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[CrispyChick]

So

I'm trying not to write too many threads. On my latest thread it's about me needing to try something as I was do desperately ill.

So, I increased cerazette to 1.5, 12 days ago. Bearing in mind I tried 2 Cerazette last April - which 6 weeks in had supressed my E too far, too fast.

But now...my moods. They are scaring me. Mood swings have been huge for me all through this. The last two years - horrific. Hence my trying to supress.

But I'm scared. My mood swings are now causing me to feel suicidal. Is this the increased pill? Did not have this back in April. Is it my own hormones underneath, because certainly on one cerazette I was not supressed - day 12. Not supressed yet?

I feel that I want to stop.it all. But to be on nothing leaves me so physically ill I want to be dead (not necessarily suicidal in mood).  But now this? My mood was fine this morning. Now so bad.

I have truly had enough. When will this hell end for me?

I can't take ssri or mirtazapine. In fact, I'm so sensitive I can't take anything.

And now this!  Not seeing the very expensive top hornones expert until mid Jan.

Not sure what to do right now. I just can't keep going in this hell. 

How long is it likely to take the extra 1/2 Cerazette to start supressing??

[Mary G]

Crispy, I'm so sorry to hear that, it's so wretched.

Why don't you see if you can bring your appointment forward?  Ring the consultant tomorrow and tell them you are desperate.  How about asking for an interim telephone consultation?

In the meantime, I would stick with the Cerazette dose but you need urgent help.  I'm just sorry I can't come up with any useful suggestions.

PS: I should add that it might take a few weeks to completely suppress FSH and LH and I have just read that younger women sometimes need a higher dose which you are now taking of course.

[CrispyChick]

Thank you Mary    You are so kind to me.

I'm going to try and push through because, as you say, it will take a few weeks to supress. Going back to one cerazette or nothing is hit an option - the physical is too severe.

But these swings are corkers. It just seems to keep getting worse for me. Which of course, makes me very suss that it is all hormones.

Ok. So if I'm still swinging with fluctuations that is hopefully the cause, rather than the extra progestin.

My husband is contacting the clinic tomorrow to ask. I'm very doubtful though.   

Thank you. I'm having some wine now and I've perked up a bit. Xx

[Losingtheplot]

Big hugs Crispychick you have been thru such an awful time and I feel for you so so much. I have read your previous threads and you really have no luck.

The mood swings are so debilitating and the thoughts of when will this end and will I start feeling like me again I recognise all to well.

I really do hope you get a sooner appointment and wish I could do more to help you.  You are in my thoughts and I really hope you get to a calmer place soon where things stabilise xxxxxx p s pleased the wine has helped x

[dangermouse]

Is there a way to test your hormones in the next few days, I think you have one that you use?

I know that you know when you have gone too far with progesterone as you get joint pain so are you having any? Depression is more likely with progesterone dominance, as compared to anxiety with oestrogen dominance. Or does this feel more a panic, anxious feeling? Could then just be your own oestrogen surging and crashing.

Do you have some oestrogen that you could add in right now just to see what happens? Perhaps you will have a different response if your prog has gone much higher. Coming from a place of you feel so bad, why not try it, as I know you are concerned about the stomach pain and nose pressure.

It’s more for intel as to what’s happening rather than relief.

Remember you will have a cycle going on, one week can be completely opposite to another week. This even happens post menopause as the hypothalamus continues to pulse for 3-10 years.

[Lclegg002]

Morning crispy 😍 what a complete and utter shit show this menopause is. I wish someone could tell me why most of my friends are sailing though, no symptoms, yet for some of us it is utterly debilitating, life changing and definitely not for the better.
Well, I thought I was on the up but over the past month my mood has been awful and the suicidal thoughts have been back with a vengeance and 3 weeks ago I was so close to ending it all. I don’t think anyone who hasn’t experienced it would ever really be able to imagine how painful and desperate it feels to be so severely depressed.
I have now, once again, had to use savings to see a consultant gynae to discuss chemical menopause. She thinks there’s a lot more going on with me and my mental health isn’t stable enough for this option yet although is open to it in the future. She recommended I speak with a psychiatrist to explore meds and last week I had an appt with one and she has changed me from sertraline (which I’ve been on for 20’years) to venlafaxine with quetiapine and Valium to take during the transition. It’s really been such a hard decision to make for me but enough really is enough. I am on day 5 of my new meds and no difference as yet but I cannot lose hope!
I do wonder if, like dangermouse suggested, If some Estrogen may help. Perhaps the extra desogestrel has suppressed you fully now and your brain needs some Estrogen. It’s so hard to know unfortunately, my diary no longer makes much sense to me as symptoms overlap and I do now feel that some of my issues stem further than menopause. I saw you mentioned buspar on a different thread … I was on this years ago to help with the anxiety from starting sertraline. I also have a friend on it who uses it for an antidepressant transition. It is good for anxiety but I’m not sure what the benefits would be other than this. I think you’ve tried anti depressants before? Were you given any meds to help with the initial side effects as the start up can be pretty rough? My psych did also mention using pregabalin further down the line if needed, have you ever tried this?
Thinking of you crispy, you’re really not alone, it’s such a horrible  horrible time xx

[CrispyChick]

Thanks all.

