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[Suzysheep]

MM, I’m so glad to hear things are improving for you! I know it’s been hell.

And Ella, you seem to be having better days too. That’s great.


I’m still struggling with the anxiety, especially in the morning. It’s like I can’t stay still… unbearable.
I’ve got an appointment with a private consultant on the 14 th….. I’m hoping he will point me in the direction of a miracle cure!

[EllaAurora]

MM, I’m so glad to hear things are improving for you! I know it’s been hell.

And Ella, you seem to be having better days too. That’s great.


I’m still struggling with the anxiety, especially in the morning. It’s like I can’t stay still… unbearable.
I’ve got an appointment with a private consultant on the 14 th….. I’m hoping he will point me in the direction of a miracle cure!

Hi Suzy, sorry to hear it continues to be difficult. Hormone related anxiety is the worst of symptoms and so difficult to cope with I could not have imagined feeling like that before, and it's so difficult to also explain to anyone else (except to us in the forum of course).

But it sounds like it eases at least a bit for you later in the day doesn't it? That is already a good thing, at least to get a few more peaceful hours in the day. Maybe that's the first signal that you are slowly improving?

Very good that you will speak to the consultant soon. I recall you were off HRT now, but would you considering starting again? It could have been just the regime which did not suit you, and something else could work better.

Hope you'll have a good and peaceful afternoon and evening today! xxx

[Mindfulmoomins]

Hi Ella,

Yes, I had a feeling I felt better very slowly and gradually and then one Sunday I woke up and I felt like my brain was working again. I felt like me. I wept at the sheer relief of feeling like that again and the beauty or feeling normal. I have been feeling better since then with some crying spells in between when I think of how awful I felt xxx

[Floo36]

It’s great to hear that you are feeling better, long may it continue. 

[Suzysheep]

MM, I’m so glad to hear things are improving for you! I know it’s been hell.

And Ella, you seem to be having better days too. That’s great.


I’m still struggling with the anxiety, especially in the morning. It’s like I can’t stay still… unbearable.
I’ve got an appointment with a private consultant on the 14 th….. I’m hoping he will point me in the direction of a miracle cure!

Hi Suzy, sorry to hear it continues to be difficult. Hormone related anxiety is the worst of symptoms and so difficult to cope with I could not have imagined feeling like that before, and it's so difficult to also explain to anyone else (except to us in the forum of course).

But it sounds like it eases at least a bit for you later in the day doesn't it? That is already a good thing, at least to get a few more peaceful hours in the day. Maybe that's the first signal that you are slowly improving?

Very good that you will speak to the consultant soon. I recall you were off HRT now, but would you considering starting again? It could have been just the regime which did not suit you, and something else could work better.

Hope you'll have a good and peaceful afternoon and evening today! xxx

Yes, it really is the pits! I’m vomiting every morning with it.. I feel such a state. I’m so glad I found this forum.

I’m open to anything he suggests.. I can’t carry on like this x

[EllaAurora]

Hi Ella,

Yes, I had a feeling I felt better very slowly and gradually and then one Sunday I woke up and I felt like my brain was working again. I felt like me. I wept at the sheer relief of feeling like that again and the beauty or feeling normal. I have been feeling better since then with some crying spells in between when I think of how awful I felt xxx

So happy for you MM! I can only imagine how wonderful it must feel after all those months of suffering to finally have that feeling of normalcy again. Such an important message of hope also for us, who are still struggling.

It seems that my joy of getting better was, after all, premature (exactly what I was fearing).  Yesterday has again been a very difficult day and even some physical symptoms which I thought were long gone, reappeared (fast heart beat, sweats). I've had a horrible headache since Thursday and last night didn't really sleep at all. Its just so difficult to accept that after already feeling better, I'm again a complete mess, and I'm so worried what will follow.
 
The worst is that I cant think of any reason why this happens and therefore also can't see what I could do to make it better. I suppose the only way is to just accept the suffering again and try to ride out the day, which is so sad -to lose another precious day, not being able to enjoy it.

Sorry for the rant, just needed to let it out. Hope you continue feeling great & keep posting about your progress, is so important to hear some of us are getting better!

