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[Menopausenow79]

Hi

I (43) was diagnosed as menopausal 2 days before my 43rd birthday, looking back some of the symptoms maybe go back 12-18months - hair loss, memory loss, anxiety, low mood, night sweats, broken sleep, low energy, headaches/migraines, pain everywhere & palpitations etc.

After diagnoses I was put on Evorel 25mg which had no effect (I also have Mirena Coil) so since then I’ve gone gradually on to 75mg Evorel & Im now on anti depressants (citalopram 30mg). Anyway yesterday for the first day in a long time I felt positive and almost like it was going to be ok, but today it’s the complete & total opposite.

I know I have to finish the journey but has anyone else had days when maybe this is achievable & others where you just want to crawl under a duvet & forget the world?

Perhaps my expectations are too high my dr told me last week (whilst saying it’s too early after 5 weeks to increase dose on Evorel) that I may just have to live with it. I used to be really active and whilst I try to do as much as I can I can’t do what I used to either.

Any help advice or just solidarity would be appreciated

[Flossieteacake]

I am so sorry you are feeling so low, Menopausenow79. You really are not alone with this. I have found HRT has helped to reduce my joint and bone pain. Localised oestrogen has helped to reduce my VA symptoms. Apart from this I do not feel great. I know we hear about HRT helping women to feel full of energy and like a new person but this is not my experience.

I have found it helpful to take each day as it comes as looking into the future is too overwhelming. You have been on HRT a year and it can take time to see improvements. You having a good day yesterday is so positive. I know how horrible it is today is a low day but you will continue to have more good days. It sounds like it is still early for you.

If you think back to the symptoms you mention have any of those improved at all?

[Menopausenow79]

Some of them have but some of them haven’t.

It was so kind of you to reply I just feel so lost I know I have to be patient but sometimes I just want to be the old me

[Flossieteacake]

Some of them have but some of them haven’t.

It was so kind of you to reply I just feel so lost I know I have to be patient but sometimes I just want to be the old me

That is understandable. It is hard to feel like a different person. I know how hard it is to be patient especially when feeling low and alone. You really are not alone now that you have found this forum. There will always be a member who can relate or will just listen and support.

Which of the symptoms do you feel have been improved?

[CLKD]

Your GP needs a kick up the A**** ..........    I would ring and ask for a referral to a dedicated NHS menopause Clinic - not a gynaecologist - there are waiting list so the sooner a referral is requested the better; an appt which you can cancel nearer the time if you find a regime that eases symptoms.

Some find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use.  It's The Change - does what it says on the tin  .

R U depressed?  Your GP seems to be clutching at straws!  Although I believe that ADs can ease symptoms so that we can see the wood for the trees, there are so many types of replacement therapy that he/she seems to have stalled or can't be bothered to engage with your needs.

Let us know how you get on.  You may ask the Practice Manager if there is a GP or Nurse Practitioner with a knowledge of menopause treatments and support.

[SarahT]

Hi menopause 79

Just wanted to say hello to you, this forum offers so much support and understanding, welcome to you.

Yes I can totally relate to your massive changes in mood swings, I am just the same. From last week feeling okayish and kind of  able to  cope, I am now back to the anxious wreck, teary, irritable and feeling so vulnerable and scared.

I am trying to learn to accept this is now things are likely to be now. I can no longer to back to being the old me anymore. And I am stupid to compare myself to other women I know who seemed to have an easier ride through menopause. Age 56 and still getting regular periods is no joke.... But I have a positive! Mirena coil has finally stopped my periods. So yay, in all this chaos I can find one positive. A small thing, but it's there.

But on the bad bad days....I reach out to this forum. And so am not alone. And neither are you.

Hugs to all

[sheila99]

The doctor is right, you need to give it the full 3 months. My main symptoms were anxiety and insomnia. I saw no improvement in the first month then very much up and down for the next 2. It wasn't the fourth month I felt consistently well. Perhaps look on yesterday as a positive, it shows you're on the right track. I know how hard it is to be patient when you feel awful, I hope you see continuing improvement.

[Menopausenow79]

It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one feeling like this.