I'm really ill at this moment. Haven't been able to get up today. But I was horrific the last 8 weeks as my cycle fluctuations came through fiercely. Hence upping Cerazette.

My gut feeling is incredibly oversevsitive to all hormonal changes. So increasing the progestin is just yet another change.

I don't think I'm supressed yet. I think I'm right in the eye of the storm of the change. Hence I feel so ill.

If I add in estrogen - it's more change. I'll get worse.

My plan was for the hormone expert to decide this, as I'd be stable on cerazette.

The mood swings have been absolutely brutal this week. Yes, quite possibly just too much progestin. But it's all I have.

Just going to keep trying to muddle through. It's horrific.

Lclegg - I'm so sorry sorry you are back in the trenches. I hope these experts can help you. I took can't understand why I feel so hideous when friends get the odd flush or heavy bleed. What we are going through is beyond imaginable for most people.

I keep reaching out telling my GP that I'm feeling like I'd rather be dead - I don't seen to get any help.

Yes. Ssri made me worse, as did mirtazapine. It's not start up. As i did 12 hideous weeks on ssri. I'm just so oversensitive to everything. 

[CrispyChick]

I guess this is my last trial. I usually find it's 4 weeks to show in bloods, but a further two weeks to show end results. I'm day 13.

If this fails. I'll stop the lot.

Go back to natural. And...well, quite frankly my cycle is so awful, I'm not sure I'll survive. 

[CrispyChick]

I'm thinking about this E add back.

Ideally I'd wait until my 4 week bloods - to check I'm supressed. As I might not be on just 1.5

But. If I decide to go ahead sooner. It'd be with tiny dose. Starting say 1/8 pump oestrogel.

I mean, it might be worth getting started soon. As it'll be a very slow titration.

Would adding Estrogen hinder the supression in any way?

[Sophya]

It’s really hard to deal with swings that hit this fast, especially when you’re already exhausted from months of trying different doses. That sudden drop from feeling okay in the morning to feeling unsafe later in the day is a sign that something in the mix is hitting your system in a sensitive spot. Twelve days is still early for a change like this and some people feel the mood side first before any real suppression happens.

What matters most right now is staying safe until you see that specialist. If the dose increase is making you feel worse, you don’t have to push through it on your own. A GP or urgent care doctor can help steady things even if you can’t take SSRIs. You’re not stuck and you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re overwhelmed and your body is reacting loudly.

You’re not alone in this. Please re

[dangermouse]

It’s says Cerazette (desogestrel) lowers FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone) and LH (luteinizing hormone) more effectively than traditional progestin-only pills (POPs) primarily due to its higher potency and greater selectivity for the progesterone receptor, which results in consistent and strong inhibition of ovulation.

So I don’t think that adding in Oestrogel will affect the suppression.

[CrispyChick]

Geez, I hadn't noticed this before.

So when on 2 Cerazette from April - June my fsh had plummeted by 3 weeks, but continued to drop by 6 weeks. Lh too.

After I went to one cerazette, things became more volatile, but my fsh and lh stayed quite low  so by Aug they were both low.

Then by early Nov - when in absolute hell -thet had shot up - FSH being 52. Surely this is some indication that hormones are playing into all this illness.

Now, I got a breakthrough bleed and this all triggered. It's possible it was caused by COVID.

Anyway. Either way, if I can get more, tolerable suppression - I need to get it. But the move to greater supression is causing carnage. I feel very ill - but that's a change and movement of hormones, right?

So my bloods indicate it was somewhere between 3 weeks and 6 weeks for fsh to flatline. In my experience with chem meno, it's probably around 4 weeks. I feel very very ill whilst this takes place.

So I need to try and push through, yet again.

I am very worried that I'll end up in a bad place again if I just supress. Ideally I'd be adding back a bit of E. But I know I won't tolerate. Not sure what to do for the best. 

[Vicky81]

Crispy hope you dont mind me jumping in on your post but im not permitted to post still

Does anyone know what mg utrogesten id need to take vaginally to suppress the ovaries aries please?

[CLKD]

  Vicky81  U R posting .......... 

[CrispyChick]

When should I add in tiny dose estrogen???

I'm scared I'll descend too far into suppression again with the cetazette - which makes me feel hideous.

But I'm currently in a flare as I've changed hormones by increasing the Cerazette.

If I add in E now - I'll.flare more. But I will do, whenever I add it.

But I do want to know if 1.5 cerazette is supressing me. I'll know that on bloods about 4 weeks in. Should I wait for that?

Just seeking advice, not medical opinion.