[Floo36]

Ella it’s awful but it’s your own hormones that rise and you think that you have cracked it with the HRT to then go back downhill again, I’m the same.  Keep going with increasing the gel.

[Mindfulmoomins]

Ella, I understand how horrible it is to feel you are going backwards. The therapist I speak to reminds me I am never going backwards, I am always moving forwards, it just doesn’t always feel like that (or tend to be in direction I had envisaged).

It can be so exhausting navigating it all and also managing the difficult days. I know I got to the stage where I didn’t feel like I had any more resources to cope with further setbacks. Of course, we are women, we have untapped resources but we are human too and it’s hard to hold out hope at times.

I am bewildered by the impact this stage of life has had on my me. It’s tougher than I ever thought possible. I am having many good days and many really good moments now. I am just focusing on healing from the stress of the past 6 months (and two years on and off of homeschooling and working through the pandemic) and taking one day at a time. Self care, connection, exercise, meditation and healthy food (I was doing all this before) help.

I know many people are reluctant to take antidepressants. Me included. I believe they are part of what is giving me breathing space to recover and move forward now.

Thinking of you xx

[Suzysheep]

Hi Ella,

Yes, I had a feeling I felt better very slowly and gradually and then one Sunday I woke up and I felt like my brain was working again. I felt like me. I wept at the sheer relief of feeling like that again and the beauty or feeling normal. I have been feeling better since then with some crying spells in between when I think of how awful I felt xxx

So happy for you MM! I can only imagine how wonderful it must feel after all those months of suffering to finally have that feeling of normalcy again. Such an important message of hope also for us, who are still struggling.

It seems that my joy of getting better was, after all, premature (exactly what I was fearing).  Yesterday has again been a very difficult day and even some physical symptoms which I thought were long gone, reappeared (fast heart beat, sweats). I've had a horrible headache since Thursday and last night didn't really sleep at all. Its just so difficult to accept that after already feeling better, I'm again a complete mess, and I'm so worried what will follow.
 
The worst is that I cant think of any reason why this happens and therefore also can't see what I could do to make it better. I suppose the only way is to just accept the suffering again and try to ride out the day, which is so sad -to lose another precious day, not being able to enjoy it.

Sorry for the rant, just needed to let it out. Hope you continue feeling great & keep posting about your progress, is so important to hear some of us are getting better!

So sorry you are having a difficult day. It’s all the more difficult to cope with when you’ve started to feel better.
I’m sure it’s just a blip, and things will improve again soon xxx

[EllaAurora]

Hi Floo, MM, Suzy,

Thank you so much for your kind messages!

Yesterday morning and noon was feeling really off balance, but thankfully I did improve towards the evening and managed even a dinner out in a nearby cosy restaurant. Last night slept a bit better, still very short sleep with only a few hours but better than previous night and today seems to have started reasonably well too. So I am trying to keep up hope that it was just a blip and I will continue my tiny steps forward.

MM:, I totally agree with what you said about the impact of menopause on our lives. I couldn't have imagined this can happen -yes, I was aware that some ladies get more symptoms and can feel rough at times, but that the impact would be so profound, so overwhelming, I had absolutely no idea.

Suzy, how are you feeling today? You seem to be going through a lot, hopefully symptoms will start easing for you soon!

Wishing you all a peaceful Sunday!

[EllaAurora]

Ella it’s awful but it’s your own hormones that rise and you think that you have cracked it with the HRT to then go back downhill again, I’m the same.  Keep going with increasing the gel.

Hi Floo, I agree this must have something to do with my own hormones in the background as otherwise it doesn't make any sense and maybe my dose is still too low. I'll keep the same now for another week, and then may add a tiny little increase again.

hope you have a good day!xx

[Suzysheep]

Ella,

I feel absolutely awful in the morning… I am jittery and anxious.. my legs are restless and I am constantly heaving… but… by around 3 it seems to switch off and I feel a bit like me again. It’s very odd, and I’m exhausted by it to be honest. I just want my hormones to settle back down.

I’m glad you managed to get out for something to eat… another step forward xxx

[Mindfulmoomins]

Suzy, this sounds so tough and exhausting. Thinking of you xx

[Suzysheep]

It is MM. I’m completely exhausted by it.
I’m two months into the hormone withdrawal now… the thought of another month or two is tough. X