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[JoJo42]

I’m suffering with out of control anxiety.

I don’t think it’s just meno-related, although I suppose it partly could be  related to the way all the meno/health issues have happened out of the blue - the worry of symptoms, having to learn about it all and then adapt to/learn to live with different things. Like, for instance, the V.A - not knowing what it was at first, all the worry about it, the pain, then starting the treatment and then learning how to cope with it, and then later - finding out about “flare-ups” and having to research and learn and work out what to do. Exhausting.

Anyway, I think the anxiety is probably more related to family issues - unexpected deaths in the family and then issues with my abusive mother. Anyway, all of this has probably contributed to the anxiety issue and I find myself every day taking another ridiculous, small worry and driving it in my head all the way to catastrophe! It runs away with me and I don’t know how to reel it back in. I don’t want to see the doctor as that sends my anxiety supersonic anyway as I know of I go the GP they’ll probably start trying to stop my hrt as that has happened before and I’m exhausted and basically can't be arsed with all their malarkey.

Anyone got any tips?   JJ xxx

[Flossieteacake]

It sounds like you have such a lot going on Jo Jo. I know how overwhelming anxiety can be. Would you ever consider therapy? Some people really benefit from talking things through or learning different techniques to deal with anxiety.

If you wanted to try Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, you can find free courses online.

[JoJo42]

Thanks for your reply Flossieteacake. I just googled free cbt and didn’t realise it was possible to do an NHS online, self-referral for therapy without going through the GP! I never knew that was possible. I think that would be perfect dor me and my situation I think. I’m going to have another read and fill the form in online.

Thanks so much for the advice xx

[Flossieteacake]

You are so welcome. 

[QueenofReds3]

Hi JoJo
Sorry to hear you are suffering from anxiety, it is a symptom that I have had for years even on HRT.
I self referred on the NHS and I was signed up for the silver cloud online therapy. Italk is another self referral online therapy you can have a look at. Calm app is a good app but you do have to pay. I find walking in the morning helps, a couple of years ago I got my pupper, without him I would stay in bed and ruminate and not want to face the world, he is what makes me get up and out, apart from my job. I know a dog is not the answer for everyone obviously and I still get bad days. Mine stems from a abusive mother but I have a loving family now and have to remind myself it is not my fault she was like that with me. Sending warm hugs.xxx

[JoJo42]

Thanks so much for your reply and advice QueenofReds3, I’ve just signed up for the Silver Cloud therapy. I walk every morning too - with my lovely pupper. I thinks it’s the only time I do feel calm. We go to a park and stop coffee at the cafe there. Like you, I think she helps to get me out of bed and keep me going. I think I need to be more like her - she had a big op a month ago, but soon bounced back into living in the moment. Sorry you had issues too with an abusive mother. It’s very hard to come to terms with. I don’t have any contact with her now, but every so often one of her “flying monkeys” will try to contact me. It’s all very weird. Lovely to hear that you have a loving family now xxx

[CLKD]

Anxiety can be caused by many issues.  In the 1990s I was prescribed 'valium' 5mg 3 times a day for a month.  When I needed to be admitted for my own safety, I was told to take more 'valium'.  Eventually I took it the evening B4 an event that I was unable to avoid, knowing that I could take another 5mg the next day which I never required.

I've found rescue remedy mouth spray helpful, as does relaxation therapy.  I have tapes - remember those ?   

My GP prescribed an emergency as necessary med., otherwise I am in a corner curled up wishing that I was dead  .  It works, either knocks me right out or sedates me enough to enable me to relax.

Walking can certainly help as can swimming. 

[JoJo42]

Thanks for the reply CLKD. I forgot all about rescue remedy!! I’ve used that in the past and will get some tomorrow. That’s a great idea. I want to avoid valium if I can, but will have to see how it goes.

Tapes! Hehe! I do remember them…winding them with a pencil! I’ll have a look on my ipad for some relaxation apps. Everything always points back to breathing and being aware if breath, but it’s something I always, always forget when I’m in the grip of a spiralling anxiety.

Thanks for the tips xxx

[CLKD]

I was advised to practice with the tapes so that the body was ready for the 'fight/flight' when anxiety rose.  Yeah.  Right, not 

It was finding time to listen to the tapes, once I had sat down and  was on my lap, we slept. 

[Lynda07]

Hi JoJo42

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering and as a fellow anxiety sufferer, I really feel for you.

My anxiety almost took over at the back end of last year/beginning of this. I don't recall ever feeling as bad. I  couldn't get face to face counselling on the NHS for a long time and didn't feel I could wait so I started looking at other options.

I discovered Claire Weekes and listened to some of her YouTube vidoes - she is dead now sadly but a lot of what she said and wrote (she also wrote books) resonated with me. I am also reading a book by Drew Linsalata called The Anxious Truth - that, his podcasts (not that I've listened to them all) and to some extent his Facebook page have helped me. And despite never getting on with meditation, I found the Balance app (which might still be free for a year) so good that I paid for lifetime membership.

I've suffered with anxiety, OCD and health anxiety since I was a child and had almost given up - I still have really bad days but the Claire Weekes/Drew Linsalata methods are helping me. Of course everyone is different but I thought I'd offer my tips.
Lynda x

[JoJo42]

Thank you so much for your reply Lynda07 and your advice. I’ll have a look at all those sources you mention. I feel like anxiety is taking over. I’ve also developed what I think might be kind of OCD related issues. I have M.E/chronic fatigue and a while ago I was so exhausted I turned the tap on left it running and flooded the kitchen when the bowl overflowed - it was so bad it tripped the electricity out in the house. I have also left the gas ring on on the cooker! This unnerved me so much I started checking things constantly and then checking and rechecking because I got to the point where I didn’t trust the checks I was making. It takes me ages to get out of the house now. I’m not sure if this is a type of ocd.

Thanks for the tips xx

[CLKD]

WHOOOOA - yep, OCD can present itself as you experience.  When stressed I tend to wash hands more often.  Now that I am aware of what triggers that, I make a list of when I should wash hands and tick off - as well as noting how often I go to the tap when it isn't necessary.

MayB you could do that beside the cooker, sink etc..  It might take a few days for the habit to form, i.e. checking that you have switched off taps by ticking the sheet by the sink.  ?? worth a try ?? 

[JoJo42]

definitely worth a try CLKD. Thanks for the idea. I think I’ve lost control of the M.E as well so the fatigue is worse than ever because I’ve been pushing myself and trying to do too much and I’ve hit a wall. I think fatigue feeds everything else and ramps up the anxiety. I think I’m going to have a few days at home, taking it easy and pacing myself better. xxx

[ATB]

You’ve received lots of great advice already, for me therapy was essential and lots offer online video sessions so after the NHS CBT you could find a therapist in an area that’s cheaper- mine is £35 an hour which is good.

I also like this YouTube channel a lot:
https://youtu.be/MK0rESk_oW0

Best of luck.

[JoJo42]

Thanks so much ATB. This forum has helped me so much through the years with advice. Thanks for your input - really appreciate it.  It’s great to know what other people do to help. I’ll have a look at the link now. xxx