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[Nas]

Hello everyone
I just wanted to say thank you  for all your kind words these last couple  of days. Yesterday I felt like I was in the pit of despair. Last night my body didn’t stop shaking and the knots in my stomach just hurt, truly awful. I dragged myself out of bed and went to work. No one was any the wiser of my hell.

This as you rightly say vintage is a hormonal situation. I am not usually depressed or particulars anxious. My oestrogen levels are low i know. The 88 reading was end of July. The 75 patch isn’t being absorbed properly, neither is the 100 ( tried last year several times but couldn’t tolerate)

Somehow I must have dropped to an all time zero yesterday as I couldn’t put one foot in front the other and had to talk myself through my daily shower routine this morning ( and almost forgot my teeth!!). I was very scared by yesterday. I can’t remember words or engage in any lengthy conversations face to face, just  haven’t the strength.

I’m going to ring the GP later and request that mirtazapine Gnatty, so Thankyou for reminding me of what is available. I have got the sertraline out but I’m going for the mirtazapine for definite now. I have to have some breathing space whilst I try to sort the Hrt out. I can’t do it without any other drug I don’t think.

I don’t really have any people to discuss the nitty gritty of this with. My mum and best  friend are both on Hrt and have been fine on a very low dose for years. No issues at all.

Vintage, I’m glad the mirtazapine has worked well for your friend, but totally understand why you would be reluctant to undo your good work now. I guess you need to weigh up the benefits against the negatives at the end of the day? Hrt doesn’t just instantly fix all issues I’ve learned! The drugs are there for a reason, I get that now. It’s such a hard journey to navigate, but definitely I need breathing space whilst I work this jigsaw out.

Michelle, how are you today? Xx

Suzy, Thankyou so much for asking how I am today. Made a day at work
( surprisingly !) no idea how!

Vintage and Gnatty, such wise and supportive words, Thankyou.

Time to ring the GP now.

🌸🌸🌸 xx

 

[Gnatty]

Good luck and let us know how you get on. We will be with you all the time, step by step. X

[Gilla999]

Glad to hear you're a little calmer today Nas, I have been thinking of you!

Mirtazapine is well tolerated by most people and is more of a calming AD than Sertraline - it lowers your Cortisol initially which when you get stuck in panic / fight or flight mode is a big bonus. I have always found it to be very calming and theraputic. When I started off at 15mg it did take me a few weeks to get used to the side effects, but these absolutely go once your body is used to it. I also know people who also start on 15mg with no problems at all. Let us know how you get on xx

[Nas]

Thanks Gilla,
Ive got an appointment for 2 weeks time with a good GP. Im hoping to be able to hang on a bit longer!

I really want this drug now and hope she will prescribe. The calming effect is absolutely what is needed asap, my poor body last night, just shaking was scary.

Thanks for thinking of me Gilla, i really appreciate it. Sometimes i wish we could all meet to say 'Hi and thankyou' in real life ☺

Take care and thanks again all x x

[Suzysheep]

I’m so glad to hear from you Nas…… and well done for ringing the dr.

Keep us posted on how you are xxx

[Nas]

Will do Suzy, thankyou so much x x

[Michelle7474]

Hi Nas
Good to hear from you , I’m sorry you had a bad day yesturday but today you won … you went to work and won

Hope your GP prescribes what you want and I hope you get back to your normal
Self real soon

My day as been ok .. jittery on and off but generally it’s been fine ..

Tomorrow Nas you will go to work and win again

It’s awful when you have to remind yourself a routine .. I always sound like I’m chatting to my self because I say it out loud lol
I always used to be the person that remembered everything
Now people tell me things .. I’m like write it down 😂😂 because i will maybe remember it next year not tomorrow.

I hope tomorrow will be a good day for you Nas xxx

[KarineT]

Hi Gnaty,

Were you suffering from anxiety before the menopause,? 

I've always been sensitive to hormonal changes and I used to get anxious on or around my periods.  I am now postmenopausal and, although the anxiety is mild to moderate, I always get this horrible feeling that it's lurking in the background to strike. It's not nice at all.

