I agree with Minusminne - also get yourself onto a waiting list for CRUSE, a bereavement support group for the bereaved. Some1 to talk directly to about your feelings of loss.
Of course, the choice is yours whether to use appropriate VA treatment. However, do be aware that many GPs/medics still do not understand the symptoms of vaginal atrophy and by using a dip stick in surgery, continue to prescribe anti-biotic therapy when 'nitrates' may be normal for you.
I had treatment for cancer in 1990s and have used VA treatment without any concerns. Quality of Life is important.