Hi Kathleen, can't advise on relaxing as it's something seemingly alien to my system

but I do have some tricks for getting myself off to sleep.
One is to count backwards from 500 - a nice mindless but mind occupying thing to do that stops any errant thoughts and poses a simple distraction - usually works, but not always.
Another is from meditation - focusing on different parts of my body in a systematic way (similar to above in that it's distracting) but not trying to relax them. I find though that this one can get uncomfortable sometimes if parts of my body are protesting about pain or tiredness or not generally feeling ok.
In the same vein I'll lie as still as I can, not moving anything and keeping the breathing really shallow - again forces the mind to focus, but is actually quite relaxing.
Other non-mind related tricks - I make the room as dark as possible - light always wakes me up, and if I'm sleeping badly even light noises wake me up, so I put in earplugs - they allow me to sleep literally like a log.
Failing all else, I take sleeping pills for as long as I think I need to - I'm lucky in that I don't need to increase the dose to get the same effect night after night, and don't usually have problems coming off them. Having said that, with vertigo for the last four years I haven't risked taking sleeping pills so have had to rely on the above tricks instead.
I really hope you can find some way of relaxing and getting enough sleep - it's bad enough having problems that keep you awake, without adding to them with lack of sleep. Hugs to you xxxx
LL