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[CLKD]

That depends on who my sister's father might be   

I do wonder if in Mum's case it was for survival.  Sister, brother, 11 months later she was born, 4 years later a brother.  She was the 1 to leave home and get a job away.  The others stayed around the village where they were raised.

A form of control within a large family which became a habit  - not enough is known about the condition as it's difficult to diagnose. 

[CLKD]

There are several threads mentioning narsacistic mothers on the Forum. 

It took me years to realise as stated in 'My Mum' thread which is long and involved  basically she took up with another man 14 months after Dad died, a few years later when he was embedded, she began to moan to me about him in exactly the same ways as she did about Dad.  For years I've had flashbacks and realise more and more that it was her goading that made him fly into rages. 

[getting_old]

I hadn't seen this thread before so thank you for bumping it. I totally understand a lot of what you said, as I too have people I would like to say sorry to. For 18 years my mother brainwashed me into thinking she was the perfect person. She controlled everything I did, and it took a long time for me to stop being what she created. There are times when I say or do what she trained me to do, but I recognise it and take a step back and behave like a decent person instead.
Interestingly as a young child I knew her way was wrong, and sometimes said things that showed that, and those are my earliest memories. Unfortunately those comments meant she increased her control and brainwashing so as a teenager I was what she wanted me to be. Now I celebrate being the complete opposite to her.
I'm sure there are many reasons why mothers behave as they do. In my case my mother was a spoilt only child whose mother positively encouraged her to be the person she was. In return my mother claimed she'd had the perfect childhood with the perfect mother!

[CLKD]

Many in the animal world chase their children away  .  Even chimps have an often violent heirachial system  . 

We noticed at Easter that Mum was in a spiral of control because she pretended to be asleep but kept looking up at me ......... I didn't engage, DH told me after.  Pulled the wool over many a professional's eyes over the years.