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[paisley]

mac just to give you a big big hug and understand you are not losing it and that lots of us on here have been through this. Emotional things are the worse for me, I can cope with physical much more than mental. Hopefully your gp will be able to advise you on hrt. Life sucks sometimes doesn't it. I am withdrawing from AD at mo and it is horrendous. I do know how you feel but you will get there. Take care

[CLKD]

I still only take half a day at a time and try not to plan too far ahead.

[CLKD]

We have a his and hers calender and a separate one for every one else that we engage with - so I can put stuff on and forget until 24 hours before.  I am a spontaneous person usually. 

[mac]

Hi Ladies

Back from the GP's and she was very understanding and supportive, what a relief.  I took my Oh with me because as you know I thought I was seriously loosing my mind this morning.  It continued into the afternoon, then i felt a little better when I was chatting to the Gp but at the moment I am Mrs Angry and unreasonable.  I seem to be pacing the floor a lot.  I hope this is just hormones
The GP listened to me and although she agreed that i needed HRT she is more concerned about my mental health at the moment and i would agree with her.  I know its been said on here before that only HRT can really sort out these hormonal fluctuations but I'm willing to give anything a try.  I have to take propanalol 40mg twice a day and she has started me on citalopram 10mg for a week and then increasing it to 20mg and i need to see her in 2 weeks.  She said i wasn't going mad but the stress of the last 18 months (will tell you more later) could have contributed to the way i feel plus the hormonal change.  I have to trust them and believe that i will get better.  The resent post about citalopram do make me a bit scared and the side effects and also taking the propanalol.  I been taking 20mgs of the propanalol and today I have taken 60mgs so i have another 20 that i can take before bed.  At the moment i think i might have difficulty in sleeping I feel all wired if you know what i mean. I have also felt very cold today don't know if thats anything to do with hormones.  Can anxiety last all day?  I felt a lot of nausea this afternoon.

Thank you all.

Mac

[Christine662]

Hi mac

Yes anxiety can last all day sometimes babe. But try to think of having a lovely sleep & waking up feeling better tomorrow.

Can you watch tv in bed, that helps me drop off when I am 'wired'. Or read a magazine with a nice cuppa in bed?

Did she not want to give you HRT?

Do you have any rescue remedy spray in the house?

Stumpy xx

[mac]

Hi Stumpy

Yes she wants me to have HRT but to try this first because this is my 4 visit to the GP in a week all anxiety related.  Although i did have anxiety whilst on HRT this seems more intense and i don't seem to get  much relief.  I am so scared of ending up in A/E because of this and making a fool of myself or worst still that this is another problem that is not realted to the menopause I wish I had one of you ladies on speed dial
I have rescue remedy but not sure if i should take it with all the other pills.

Mac

[CLKD]

You can take the rescue remedy as required, I use the mouth spray and not as often as I used to.  So it DOES get better, but I was a long while believing that my brain and body were beginning to harmonise again.

You seem to have a good GP and glad that your OH went along too.  What we believe and what we feel are totally alien to each other and my feelings often over-rode what people would tell me.  It was in my gut and bowel not my brain and the fear took over rapidly.

I take Ciprolex 5mg at night.  That means that if it makes me dozey that's fine, any other side effects can go over in the night.  I take that and my 40mg beta-blocka whilst in the bath with an Actimel drink .......... that way I am already on my way to relaxing.  Nights when I am unable to sleep I use my NintendoDS or listen to the radio .............

Half a day at a time     

[paisley]

Hi mac i know how scarey all this is and the sense of thinking we are losing control but it will go and I know you don't think that at the moment and that is cos you are so in the midst of it but you WILL feel better. As I said I am going through AD withdrawal cos I stupidly stopped it abruptly and I haven't felt this bad for a while. Hoping this will pass soon. I am sure once your meds start to kick in you will feel a lot better. Get lots of reassurance from your family and on here cos at mo you need it from people who aren't where you are at mo and can see past to when you will feel better soon. AND YOU WILL FEEL BETTER
Take care

[CLKD]

It always amazes me when I've had a good spell *how* ill I feel when I'm bad ........... 

[mac]

There are many things that i am learning about myself on this journey but the biggest reward was finding this forum and all you lovely gorgeous ladies.  I will never be able to return your kindness and it makes me feel proud and humble that you are all their for me.  I have always been the one that gives but now I am the receiver.

Sorry if that sounds odd but I am so grateful to you all.

Mac

[CLKD]

That's OK!  the kettle is always on 

[Horsie]

It always amazes me when I've had a good spell *how* ill I feel when I'm bad ........... 

I totally agree with this CLKD

Mac, I'm glad that you saw your GP and that things should start to improve for you as it sounds like you've been having a really horrendous time 

[paisley]

I've said this before but I reckon gps should look at this site as I really think they could learn a thing or two to help their patients and understand more of what we have go through.

[mac]

I think for me, actually admitting to myself that i need help is half the battle.  After being brought up with 6 brothers it's not always an easy thing to do

Mac

Paisley, I totally agree xx

[Christine662]

Hi mac

How are you this morning?