Hi MrsRoo, it frustrates me this is still happening with doctors, I suffered as you are doing for a year or so on just a couple of doses a week of vagifem before seeing a gynae who sorted out my prescriptions. I'm now on 5 a week vagifem, everyday if needed and every night with Ovestin, I couldn't manage on any less and still sometimes have flare ups. Dermovate helps when I'm really sore externally, used short term its fast healing makes it easier to apply the ovestin without it stinging and burning, when your so sore everything you apply burns. Yes water based helps with the dryness and Bepanthen is also soothing externally. You just have to throw everything at this to manage it. The main ingredient to manage VA is estrogen, all the other stuff helps but you need to replace the estrogen with whatever dosage it takes. If your doctor wont prescibe what you need ask for a referral.
I know it's expensive but you can also buy online with Superdrug, I did this once when I didnt have enough vagifem to take on holiday. It's an online consultation and then Ovestin or Vagifem (cost me £40) delivered to your address. This could supplement your dose until you get something sorted with your doctor. Hope you get some relief soon, I've had VA for 7 years now, it does take a while to sort out but you will get there.
Just an after thought have you been checked for an uti or thrush?