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Author Topic: The breakdown thread  (Read 10229 times)

KaraShannon

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #15 on: June 26, 2023, 03:30:20 PM »

Sorry to hear others are going through it.  When I'm home tonight I will respond x
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SarahT

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #16 on: June 26, 2023, 06:46:29 PM »

Nas,  I never thought I would have a stalker! Nice that it's you, my rollercoaster companion.

How are you doing after a such a bad bad time last week. Any joys with your g.p getting things going forward ??

Am indeed doing my physio, trying to stage the need for painkillers or worse in the future. It is known that can come in cycles, and at least right now I can move freely, more discomfort than pain. And as we all know that's a bonus in the mix of everything else😂

Xx
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SarahT

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #17 on: June 26, 2023, 06:51:19 PM »

And Kara,

You are always amazing to take time out to respond to others. With all you are dealing with, just remember not to pressure yourself too much. Take some time for you. I for one need a chance to rant on here, and I  hate the thought of you pushing yourself to respond, grateful though I always am. It's wonderful you care and try to boost is when we need it most...just saying - take care of you too. Xx
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KaraShannon

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #18 on: June 27, 2023, 12:18:55 PM »

Hormonal upheaval can be awful.  HRT isn't always a cure but may well help with some symptoms.

I am OK if I keep to a routine and don't book anything too far ahead. Unless I can book along with DH but not make any firm plans : i.e. going to a funeral or as later this year, to an Event in my family village where I haven't been for years  ::).  B&B booked but I will simply turn up!

Change throws me: I either deal on adrenaline and flop after, or simply can't cope.  It doesn't take much 4 me to stop eating  :'(

I'm the same atm, adrenaline and flop after, or can't cope.  I am trying to observe it all to see what keeps me stable and what doesn't.  I don't think the health anxiety is helping, I think that's a biggie.  Especially because I won't go to the doctor atm, it's just another stress, so not good.  I'm working on it.  I've got a tooth infection again now, I need to see dentist but it's another thing in a long list of things to do.  Hopefully I will get it under control today, it's a recurring one and especially if under stress, but the underlying issue needs treating of course. 

Good if hubby understands things and can arrange stuff and you just have to turn up.  Although I get how stressful even that can be.
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KaraShannon

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #19 on: June 27, 2023, 12:34:13 PM »

Thank you Kara

I am pleased that you have a positive outlook on your move, it's just the upheaval of it all right now. It is unbelievably stressful to move, even if you are staying where you want to be. And having professional cleaners in is a great idea. One tiny thing you can tick off.

But I don't know if it is a mix of getting older, hormonal or just our personalities but I hate change. It just makes me so nervous.my self confidence in many aspects of life has just taken a right nose dive. I used to cope well even in stressful situations, but right now it's all just piling up and I feel ready to crack it I get not by one more thing.

Am considering speaking to drs. I was on an AD which I weaned my self off a year ago, and the reason I am reluctant to go back on them is I am certain I am this way due to peri. So if I am on the right hrt, I should surely fell better than I do? More able to cope and not feel so ' flat ' and nervous and breaking down in stressy situations?

But of a quandry. Needs thinking about as am not sure I am depressed as such and do not want AD's unnecessarily.

Ah well. Having a quite day today. Much needed.

Take care Kara,

Sarah T, I'm inclined to agree with you that if you think this is peri, then last thing you want is AD's.  It's not treating the cause.  I'm not a professional though and sometimes AD's are thought to give the brain a 'break,' so might still be beneficial.  But I remember so many downsides from going down that route when I was younger and mostly wouldn't need now.  I prefer to talk it through, isolate whatever is causing the stress, find a way to deal with it etc.  But I know they are important to take sometimes.

