My approach would be to take the dose of estrogen that works for you and keeps you well, then titrate the progestogen to control your endometrium on that dose.
Dydrogesterone has just become available in the UK which is on a par with progesterone for being the least unfavorable in terms of breast risk, but is much more potent at lower doses for endometrial protection. Availability on the NHS is patchy but improving.
In terms of your family history, considering genetic testing would be a good idea, this would either qualify you for risk reducing surgery if positive or put your mind at rest if negative.
It is never worth suffering from untreated or suboptimally treated menopause due to fear of breast cancer because the additional risk is so small and in most cases outweighed by other changes the hormone therapy allows you to make such as being able to exercise and control your weight, which are far bigger risks.
Even if in the worst case scenario you had a BRCA gene, the difference that HRT makes to that already extremely high lifetime risk is absolutely marginal, akin to flying a jumbo jet and flapping your arms as well.
(I am a non carrier within a BRCA2 family, lucky enough to have had risk reducing mastectomies prior to the availability of genetic testing so I totally understand what it is like to live with that fear of will I be next).
