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[Sparkle]

Hi all,

My VA symptoms started a few months ago with an extreme burning on the outside when sitting & sometimes an urgency to pee.

I’ve been using Vagifem, it’s been a slow start because at first it gave me diarrhea every morning so I could only use half a pessary each night due to the effects in the morning. I’ve now built up a tolerance for it so I’m reloading and able to use a whole pessary each night & also a smear of estriol 1% on the outside where the main problem is. The skin on the outside has become very lax & thin and dried out & withered :-( I’m only 53.

Does anyone else with this issue have an office job & how do you cope with sitting for hours at a time?  I have to sit for 5 hours every day and I’m at my wits end, in pain within an hour of sitting. I’ve got myself a u shaped cushion to take the pressure off, I wear soft trousers or a skirt yet I’m in agony by the end of the day. 

Tomorrow, I don’t feel I have any choice but to ask my manager if there’s any chance working from home a couple of days a week so I can stand at my kitchen table & work from my laptop like that. The ceo’s don’t like home working so I don’t know how well that will go. Also I have to face the extreme embarrassment of explaining my issues to my manager, luckily she’s female, although young, but very understanding (hopefully).

I can’t believe I might be in a position where I won’t be able to do my job anymore because of this, I’ve worked at the same place for 9 years.
I can’t ‘not work’ because I have to pay the bills. This menopause is so horrible:-(

Any advice welcome
Thanks

[Nas]

Hi Sparkle,
This sounds awful for you.

I would really lay on the oestrogen cream to try and keep the skin as moisturised as possible. Can you tolerate 2 vagifem a day?

I fully empathise re: work. I’m starting to get the burning and definitely have the continual weeing! I work in a school, so can get away with dashing to the loo between lessons. My consultant has prescribed oxybutinin for the bladder. Haven’t tried it yet!

Definitely ask for a reasonable adjustment at work. Failing that, can you take some sick leave until you feel more comfortable?

Meno is the pits x

[Wend861]

You can ask for reasonable adjustments so you can carry on your job in the office. Many offices have "standing" desks which would help you. It is very unhealthy for anyone to sit for hours at a time anyway.
You don't have to give intimate details if you don't want to. Simply say sitting for a long time is uncomfortable, it could be for a multitude of reasons.
It is your boss's duty to provide a comfortable way for you to work so ask them to.

[Dierdre]

I had the same problem sitting 8 hours a day at my desk. For a few years I had a medical doughnut to sit on, people assumed it was for a bad back and i didn't enlighten them. Eventually I had a custom made office chair with padding under each thigh and a gap along the middle of the chair so no pressure on the vulva.
You could improvise this by using folded towels under each thigh.  Use alot more Estriol on the outside until you are more comfotable. I've been retired a couple of years now so no longer a problem.

[Ayesha]

All I can add is that the treatment can take up to a year to be able to feel no symptoms at all and that's with no side effects from the oestrogen, sitting down for such long periods won't help the situation.
Make up a back problem, you don't have to disclose something so personal to work colleagues and do as suggested above.

[CLKD]

It may have been the fillers/packaging of the product rather than the active ingredient.  If U have found a regime that works, then stick to it.  U R doing the right things to ease symptoms.

If U don't want to discuss with your colleagues as suggested the low back pain is a good idea.  Is there a Nurse on site at all, Companies employing more than a certain number of staff should have one . 

The other option is to take the collague into a private room and ask "Have U heard of Vaginal Atrophy because it's quite a painful difficult condition to treat initially".  There is a very good book written by a member of the Forum: "Me and My Menopausal Vagina" which should be available on Amazon.  This should be read by every medic B4 they qualify ;-).

Let us know how you get on.  When symptoms nip I swallow 2 Nurofen 3 times that day. 

[Sparkle]

Thank you all for your support & suggestions, I really appreciate them.

I work in a large open plan office, with a 50/50 split of male/females, most a lot younger than me.  The Directors & Ceo's are in glass offices around the circumference of the office.  A standing desk is such a good idea, It's just mortifying that I might have to bring attention to myself if I ask for a standing desk & everyone else in the office is sat down.  I need to get some strength from somewhere to deal with this ....

[CLKD]

Be the 1 to lead?  It mayB that other workers are suffering various aches and pains but don't feel able to speak out?  U could open the conversation around the water cooler ....... "I've read a lot about these standing work stations, does any1 have any info or knowledge about how they might help low back pain for example". 

We are also allowed a certain amount of time away from screens too ........ not many are aware of that either.

Is there a Nurse on site?

[Sparkle]

Thanks CLKD, no we don't have a nurse.
We do have a HR lady though.

[CLKD]

That could B your first step.  R U able to e-mail to make an appt 'about a sensitive personal issue'?

[AngCho]

I have a Putnams vulva cushion that has a pear shaped hole in it. It is covered in black stretchy fabric so that you would never know. it is very discreet and works quite well for me.
 https://putnams.co.uk/products/vulva-pressure-relief-cushion

[Sparkle]

Thanks ladies,
Yes, I can email HR for an appointment.  I think my manager (female) would probably prefer me to go direct to her though, we're quite a small team.

I will look into that cushion, it's similar to a 'homemade version' I've tried to make for myself a few weeks ago using a foam cushion insert which I cut out in the middle & black velvet cushion cover

[CLKD]

Good Luck!

[Floo36]

You may need estriol cream or gel for the bladder and outside area. I use vagifem or Vagirux daily but still need gel or cream because the pessary only treats my internal dryness not the bladder and outside.  I’m still peri so not even mono yet so don’t know what will be needed in meno.