I'm the same, used to be able to deal with a lot more stress than now.  Part of what's bothering me is my health doesn't seem good, in the last 2 years I seem quite wobbly on the health front, it doesn't take a lot to knock me.  At the moment I've got a tooth infection, it's a recurring one and it's only started up because of the stress of moving.  There were additional things to deal with over and above the usual.  Due to health anxiety I won't go to the doctor about it, he'll only tell me to go to the dentist, the dentist will prescribe antibiotics which I won't take unless absolutely necessary because I'm pretty phobic about upset stomachs (sounds stupid but things like that seem to really bring me down).  Neither doctor or dentist want to talk about this problem, neither have the 'bedside manner' that past professionals did who were always able to help.  Anyway, it boils down to me having a lot of green tea, vitamin c, garlic, echinacea and brushing etc, and hoping I can catch it.  I'm also not sure if I've had covid in the past week, because feeling under the weather generally.  When I feel physically strong my mind is a bit better.

Sarah, I don't know if this would help but can you get a calendar and 'organise' the next couple of months to keep a lot of stuff off your plate, and then in that time have a look at your HRT?  What hrt are you taking?  Have you had a blood test for estradiol and progesterone levels.  I want to have a testosterone test also, I'm pretty sure that's what's lacking in me.  I was always 'stronger' physically and emotionally.  I did have my weaknesses, but not across the board like this.

I'm trying to have a quiet-ish day today, still got a lot to do but there's no pressure for it to be done today (though better if I do it, lol).  Always here  :)
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KaraShannon

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #20 on: June 27, 2023, 12:59:38 PM »

Is it me or is the weather still really hot.  It's only 21 degrees today but I'm glowing and it's not a temperature.  I don't get hot flushes but I've lowered the estradiol slightly.  Wondering if it's that or is it just hot.   >:(
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CLKD

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #21 on: June 27, 2023, 01:41:02 PM »

17 in our car today and muggy.

ADs treat depression, a few may help with hot flushes.  If 1 is depressed, regardless of causation, appropriate ADs should be prescribed.  Once the depression is controlled a better judgement as to whether HRT is required - some take both. 

When depressed in the 1990s it never crossed my mind that it was hormonal as that 4 me, was totally different. 
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KaraShannon

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #22 on: June 27, 2023, 05:22:00 PM »

17 in our car today and muggy.

ADs treat depression, a few may help with hot flushes.  If 1 is depressed, regardless of causation, appropriate ADs should be prescribed.  Once the depression is controlled a better judgement as to whether HRT is required - some take both. 

When depressed in the 1990s it never crossed my mind that it was hormonal as that 4 me, was totally different.

Yes I think it's the weather after all CLKD, it's more breezy now.  Thank goodness not me and hormones as I'm meant to be reducing estradiol and that would have complicated it.  I think we might get a storm here, which I'm looking forward to, but grateful for the breeze at least.

Yes AD's have their place.  It's definitely what's right for the patient at the end of the day.
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SarahT

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #23 on: June 27, 2023, 06:36:21 PM »

Hiya,

Thanks for replying Kara,

I also agree with CLKD, and many others,  that Ad's do have their place and can be a good support. When I first realised I was peri, the g.p accepted I was reluctant to go on hrt ( old reason, now not relevant). At the time I decided to have CBT, and go onto AD's, sertraline, starting at 50 and increasing to 100. Tbh, I was so ignorant of peri and all the symptoms and even just how hrt could actually help. In Sept, I took myself off the sertraline, and  began hrt.

As my moods and some physical symptoms  have worsened, (my cyclical pms showed awful pmdd symptoms)  I have increased I am currently on mirena coil and 125 strength estradot in the attempt  suppress ovulation and even out my mood swings in particular.

I had blood tests a couple of weeks ago, the oestrogen level was 300. I think this is low for someone on such a high hrt, especially as I genuinely feel so awful. My moods, even away from the run up to ' periods ' as such on coil, can be stupidly scary,very teary, anxiety very wobbly,  I feel fragile. Physically, I am exhausted, my energy levels are pathetic. I have gone down hill quite a lot.

Like you, I am not sure AD's are right for me now, in view of the fact that I am sure this is hormone\hrt related. BUT I have now gone up to 125, though just this week. If this doesn't help what the Hell can I do next???

I need to give this new strength a fair go, but tbh I havent much confidence. Like many, I seem to get a couple of improved weeks then symptoms return. I also asked about testosterone but my g.p kind of blipped over that.

Am in a bit of a mess really. Trying to keep going is a struggle some days.

