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[debbyx]

Hi everyone

I am having a bad time right now.

I am 62 and thought I sailed through menopause but at 59 I had every symptom you could think of but I was coping but from Christmas things have got worse  the acid  reflux palpitations etc come and go but my anxiety has just got so bad I can hardly do any thing any more
Yesterday was such a bad day ,  I can’t relax if I sit down if I walk about I think I am going to fall over. I just cry all day , I am self employed and work from home but struggling to even talk to people on the phone.  If the postman knocks I panic because I don’t want to answer the door
I don’t know how I have got like this. 

I have an Apple Watch and I check my heart rate and blood oxygen and ECG about 50 times a day I have even got a blood pressure machine and do that several times  a day too as I am convinced I have something wrong with me  I even take my temperature, but they are all normal .

I don’t go out ,  I don’t want people in but I am scared when I am on my own
I spent the whole day thinking I will collapse.  The hot weather has made me worse , I am even to scared to have a bath ,  my husband does nothing to help and just won’t listen to me when I tell him I am struggling he just said I have turned in to a horrible person , but I’m not I don’t want to be like this . I want to be how I was before.

.  The only time I relax is at night when I am in bed and I am fine .
But then I get up in the morning I  just don’t want to have to get through another day .

I spoke to the doctor a month ago and he
Didn’t seem to think HRt was a good idea at 62.  He is calling me today to discuss maybe going on AD.   I have never been on any sort of medication before so not sure what to do. 

I just want to be me again. 

[Dotty]

I would try and see another doctor. Are you suffering other symptoms….hot flushes, joint pains, etc ?
You can start HRT at 62.

[Taz2]

I agree with Dotty. HRT can be started at 62. I do think though that you may also be suffering from Generalised Anxiety Disorder which, although it can be caused by menopause, usually needs treatment alongside HRT. It's easy for your world to gradually 'shrink' as yours has at the moment until you only feel safe and calm in a very small area such as your bed at night. Don't give up trying to sort this. I'm sorry your husband is not being supportive but it can be difficult for others to understand unless they have experienced it. This link may help you understand what may be happening to you https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/generalised-anxiety-disorder-gad/

Taz 

[sheila99]

I think you should see a different gp too, many surgeries have someone a bit more clued up on menopause so you could ask the receptionist. Until very recently meno was an optional topic at medical school and perhaps he isn't aware the NICE guidelines no longer have an age limit (it used to 60). My anxiety has completely gone with hrt. It might be that you need an ad as well but if it was me I'd make sure I got hrt before being fobbed of with an ad. It's worth reading the NICE guidelines so can advocate for yourself, hrt not ads should be the first option for meno symptoms. Sadly your GPS reaction is all too common, the same happened to me (I refused the ad and they did prescribe hrt).

[Jacqueline333]

Hi, I’m so sorry you’re suffering so badly and I doubt it’s any consolation but when I read your post, I thought you were writing about me. I feel exactly the same. You are not alone and I doubt there is anything wrong with you. Everything you are suffering is exactly what I’m going through and I know I’m healthy. This is just the menopause. It’s a horrible place to be. I just hope you can find some resolution from a good doctor and maybe knowing millions of other women are going through exactly what you are might help you a little I wish you all the luck in the world.

[CLKD]

Your GP is out of date!  ADs are not the 1st treatment for menopause, however: an appropriate anti-anxiety medication should be prescribed to ease your feelings.  I was given Valium under the watch of my GP in that he gave me enough for each week: eventually I was able to use it as necessary, prior to an Event that I was unable to get out [visiting his family].  I took it for a few years and knew that I required the 1 5mg tablet, never anymore.

I was also prescribed Propranolol - a betablocka to ease early morning anxiety surges. These helped for years until Covid lockdown when I stopped.  [it was the best year I have ever experienced: Boris said stay at home so I did]

How long since your last period [if U can remember].  Ovaries may still pump out hormone long after ....... which will affect how we feel.

For a few months after my final bleed I would itch all over B4 I got into the bath, insteps in particular.  I would wake with one ruff heel rubbing the opposite to relieve itching.  I had cold flushes from the. nape to mid shoulder level but that didn't last more than 3 months.  Various joint aches and pains I've put down to loss of oestrogen = laxity of muscles.

It's The Change - I would be asking for an appropriate anti-anxiety medication which may be an anti-depressant - as well as discussion about suitable HRT.  Have a list ready so that you don't 4get anything and let us know how you get on. Remember you don't have to change up the script if U want to talk about what has been suggested to members here ;-

[Sunriser]

So sorry to hear this, I’ve had a similar experience. I saw a hypnotherapist who said I needed to reassure my brain that I was safe. (Had a few scary experiences). I could hardly even go out into the garden.
My advice would be to take small steps. Go easy on yourself and remind yourself that you are safe. Small steps will bring big results and you will feel better, it is possible.

[CLKD]

Get rid of apps too as they increase obsessional observations!  Use that time to learn how to deep breath and take time out.

How R U feeling today debbyx ?

[debbyx]

Thank you for all your replies.

Since posting I have got 10 times worse
I had my GP appointment but no reassurance just told to try the AD.

The last few days have been so bad I just don’t know how I am going to cope.

I am in bed right now to scared to get up as I can’t face another day , i turned my phone off on Friday because I can’t even speak to people right now and that’s  not good for my business.  I didn’t even speak to my sister yesterday for our weekly chat
How have I managed to get like this.  ?Even talking on the phone makes me feel anxious,  how stupid is that. 




I just cry all day.  Until it’s time to go to bed and then I feel safe again. 

If you were to ask me what my symptoms are right now it would be hard to say it’s just a very big overwhelming feeling of dread and something bad is going to happen  and my legs feel like jelly and will not hold me up.  is that stupid ?

But the strange thing is when I look in the mirror my hair and skin look amazing and I look so well so why do I feel so bad. 


My GP gave me numbers for Anxiety help line’s but  does any one know if there is a Menopause help line.  I know this forum is brilliant but to actually speak to someone some times would be good.

[CLKD]

Not stupid at all!  Has your sister tried to contact U at all?  Do U live close?

Your GP is correct: some ADs do ease anxiety .......... what's to lose? 

When I was depressed and anxious I was unable to walk the dog, go into the garden, answer the phone, open post ........ I never found any of the various help lines of use !

MayB whilst U R in bed practice stretching - toes first, hold relax; calves next, hold relax - all the way up the body.  Try to concentrate on each muscle group, I know how hard that can be.  I was supposed to practice deep breathing ......... 

Try to find some 'reels' which can raise a smile, ones about cats/dogs doing silly things keep me occupied for hours in this heat!  This too will pass.  which AD has been prescribed?

[Dierdre]

You do need HRT but at the moment you need to get your anxiety under control and AD's will do that a lot faster than HRT.  You can then speak to another doctor about starting HRT  when you feel up to it.
Also ask about Talking Therapy, I found this extremely helpful with GAD and I cope very well now without any medication.