Hi All
Thank you so much for accepting my request to join. I've used forum for advice, for quite a while now, to help me get through the worst of my peri-menopause and especially when I started HRT. I had most dreadful experience with my first patches, Evorel Sequi, and this forum helped me through that.
I decided to join because there was an incident at work which has upset me greatly. After typing this, I don't what I'm asking for. Perhaps support, perhaps to get it off my chest.
After 6 months of heavy bleeding on Sequi, I saw a new doctor who agreed that Sequi was wrong for me and prescribed Conti. Conti been great except I get these vertigo attacks, which are now starting to ease off. I also get these funny turns just before a bleed starts, which are very hard to describe. I suppose I'm pre-menstrual, just forgotten what it's like
The vertigo attacks were having a negative impact on my mood and my ability to focus. I decided to be honest with my team at work (I'm the team manager) by explaining that I was going through the menopause and about my vertigo, especially after I had one particularly bad attack at work. I explain that it was only temporarily and I was certain that the symptoms would soon pass. It seemed well received, no-one complained and working life happily carried on.
Fast forward to now, I'm hearing rumours that I am struggling to do my job because of the menopause. My director mentioned this in passing. My line manager and our director know I'm going through the peri-menopause but I've not asked for any special arrangements and I've not told them about the vertigo.
HR have received a complaint about me from someone in my team who I have been having problems with. We had a mediation session last week during which she read out a statement saying my menopause disclosure was only to control the team and that I should not be allowed to use my menopause symptoms as an excuse. She said it was insulting to all in the team because we are all the same age and are all going through the menopause. We're not the same age, at 55 I'm 15 to 30 years older than the rest of the team. She's in her mid-30s but that's not to say she isn't going through the peri-menopause. She said I was not worthy to be in the same space or breathe the same air as my team. Everyone at the company hates me. The mediator said nothing and let her continue with her character assassination of me.
I left meeting upset and am currently off work with stress. I did speak to HR but they can't do anything as all what was discussed in the mediation session is confidential. For that reason, I didn't disclose what was exactly said.
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't feel like I belong anymore. I've rarely leave the house and when I do, I find it difficult to be around other people. I feel like I've lost everyone's support and it's my fault. When my peri-menopause started 10 years, I didn't know what was going on with me; I was experiencing anxiety and these unexplainable rages and irritability. My doctor diagnosed me with severe depression and said my physical symptoms were due to age. It wasn't until the recent exposure menopause has had in the media, that I realised that my health issues were related to the menopause. I took affirmative action by asking for HRT and by looking at the menopause policy at work - I had struggled with previous jobs and I wanted to change that. I thought I was finally turning my life around but I've simply dug a bigger hole for myself. I don't want to be this person anymore.
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We have a list of resources on our Menopause at Work page:
https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/menopause_at_work.php