Hi Gilla999, sorry to hear that you are struggling.
You mention that perhaps your circulating oestrogen may be too high and I can certainly attest to the fact that if your oestrogen levels are too high (or too low) this can affect your ability to manage your weight effectively.
My weight gain is no doubt related to the change in hormones that happened as a result of being perimenopausal.
In my mid teens I went on the pill to help combat PMS inc cramping and quite heavy periods. I spent 20 odd years on the combined pill only to be told in my mid 30s that I couldnt have it any more. Within months of stopping it , i gained half a stone and bearing in mind I had not changed anything with the way I ate or my lifestyle. My skin also broke out too and I had what probably is termed adult acne. I tried various Progesterone only Pills (PoP) and products (the coil was the worst and I had gross amount of postulating spots and again weight was not manageable either). I stopped any form of contraceptive but spent about 5 years in the wilderness where I could not lose the weight gained and I would have breakouts in my skin.
FFWD to my early 40s and I was fed up. I had gone back on a low dose combined pill as I had given up smoking and my GP prescribed it as a way for me to manage my by then troublesome skin issue. That part worked and my skin was in control but other aspects of my self just werent right still - I just didnt believe I had to accept feeling and looking so bad. I decided to have one last ditch attempt at getting my body back. I approached a nutritionist who utilised a health nutrition and weight loss programme tailored specific to the individual and it worked. It was brilliant - I lost all of the weight, my skin was healthy and vibrant and I had sooooo much energy. This lasted for just over 2 years but then suddenly, I started noticing changes to my periods - I would get cramping for 2 weeks before having an actual period for 7 days (usually 4) which meant I had 3 weeks in a month of period related issues. I was having trouble managing the weight too and then in early 2020 the weight started to increase weekly - nothing I could do would stop it, even going back to basics with the tailored programme and, I just had relentless period like cramping. I then had confirmation that I was in perimenopause. I was desperate for help with this cramping which painkillers just did not touch. I approached a Dr at the surgery and he said that I would 'just have to get used to it and take painkillers daily' even though I told him they were not helping. I also started to notice many of the other symptoms like memory loss, irritability, anxiousness etc and this was all coupled with me taking on a more senior role and managing a team of employees.
Since then, I have been on a journey to find the right support for me - I cant tolerate oestrogen related hrt at the moment as not only do I appear to at times produce a lot, it goes down the wrong pathways (according to my dutch test) and manifest itself in oestrogen dominant like symptoms. A the moment I take only Utrogestan and I feel ok with that. I recently tried tailored Biest and boy did I have issues and felt awful with PMS like crazy and I thought I was going to have a period (not yet so far) so my body just cant seem to cope with it yet.
My weight just isnt shifting and I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life and as I am petite it is very obvious. I have had to buy new clothes as my job means I have to go on site at times and they are 2 sizes above my average clothes size.

My practitioner says that my oestrogen levels are going down in a zig zag fashion as in the last year alone I have had readings of over 800 (when I was using 1 pump of oestrogel) and as low as <18 (when I paused oestrogel).
The crux of this all is that my practitioner said that as the combined pill puts hormones to sleep, that once I stopped taking them my body needed time to adjust and it seems that essentially the default of my body was imbalanced hormonally anyway and would always have needed some kind of supplementation to balance it. But when peri hit it was the 'perfect storm' with the added stress of jobs, pandemic, coming off the pill in early forties and then shortly after going into peri menopause.

So at the moment, I am trying to get balance of oestrogen vs progesterone and ensure oestrogen levels are sufficient so that I can lose weight. I have had a battery of tests done to try and understand my body more and from this, I should have clarity on how best to approach weight loss.
According to the practitioner I am working with Premenopausal transition is the hardest as hormones vary over time and what suits at one stage may be different to what is needed 6 months down the line which means probably some kind of regular hormone/blood test can be useful to gauge where individual levels are. She also said that the weight issue in menopause is the hardest to manage and least understood by our research to date. But there are people who do manage to lose and maintain weight in this stage of life - I just think keeping abreast of fluctuating individual levels and understanding them is probably key here