I understand what you say about trying to have a quiet few weeks, but I am sure my hrt is just not doing enough.?? I mean this cannot be as good as it gets. It is not a fair quality of life. Am not expecting a cure, but more than how I am right now at this stage.

Anyhow, I am fortunate my anxiety is not also health anxiety. Any time must be awful but at peri\meno yours just be intensified so much. The pain of tooth problems are horrible. Like you I do seem to be being hit by quite a few health things all at once. Some days you don't know what to try to heal first! Like yourself I do try to help without extra drugs as much as possible. Am back on the evening primrose oil to help any breast pain and also for my joints. Also ground flax seed for joint pain too. On the bright side my acid reflux is a bit better. Hurrah for small successes!!

Thanks Kara
Look after yourself x
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KaraShannon

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #24 on: July 01, 2023, 12:24:46 PM »

I'll read the thread in a bit.

My mood has seriously tanked.  Not sure what happened.  I'm moving for good on Tuesday, and should be happy.  There was a lot of shouting and noise when I went there the other day, not antisocial, just noise and it's triggered me.  Not sure why though as often it's been quiet and it's probably nothing.  I've just had awful problems where I've been for the last 7 years so I think I'm on hyper alert.

But it's not even that, my mood is just really low.  My best friend has drifted off since the pandemic, gradually, in stages, getting further and further away.  They call when they need emotional support, but seem adamant they are not giving any and I keep taking their calls because it's out of character and out of what we always had in our friendship.  But 3 years has passed and I'm taking calls only to be giving support all the time and no matter how strong the hints are or even direct conversation about how things are, they clam up and won't discuss, have to go, or I'm being silly etc. 

I can deal with that situation, though it's heartbreaking, just the timing is really not brilliant.
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SarahT

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #25 on: July 01, 2023, 06:04:34 PM »

Hi Kara,

As you say you are under so much stress with the imminent move, so any thing is likely to feel intensified right now including noise at your new place. You say yourself that it's mostly ' normal ' noise, but maybe your senses are heightened.
Moving is just an awful time, the you have said yourself that this is a positive move. Only a few more days now and you will be beginning to settle in.

As for you friend, sadly you may be better taking a temporary step backwards? You cannot be expected to give yourself to someone all the time when you have your own struggles. Of course your friend is also having difficulties and it is natural to want to support them..but, is it possible for you rather than use hints to be upfront and say just how bad things are for you? That you love them and will always want to be there for them, but right now you are fragile yourself? Perhaps put it to them that due to your own health, you are concerned you are not in the best place to give them the correct help they need?
Whilst in a bad mental state, it can be a little 'selfish' ( cannot find the right word here)  and by that I mean  as the feelings are so real and severe (  I speak from my own experience here) so your friend may not actually be aware of how hard it is for you as their  own struggles are so bad that they cannot see beyond that.

I hope this evening is more restful for you. Take care of yourself x
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KaraShannon

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #26 on: July 03, 2023, 01:14:51 AM »


I had blood tests a couple of weeks ago, the oestrogen level was 300. I think this is low for someone on such a high hrt, especially as I genuinely feel so awful. My moods, even away from the run up to ' periods ' as such on coil, can be stupidly scary,very teary, anxiety very wobbly,  I feel fragile. Physically, I am exhausted, my energy levels are pathetic. I have gone down hill quite a lot.

Like you, I am not sure AD's are right for me now, in view of the fact that I am sure this is hormone\hrt related. BUT I have now gone up to 125, though just this week. If this doesn't help what the Hell can I do next???


Hi Sarah,

thanks for your reply, I will think through what you've said, but for now I just wanted to address your post (while I'm awake at 2am thanks to my so called friend's behaviour over the phone today).

You've actually brought a question to mind.  I vaguely remember my oestrogen being 300 and the doctor saying it was too high, yet a quick google suggests (at least at quick glance) that it could be a lot higher.  As it is I'm feeling physically better with lowering it, it's stopping my postural hypotension which was severe.  But re you, I am wondering what are the levels really meant to be to be healthy and balanced? 

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time, I have been there and I think it's been when oestrogen is low.  I tend to think we have to get our levels optimised first and then if there are still problems, see if an alternative treatment works better (like a different hrt) and if still problems, then maybe we need something else also, like maybe AD's, etc.