[Nas]

I’m glad your day has been okay Michelle, it’s a step the right direction!
I’m really hoping the GP prescribes too. I’ve never taken any kind of anti d or similar but I feel like I need to reign it back in and take control. Yesterday scared the pants off me and I don’t want to experience that again, ever!

I think you sound brighter too and I hope you go from strength to strength in due course.

Xx

[Gnatty]

Hi KarineT. It's a long story. I think I probably have always been a worrier particularly re health. Then five years ago I had severe anxiety went on Sertraline for about three years. Then started HRT a few months after, but still perimenopausal. Then this year my fibroid had grown to 10 cm so had a total Hysterectomy and ovaries out in June aged 55. 4 weeks after I crashed with the most awful anxiety. Shakes, sweats nausea couldn't do anything, couldn't see how I was ever going to be better/survive. I  suspect it was in part due to the op, plus I was scared of getting Covid having had the op, plus I suspect the HRT wasn't enough once my ovaries were out plus I scared myself looking on hysterectomy forums and imagining all sorts of awful things were going to happen to me. So started Sertraline again but suffered god awful side effects so three weeks after that the gp switched me to Mirtazapine... Have slightly increased my oestrogel and testosterone too but I am under no doubt that it's the mirtazapine that made the most difference. The difference between how I am now and how I was six weeks ago - well you wouldn't believe it's the same person. All the worry sent my husband grey....

[Michelle7474]

I’m glad your day has been okay Michelle, it’s a step the right direction!
I’m really hoping the GP prescribes too. I’ve never taken any kind of anti d or similar but I feel like I need to reign it back in and take control. Yesterday scared the pants off me and I don’t want to experience that again, ever!

I think you sound brighter too and I hope you go from strength to strength in due course.

Xx

Nas you take whatever you need to , I have actually wrote down the name of this particular tablet aswell in case ever I need to take as I would never rule out AD but if I can do without then I will

It’s always been side effects that put me off but I know with these apparently the sides effects are not as bad and at least it’s not gonna increase aniexty like most others do. So that’s a win win

I hope you have better days and I hope you get some relief
I take each day as it comes now Nas  & I’m hoping for better days for us all.

Keep posting Nas and that will help you through the next 2 weeks remember your winning & I totally understand the being scared … I was all the time and even if it was to happen today .. I would be scared .. don’t matter how often you experience it… the feelings are awful and scariest thing
But remember your winning Xx

[KarineT]

Hi Naz,

Sorry to hear that you're having a tough time.  This anxiety business is no fun at all and it's very dreadful. 

Whrn you say 88, do you mean 88 pmol of oestradiol?  If so, you must be postmenopausal with a reading like this.  When I tested mine back in January this year it was 586 pmol.  I am not on HRT though.

I do hope things improve for you but how was it in perimenopause?  Did you get anxiety then?  Do you feel that the anxiety has worsened?

Karine

[Nas]

Hi Karine,
Yes it is awful this anxiety and high cortisol levels.

88pmol yes you are correct, I am very post menopausal.

So, I was aware things were on the change in January 2019. High anxiety and sweats.

 I had gone from 775pmol ( no Hrt) to 117 ( on Hrt for 6 months ) Levels have been low for a long time, even on Hrt. Anxiety has been high for months now. I thought the 75 patch had sorted it, but I’m not absorbing much now.

It all happened very quickly. Within months it seems!

The anxiety does feel worse now. My body didn’t used to shake, my stomach wasn’t in knots at 5 am and I didn’t mind getting out of my bed.

Now it’s very different.

[KarineT]

This is almost impossible to beat Naz.  It looks like for you, the lower the oestrogen level, the more anxious you get.  How long have you been postmenopausal for?  Do you know when your last period was?

[KarineT]

Plus, it's even worse when we are still working.  How are we supposed to cope with this crap at work? Most people don't know  what we are going through.