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Author Topic: Not Suicidal but Suicidal Thoughts  (Read 5091 times)

CLKD

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Re: Not Suicidal but Suicidal Thoughts
« Reply #30 on: August 17, 2025, 10:56:25 AM »

Morning - so far OK.  Yourself?
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Dorothy Gale

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Re: Not Suicidal but Suicidal Thoughts
« Reply #31 on: August 17, 2025, 07:33:36 PM »

Hi.

Not been able to read all this thread but read your post and just wanted to say thst was me 2 years ago.

Completely suicidal, in late perimenopause and not in a good placd at all.

I won't go into how bad it got but suffice to say I went on medication as it was do or die.

Citalopram saved my life. Literally. It wasn't an easy road to begin with but 2 and a bit years in and I'm a different woman all because of this drug.

I appreciate it won't work for everyone but there is hope and to hang in there.

Much love x
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CLKD

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Re: Not Suicidal but Suicidal Thoughts
« Reply #32 on: August 17, 2025, 07:38:02 PM »

tnx for the update Dorothy Gale  :foryou:
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Lavender Girl

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Re: Not Suicidal but Suicidal Thoughts
« Reply #33 on: August 19, 2025, 07:03:00 AM »

Hi Dorothy,
Thank you for this, that is very hopeful.
The Sertraline side effects are hitting me hard, but I'm only on day 5, my anxiety is higher, but I was warned it'd get worse before it gets better so I'm hanging in there as I know it will be get better, well I hope it will!!

So happy to read your success story and that things are good.
Thank you for sharing
xx

Hi.

Not been able to read all this thread but read your post and just wanted to say thst was me 2 years ago.

Completely suicidal, in late perimenopause and not in a good placd at all.

I won't go into how bad it got but suffice to say I went on medication as it was do or die.

Citalopram saved my life. Literally. It wasn't an easy road to begin with but 2 and a bit years in and I'm a different woman all because of this drug.

I appreciate it won't work for everyone but there is hope and to hang in there.

Much love x
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Mariab

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Re: Not Suicidal but Suicidal Thoughts
« Reply #34 on: August 19, 2025, 07:08:16 PM »

How are you doing lavender girl?
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Lavender Girl

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Re: Not Suicidal but Suicidal Thoughts
« Reply #35 on: August 20, 2025, 06:22:17 AM »

Morning Maria,

Thank you for checking in.
Suffering the side effects to the Sertraline, but only on day 8 so I'm trying to push through it and hope it gets better.
The anxiety is mentally but also physically feeling quite brutal and debilitating right now. That crushing chest and waking with the sick in my stomach feeling, throat lump etc.
I was warned this could be the case for a few weeks so I'm holding on and just keep saying to myself it's just the meds.
What I have to be really careful about is not thinking about the emotional situation I've been going through as much, which is near on impossible but trying to keep it out my head while I feel this bad in case I start spiralling again.

Last week and the one before were the darkest I think I've had, it coincided with what would be PMT and my period coming, I have the coil, but was bleeding still, so i know it was the perfect storm.
If I can try and flatline some of physical symptoms then I can try to work through the heartbreak stuff.

I've forgotten how it feels to feel happy, and have lost myself right now.  Just hoping this isn't my new normal
How are you doing?
x


How are you doing lavender girl?
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Mariab

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Re: Not Suicidal but Suicidal Thoughts
« Reply #36 on: August 20, 2025, 06:59:44 AM »

I know exactly how you are feeling..I am still.in a blip with the same gut feeling, loss of appetite, morning anxiety etc....but had a good afternoon yesterday so hoping things are settling again...
It is awful carrying that feeling with you but it does stop...is this the first time on  ssri???...just take each day at a time.
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Lavender Girl

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Re: Not Suicidal but Suicidal Thoughts
« Reply #37 on: August 20, 2025, 10:06:28 AM »

It's awful, but determined to stick at it.  Yes first time.
How long have you been on yours? and which one again?
Yes all we can do isn't it, even minute by minute.  Trying to keep distracted as much as I can.
Hope things are settling down for you soon
x

I know exactly how you are feeling..I am still.in a blip with the same gut feeling, loss of appetite, morning anxiety etc....but had a good afternoon yesterday so hoping things are settling again...
It is awful carrying that feeling with you but it does stop...is this the first time on  ssri???...just take each day at a time.
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Mariab

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Re: Not Suicidal but Suicidal Thoughts
« Reply #38 on: August 20, 2025, 03:04:46 PM »

I'm.on citalopram, I tried sertraline but made me really nauseous so had to stop...
First time round in my experience works abit quicker than second  time but I'm sure that being perimenopause etc..makes things abit harder...
You will start to notice that you may have a few mins feeling OK without knowing  and then hours then days ..we all ahbe our set back and it takes no end of courage to get through it..so your doing really well 8 days is relatively early  but keep in your mind that what's on the otherwise is worth it.xx its ok to cry and fall apart and its ok to feel..let us know how you get on.  :)
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Lavender Girl

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Re: Not Suicidal but Suicidal Thoughts
« Reply #39 on: August 20, 2025, 06:16:40 PM »

Felt quite sick the first couple of days, that's settled a bit and again it's hard to distinguish between that and the anxious gut feeling I get ya know?... it's all just such a mess right now.

That was my other option but Doc said to try Sertraline first as the main one they used for anxiety in Peri so she tells me.

Thank you so much, that's good to know.  I just need the edge taken off so i can feel a bit calmer especially around my period time.
Still have the voice in my head daily that says 'I want to die' but it's not as loud atm, so we'll see.

Sending lots of love and thanks again xx

I'm.on citalopram, I tried sertraline but made me really nauseous so had to stop...
First time round in my experience works abit quicker than second  time but I'm sure that being perimenopause etc..makes things abit harder...
You will start to notice that you may have a few mins feeling OK without knowing  and then hours then days ..we all ahbe our set back and it takes no end of courage to get through it..so your doing really well 8 days is relatively early  but keep in your mind that what's on the otherwise is worth it.xx its ok to cry and fall apart and its ok to feel..let us know how you get on.  :)
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