I've taken some st john's wort, just for this week, to take the edge off things, but that's because I'm reacting to change and it's likely to settle down by end of next week, so I don't think it's hormonal.  It is holding my head above water at the moment and that's about it, but I did at least feel it work to do that, so I'm not drowning for now, lol.

What you've described to me reminds me of when my oestrogen was much lower, so I don't know how helpful this is but (if you haven't already) maybe a little bit of research on what the levels could be for someone your age.  I say could be, because a lot of the information will be on what they think it should be, but the body might need more, etc.

Of course you might have researched all this already, but if it's helpful I'll look into it with you.  I know what it's like when struggling, you can't always manage all these things.  I agree with you that it has to be better than this, this can't be as good as it gets.

I'll better get to bed now as it's 2am.  My friend is being obnoxious atm, very different to what I'm used to, so I've found it hard to get to bed, but with cleaners coming in the morning I'd better go.  Talk soon and hope you have a better day x
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KaraShannon

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #27 on: July 03, 2023, 01:24:57 AM »

Sarah T

I'm sure you have looked into this, but if not, have your thyroid levels been tested? 

If not, it might be worth a check because this is another area that can bring on overlapping symptoms with menopause, even for people not in menopause.  I know as I've had thryoid problems since 2000.

I used to get facial flushing and I thought I was in early menopause aged 30, but each time that happened it was that my levels on thyroid hormone were dropping and I just needed an increase in meds.  Anyway just thought I'd mention that as the effects are definitely significant.
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CLKD

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #28 on: July 03, 2023, 08:10:55 AM »

Morning Ladies.

If someone drains you then drop that person.  Friendships may come to a natural ending.  Lives move on, situations alter.  When a job or a person is keeping you awake at night, then it's time to review that situation.

Hormonal upheaval during our menstruating years can be difficult enough to deal with, add The Change to the mix and the body and brain are on alert more often. 

Once you get moved Kara you will feel better, even if there is noise once you find out the causation you can settle.  In our street there is a loud, bossy man who shouts; he can't have a normal conversation even when not angry  >:(.  Because of my childhood background when a voice is raised I cringe and go into survival mode.  Even when it's someone shouting hello down the street, I am immediately on alert  :(.

Did U get the deep cleaning sorted? 
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SarahT

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Re: The breakdown thread
« Reply #29 on: July 03, 2023, 06:31:37 PM »

Hello Kara

First, I wish you well this week with your house move. I hope by the end of this week if not earlier that many of the stresses of the move have passed and you begin to feel settled again. I think you are pretty amazing going through all the health difficulties, friend problems  and a move and get still manage to reply to us on this forum. CLKD maybe right about your friend. Unless their own situation improves it stays a neighbours for You to take on. Maybe just you need a break smoothly are so stressed yourself?

I have indeed got an underactive thyroid, for about 25 years I think, I  tend to have yearly checks but also had one end of last year and my thyroxine was increased to 125. My last blood tests of a couple of weeks ago showed it was on the right level.

I tend to agree with you  that the hrt should be at its best first, so am continuing this regime for a good 2 months further in the hope I improve a lot. I admit to being very wary at the  thought of changing hrt, I cannot go  backwards.  My moods are definitely less severe than even 2 months ago. But I cannot believe that physically this is my optimum. Like yourself I have no disagreement with Ad's, they have helped in the past,but I 100% do not think they  are what I need for now I am feeling.

I have looked into 'normal' ranges for estrogen, and my gp said my levels were ok. You are so right that sometimes  it is hard to fight when we are physically and mentally exhausted. I have had an ongoing difficulty obtaining estradot over an entire year! Something that multiplies my anxiety ever single month. Am not sure I feel strong enough to challenge my g.p about levels. Maybe an initial email would work so  I do not get flustered and keep it concise.

So. My plan. Stay on this dose for two further months. Hope it continues to improve my pms\pmdd and suppresses ovulation. And that my energy levels become more acceptable. Given in on brain fog.

If not, email g.p,  ask about estrogen levels, possibly testosterone, and a referral to a meno clinic. Look at me being all decisive.🙄

Thanks Kara, look after yourself


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