord.

This doesn't help you in your situation but it is good they are taking it seriously as they should.

Really to say too - I am hoping it will not be bad news and will be thinking of you.

Hurdity x