I can only hope things will improve but the highs and lows are truly awful

[ToriiJ]

Hi, I just wanted to say I can also relate.

I keep getting so many lows where I”m so depressed it’s debilitating. I’ve suffered with depression since my twenties and during the menopause it’s hitting me especially hard. I felt awful most of last week and finally over the weekend my mood started to improve, only to wake up this morning and feel terrible again.

Just trying to accept and take a minute at a time.

You are definitely not alone.

[VanillaLover]

Hello,

Just to say that you are not alone! Honest.

It’s rubbish isn’t it. I have been suffering for 2-3 years now (half of that on HRT) and sometimes it feels like I have got precisely nowhere! I can have a good couple of weeks, then a bad couple, or mood and symptoms can flip in the space of a day. I never know what I’m going to get.

I can’t wait for it to settle down. It’s been difficult to accept that sometimes I’m not going to feel good and I’m not going to be able to do everything I used to. Or maybe I’ve always been doing too much and for the wrong reasons? It’s been a time of much introspection too.

It does feel like every other woman is sailing through doesn’t it. You can never really tell what’s going on in peoples lives though remember. I certainly can put a brave face on things and other people can too. You only have to look at the current HRT shortages to realise that many, many women find this a very hard time.

I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that it’s better on the other side
X

[Bandango42]

Hi

I could have written your post myself! I am the same age as you and also started on evorel 25 and have increased to 75 which is what I use at the moment. I also have maybe 3 to 4 good days a month. The rest I feel sad, low, no motivation or energy to do anything. I ache all the time too. My GP also won't let me increase yet to 100 as he says I'm still young and once I get to 100 there's nowhere else to go. I believe this may be it in terms of feeling 'better'. Most physical symptoms are controlled but I feel the mood side of things is just the effect of getting older. I hoped hrt would be a miracle drug but sadly it hasn't been.

You're most definitely not alone x

[Menopausenow79]

Thank you everyone.

The symptoms which have definitely moderated are heart palpitations & hot flushes everything else not so much.

The low mood and just pure exhaustion & headaches are unrelenting. I know I have to wait a bit longer but it just feels hopeless I had a rare day off today and already I’m dreading going back tomorrow just because you spend your time pretending like everything is ok

[SarahT]

But it's not Ok is it?
I hate the few good days that give you what turns out to be false hope when you then crash back down again.

Maybe though, as VanillaLover says, maybe other women around you are doing the same, just pretending they are ok as well? The terrible impact of peri and menopause means that it can wreck havoc in  women's lives and those around them, and has been like a secret for too long.
All I can say to myself on what is yet another bad day is, I have had them before, and no matter how hard and scary these days are, I am not alone. That gives me hope and support.
But I do feel after six months with the continuing ups and downs I may need to up my 50 patch? Are we supposed to just try and live forever with the mood swings? Definitely not the miracle cure I kind of believed in, I had hoped I would be more stable by now?

[Bandango42]

Sarah - everything you say is spot on.

Not sure about you but I miss the old me. The fun me, who loved spending time with friends and shopping etc. I'm pretty much a recluse now and have no interest in seeing anyone but my children (15 & 13 who I have 50% of the time) and my partner.

I'm sad, but I'm also sad to think this is it now 😓

[SarahT]

Bandango,

I feel for you. I too can withdraw into myself a bit. There are some days I want to go without  seeing anyone, if they are nice to me I am too emotional and I know I will cry.
I have a lovely supportive husband, who can be as confused as me as to my moods, what  genuinely helps me is to get outside  whatever the weather and go for a stomping walk, on my own. Thoughts can  then drift in and out my head, I can cry a bit (I am fortunate to live a bit rurally, so no chance  of bumping into anyone if I plan my route).  A bit of me time before bed to stretch and do a little yoga helps me.

Do try to find just a tiny bit of time to do something you enjoy, just for yourself. The first steps are hard, I can easily lose  motivation, but just a tiny tiny step, just for you. Be kind to yourself.

I too miss me, I don't always like this me, but I am trying to accept it, some days better than others, it is hard to find a positive sometimes, being outside is mine.