Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in US church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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> The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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> The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water." The Sermon
> tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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> Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM
> in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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> Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
> those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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> The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled
> due to a conflict.
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> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
> someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care
> much about you.
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> Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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