Rosie, you sound v similar to where I was a while back. I am in a totally normal place now and long may it last! I've always suffered from constipation and I've totally got everything sorted now.
As a first-off I'd eliminate all gluten and cow's dairy from your diet - just because it is so frequently a cause of problems and it's pretty easy to cut those things out. You can still have sheep and goat's dairy. You could try just that for a couple of weeks so you see what effect it has.
I highly recommend a supplement called Optifibre which is totally natural - it's partially hydrolysed guar gum. It's completely tasteless and you can just add a scoop of it to any drink (including coffee or tea). You really can't taste it. You can take it long-term. And two doses of that a day is great. It's not just providing you with fibre but it's also a prebiotic which will long term feed the good bacteria in your gut and address the root cause.
Make sure you take magnesium as that is really good for gut motility - 400mg daily.
And then create a super-food breakfast which you're just going to eat routinely every day. So that no matter what you eat the rest of the day, you've eaten enough fibre with that alone. I eat something which most people will think is completely disgusting
but I'm sure people could work with the base of it: 1 tablespoon of chia seeds, 1.5 tablespoons of ground flaxseed, a very large serving spoon of sheep or goat yoghurt, a splash of goat milk, a bit of honey to taste, a sprinkling of nuts on top, and some frozen berries, a banana and 5 prunes
(I also add in vitamin C powder, a half teaspoon of chlorella and a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar!)
Even if I eat zero fibre the rest of the day, I will poo for Britain with that lot. But the trick is to eat it for breakfast and never to deviate or let up... or the constipation will seize you in its iron grip again
And yes, I have a history of piles and a fissure due to constipation earlier in life.
Lastly, get hormones balanced. If you don't have enough estrogen (naturally or from HRT) your gut will likely be sluggish...
If all that doesn't work, you can try following a low FODMAP diet whilst still continuing gluten and cow dairy free - loads of info online about how to do that.
