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[Lifeofa50yearold]

Good Morning everyone
I have just joined today & hoping to find solace here.
My husband works till 4am and has told me to put the soaked end of the duvet over to his side of the bed so i can try and get back to sleep again. ( so sweet) He also never moans if i need the fan blasting on both our faces with the windows open even though its cold outside.
When i come downstairs with 2 lots of spaked nighties & pj bottoms 2 pillowcases and a mattress pad in my arms , he says oh Darling give me those i can set the washing machine.he says this every morning. And asks if i need anything iced ribena or toast.
I never thought id ever meet such a loving man . I got married last  ;Dnovember aged 49 .

[Bex68]

I've found that the best support I receive is from my grown up son. Throughout our lives we have been through so much together that we have found we have a very special connection. If we're apart he knows if there is something wrong with me. I know my son and My partner, not his dad,  talk a lot and my OH takes his lead from my son. However they both recently realised they were doing something monumentally wrong, and that was to follow my lead. Sometimes, I need someone to take the reigns rather than follow me. Like I said to my son,don't follow me, I'm lost!!!!
My partner is not big at showing emotions (although he came rushing to my side when I burst into tears last weekend for no reason, which was a surprise really). I have printed off the husbands advice for us to read together, hopefully tonight. But I know he loves me. Xx

[babyjane]

He does his best which is all he can do really, however one thing that would really help that he doesn't take on board is this (and I hope he can hear)  LEAVE YOUR DAMN MOBILE PHONE SWITCHED ON AND WITH YOU WHEN YOU ARE AWAY!!!!!!

[babyjane]

I could have hugged my husband today in the supermarket but I didn't.  It is only recently I have started going with him to do our shopping because of my anxiety, he has been going alone for some time.  We only had a small shop to do so off we went. 

He likes to go through the self checkout, I don't as I get in a muddle but as he was there too I went to the self checkout.  Between us we got the shopping through but I got in a muddle with the payment.  He didn't make an issue of it or start doing it for me, he just gently said "take your time, there's no rush".  He knew I could do it if I calmed down and I did.  I love that man 

[misme7]

My partner is always there for me, no matter how many times that I have been horrible to him and pushed him away.  He truly listens to me, and has all the time for me, despite him having a busy career.  He is a very positive person, despite what he has seen in his career. His positivity helps me at times. He makes me laugh, when I am down, and surprises me with little gifts. There is nothing that he will not do for me, however I dont mean he is a doormat.
I apologise for my behaviour to him and feel so unhappy about how I behave, however the peri menopause and menopause on top of what I already have, can turn me into a pyschotic mad woman.  Hormonal upheaval makes my existing anxiety and depression so much worse.
He tries to understand how I feel with agoraphobia, anxiety, social anxiety and depression, not to mention the mood swings. He has been put through hell emotionally I am sure, because of me, but he stays, he is calm, positive and reassuring and he never ever has given up on me, when I know most men would have.
I have had mental health issues since 14, but never sought help until a few years ago. Unfortunately due to cutbacks the help was almost non existent. I self help instead.
The peri menopause and menopause made me so ill as it aggravated my mental health. that I had an hellish breakdown. I went through bad enough times with severe pre menstrual tension and post natal depression. The breakdown was the worst. That was in the last few years.The peri menopause and menopause made me so ill as it aggravated my mental health. that I had an hellish breakdown. I went through bad enough times with severe pre menstrual tension and post natal depression. The breakdown was the worst. That was in the last few years. It left me agoraphobic. It left me agoraphobic, however I can get out with my gorgeous dog, or a trusted person.
If a partner stays with the other who is going through bad times be it mental or physical health then I believe that truly shows the meaning of the word "love".

[wend123]

My OH read through this last night  and thought it was great advice. Apparently he had been searching for a male forum to support partners through it, which he hadn't been able to find so this was brill advice. He actually said it should be a leaflet produced inside all HRT products for women to give to their OH!!

[SusieT]

My husband can be challenging!  But when he thinks I'm struggling he suggest we bloat out and watch a film, whilst snacking on whatever I want.  If I'm getting really ratty, he just hides!  Which is actually quite funny and usually pulls be back to the 'here and now'. Love him. x

[Redthelma]

Whilst I was going out of my gourd Manic again he went online & signed me up to this group just hoping it would help me to realise menopause was triggering me. Not sure how I got so lucky. 

[Lanzalover]

Hi Redthelma


 


Oh how lovely of your partner to do that for you. There's always plenty of help and support on here.


Lanzalover x

[becca]

Last night my husband (yet again in the spare room and disturbed by my intermittent bursts of hormonal tears) got up at 4am and came to keep me company because he said he didn't want me to feel like I had to face it alone. It made me feel very lucky

[Bettythecat]

My first post. I spotted this discussion and wanted to mention my husband who has been so pleased at the effect of HRT on me that the other night he came to bed - naked as usual - but with a piece of sellotape on his behind. He made a big deal of making sure I saw it and said ‘these HRT patches are amazing aren't they. I'm giving it a go...' This is typical of his weird and warped sense of humour but because we can laugh about it I've been able to tell him honestly how I'm being affected by menopausal sysmptoms and he's been able to understand and be supportive. He also appreciates the happier, calmer me and understands the effect of the menopause better.

[Joaniepat]

Hi Bettythecat, welcome to the forum. That made me laugh, your husband sounds like a real treasure. Glad the patches are working for both of you 
JP x

[Bettythecat]

Thanks JP pleased to join the forum!

[Tiddles]

Mine brought his beer fridge in from the garage to the bedroom and left it on by my side of the bed with the door open to cool me down :-D :-D :-D

He also buys me flowers every time I have a bad doctor's appointment.  I've had more flowers in the last 3 months than I have in the past 3 years.  Love him <3

[ban-sithe]

I got a text this afternoon asking what I was doing Thursday. My reply was followed by an invite to a spa day at a local hotel.

(He is a lovely, wonderful person but spontaneous grand acts of material affection are not his usual MO. I must be in a right state!)