Just needed to come back to get out my feelings.
Today I feel utter overwhelm. Total and utter overwhelm.
These new peri symptoms (blocked painful ears, infection and gum issues) aswell as a recent family bereavement, have sent me over the edge.
I'm bedridden with an already awful illness (M.E) and dealing with peri now is just too much. I try so hard to cope with it all...as each horrid symptom arrives....
I'm a very strong girl. I've had chronic ill health for 30 years and half of that bedridden.
I cope with it all ...I'm proud of myself for coping with all this....
But the last few weeks I've really started to dread waking up to face it all... I know blocked painful ears and infection...isn't the end if the world but its really distressing and too much now. When I lie down to rest or lie on my side, the pressure builds in my ears, I think it the draining of the eustation tubes? I suffered with this over the years but now its hormones making it worse, I feel powerless to it....the drying up of my membranes is making things I suffered with before...much worse now and I've had enough.
.....I'm literally thinking 'the symptoms just are relentless. I think it can't get worse and it does' I'm dreading my future, I dread every day...
I used to have somewhat quality of life before all this...........since I got covid in Feb then perimenopause....my quality of life, my ability, mobility, capability has all gone.
I'm doing all I can. I have all the help I can get. I'm not doing HRT I have my reasons so don't worry suggesting it.
All I wanted to do here is get off my chest that I'm struggling to see any future that's not just full of feeling awful and not myself anymore.
I'm sure some of you will relate? I just feel it's hard enough being bedridden and ill already without all this. I can't just nip for a walk, or meet my friends ..I have no life.
I feel completely out of control of my own body now, at the mercy of menopause and my body has been through enough in its life....I feel I cannot do anything as its out of my hands now I'm at this age...
Anyway. There's nothing more anyone can do medically before you ask.
Just needed to vent as my partner has enough to worry about
Thanks for listening xxxx