Lida - I have just read all of your posts (I’ve not logged on for a couple of weeks) and the same happened to me, 2 years ago, as soon as I turned 51. I could not sleep at all, there was no sleep in me, which I couldn’t understand at the time and I was terrified. The reason for me, looking back, was that I needed HRT which I got from the doctor. It started to work after about 6 weeks, the problem was, I was beyond hysterical and could not calm down from severe anxiety and then was put on the occasional Zopiclone to sleep and the occasional diazepam. The problem was, that although these drugs helped temporarily, the fact that they were addictive drove my anxiety through the roof. I was put on various AD’s and saw a psychiatrist and thought I was going mad and beyond repair. Like you, I had a life previously and suddenly I was put on psychiatric medication and thought it was the end. I could not relax, was in fight or flight all the time and started to feel that I could not cope with my life. Everything came crashing in on me. I was given Mirtazipine eventually and started, very slowly to sleep, but it has taken a while. The other thing that helped, when I could eventually get hold of it, and thinks this was the missing link was testosterone gel, just a small blob daily.
I am two years down the line and although I still have anxiety and things are far from perfect, I am a lot better than I was back then. I can relate to all that you are saying so please believe that things will improve, especially when your oestrogen levels go up and stabilise from the HRT. I understand about husbands not understanding, if only they knew what we have to go through. It may well be that the Quetiapine does not agree with you and is causing anxiety itself. I am no expert although I was given it and only took one dose which caused a burning feeling on my insides so stopped immediately. The problem is, they give you different sets of medication and you get to a stage where you don’t know what works and what doesn’t. I am sorry that i don’t have answers but I understand how you feel like a drug addict as I did, I was tried out on about 4 or 5 different antidepressants which were a disaster until I found Mirtazipine. Everyone is different, is the citalopram working for you, how long have you been on this? The problem is that HRT is not at instant fix at a time when you so desperately need it so solve the problems, it takes time but should start to work. Please keep posting, you are not alone, I and many have been where you are and you will get better. Just need to level out your hormones with the HRT and find the right AD. Sending much love to you, thoughts and hugs x
