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[Suzi Q]

the only thing in a LETTER is once you put to pen anything can be misconstrued
Im not saying its not a good idea but one Id think carefully about x

They cant understand the idea of knowone there for them no more than my cousins can
I was at a wedding yesterday and saw all the people with their families they dont know how lucky they are
I had me my hubbie and son then dinlaw but as much as I try its like Im just a friend
So its hard to explain they will have to makwe their own minds up and come to some understanding
Dont let them rowing cause you any more pain its between them you cant make them like each other
The old saying you cant choose your family but you can your friends I think sometimes is so true
Big hugs OK xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[CLKD]

At least without too many family members tha can't fall out  and we are both parts of a large family but don't see that much of any of them as we have got older (and wiser  )

[Spadger]

Suzi Q & CLKD - families are a nightmare at times aren't they - I often think of the times when the kids were little, it was such a struggle financially, emotionally and physically, but now I'd go back in a heartbeat.  It's true that you can't choose your family, and I wouldn't want to swap mine, but sometimes I feel like running away (I'll live on an island somewhere - hopefully with Johnny Depp). 
Looking fondly at other people with their families may be a bit 'grass is greener', I'm sure they all have their problems from time to time. 
Meanwhile I'm still in the same predicament, but now resigned to staying out of it and getting on with things and trying not to cry so much!
Love Spadger xxx

[Pennyfarthing]

Suzi Q & CLKD - families are a nightmare at times aren't they - I often think of the times when the kids were little, it was such a struggle financially, emotionally and physically, but now I'd go back in a heartbeat.  It's true that you can't choose your family, and I wouldn't want to swap mine, but sometimes I feel like running away (I'll live on an island somewhere - hopefully with Johnny Depp). 
Looking fondly at other people with their families may be a bit 'grass is greener', I'm sure they all have their problems from time to time. 
Meanwhile I'm still in the same predicament, but now resigned to staying out of it and getting on with things and trying not to cry so much!
Love Spadger xxx

Spadger - sorry your probs with daughters are still on-going. I really am.  I have probs with my brothers and that's bad enough.  See my other thread for details!   I fluctuate in how I feel - some days I feel strong and think I've done all I can to make up with them (for my elderly Mum's sake) other days I keep remembering that my brother said "I have nothing to say to you."  I am off to bed now and I know those words will be going through my brain until I go to sleep.   I'm guessing you also have sleepless nights and it's so draining isn't it?  Have a hug.   :hug:xx

[Firewalker50]

Hi Spadger.  I am sorry to hear that the argument between your daughters is still continuing. It must be heartbreaking for you at a time when you should be excited about the events. 

I do hope the girls come round and also realise the distress they are causing. Good for you to withdraw and let them sort it out.

Thinking of you.

And you pennyFarthing. I think I replied to you on the other thread Fx

[Spadger]

Thank you for the hug Pennyfarthing - it was obviously heartfelt and really made me feel better - and I am so sorry that you too have family problems, so I am sending you a hug back.   
Thank you also Firewalker50 for your support, I feel glad that I found this forum as it makes me realise that I am not alone whatever problem I happen to have, menopause related or otherwise - and there's always something!
love Spadger xxx

[Spadger]

Pennyfarthing I took your advice and wrote identical letters, still early days but both now speaking to me and I feel hopeful that they will make up soon. Thank you so much, Spadger x

[Pennyfarthing]

Pennyfarthing I took your advice and wrote identical letters, still early days but both now speaking to me and I feel hopeful that they will make up soon. Thank you so much, Spadger x

Oh wow Spadger - I am SO pleased for you all.  Any communication is better than none.  Now I need to sort my own family probs out!!

[CLKD]

that's progress 

[Spadger]

I hope you manage to sort out your problems too Pennyfarthing - sometimes it's a lot easier to look objectively at someone else's issues than your own!

[Firewalker50]

Great news Spadger - little steps.
Great idea Pennyfarthing.  I hope you find a solution to your own problems too.

Fx

[Pennyfarthing]

Great news Spadger - little steps.
Great idea Pennyfarthing.  I hope you find a solution to your own problems too.

Fx

Sadly, I don't think I will find a solution.  You can't communicate with somebody who will not speak to you can you?  A few years ago I organised a surprise party for Mum and Dad's Diamond Wedding and spent ages composing letters to both brothers.  I wanted the whole family to attend and had invited family from abroad too.

I was pleased with the letter and said that I was planning this surprise party and it was taking place in 6 months time (so they had plenty of notice).  I said that they could invite who they liked, just to let me know for catering reasons.  I also said any practical help on the day would be great.  One brother did contact me and was helpful on the day.  The brother (who is currently not speaking to me) and his wife never even replied. 

On the day everybody (about 100 people) was there except this brother & wife and son and we all shared the surprise which was fab.  They came in about 20 minutes late having missed all that and sat there looking like a pair of snobs.  Later on I thanked them for coming and said it was such a shame they missed the surprise (Mum and Dad just thought they were going for a drive out) and my brother said "we had friends over, you know how it is."   I couldn't help myself, I politely said  "No, actually I don't.  Nothing or nobody would be more important that M & D's Diamond Wedding and you have known about this for 6 months."

Poor old Dad was so pleased that they'd turned up and obviously thought this was to be a fresh start but it wasn't.  He did comment that they turned up late - well everyone noticed them coming in late actually and a few other people commented.  I think they did that because they knew it would upset M & D if they didn't show and it would emerge that they had been invited but refused.  So they made a big thing of being late and sitting there looking bored stiff whilst everybody else was having a great time.

[CLKD]

Probably because the emphasis wasn't on them!  My sister is the same .......... has to make The Entrance and has to tell all and sundry why/where/who she's been with that has made her late ............  trouble is, that type of scenario plays on my mind for years afterwards and of course, she would deny it all.  When we got engaged she had to take the single rose from my bouquet and pose with it, nothing was said but I've never forgiven her.   

[flushtered]

Families    We all have them and have stories to tell............but I don't think we should let these things prey on our minds, nowt as queer as folk eh!

[Pennyfarthing]

Families    We all have them and have stories to tell............but I don't think we should let these things prey on our minds, nowt as queer as folk eh!

No, I'm with you on that flushtered but it's not always that cut and dried.

I am starting to worry about what will happen if my elderly Mum takes ill or needs extra help or even worse.  They don't speak to me now so if something happens who is going to tell me?  I worry so much about this.  I can go days and think positively and just like you, say "families hey?" but then I get a few days when I can't get it off my mind.

It is such a worry and I can't see a way round it.  When my Mum has had to go into hospital for ops I have always asked if she'd like to come back here for a few days and she always does.  Because they don't speak to me they never even ring up and ask how she is in case I answer the phone I guess.  She always tells them she's coming here and they know our number so there's no excuse. I think that's truly terrible.