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[lisa06031510]

Yeah, I am very active these days since my car broke i walk everywhere and my job is very active. Which has helped with the menopause weight.

Do you think the amount of HRT I am is to do with it as well??

I just have so many things I need to do and face but when I sit down to do them I just can't do them.... I'm so used to dealing with things by crying and getting angry them getting over it quick, where as now I can't seem to do that and just ignore things.

I've been put off therapy, I just wanted it so she could help me with this fear of another breakdown, but she just wanted to talk about my childhood and what may of caused the breakdown, but I know it was because of not being on the right amount of HRT

[Katherine]

CKLD, I agree that doing the things you mentioned like exercise and being in the moment but I think Lisa is telling us she wants to really be able to feel and cry again. Crying is the body’s natural way of discharging pent up emotions. And if there is an answer to what she wants (therapy) then why not try it? I believe people know what they deeply want and what they want is valid. If someone is happy as they are that’s great but I think Lisa wants more…

[Flossieteacake]

In my experience. talking about childhood is very helpful with therapy as there may be things we are not aware of from our childhood that are effecting us now. With therapy some people think you just have it once and that is it. It can take many attempts over a number of years for it to be of help.

I do not think HRT is making you feel numb. You have experienced trauma and it is likely your brain is protecting yourself from feeling unwanted emotions as it is so painful for you.

[Katherine]

Hi Lisa I’ve just seen your last post. I think it all lies with choosing the right type of therapy if you have it. From what you’ve said earlier, you want to be able to feel and process your emotions so much, and therapists that look to the past and do in depth work like that are your best bet for that in my opinion. But you have to want to do it and I think you would like to focus on the present and future more, in which case CBT might be more appropriate. You might need to try different things to find what works for you. I can tell you what worked for me but then I followed what I really wanted to do. Your HRT will be affecting you I think and may need tweaking too. X

[Katherine]

I agree with Flossieteacake. Therapy can be painful at times, it’s a lot of work but so so worth it when you start to change in the way you want. I agree that HRT will not be causing how you feel, it is likely to be having some influence but I think you are traumatised and therapy could help you. X

[lisa06031510]

Katherine, you are totally right I just want to feel some form of emotions... I mean I'm.glad I've called down a little but I don't feel like me and just want to cry again and not have this block.

If the therapy was just for me to get over this fear then I would try again as I feel bringing stuff up from my past will not help me...I know what caused the breakdown and being on 125mg of HRT now, I know another breakdown is unlikely for the same reason but I do live in fear that if it happens again I won't be strong enough to get through it this time. Or I just need a PA to deal with the stuff I can't lol

I honestly feel like a complete different person