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[Gilla999]

Just thought I would share this story... I've had many "below par" experiences with GPs since all this began for me a year ago, but yesterday was by far the worst. After receiving a super high estrogen level result through a finger prick blood test, I can't get an appointment with my gynae for another two weeks, so unsure what to do I called the GP. He could not have been worse - spoke in a loud, oppressive voice, interrupted me constantly after I'd only said about 5 words and accused me (I quote) "of running around getting blood tests and being stupid".

I'm fully aware that it's better to treat on symptoms and not test results, but because I'm new to HRT (and youngish at 42), and most importantly because I've been experiencing high estrogen symptoms of sever weight gain and constipation since I started taking it 6 weeks ago, I wanted to at least see what they said and knew full well I wouldn't be able to get this through my GP. And my gynae who I trust very much has not been anti blood tests completely - they can be a useful add on. I didn't get a chance to explain any of this however because he would not let me speak and just shouted me down.

The language "running around and being stupid" is so belittling, and had a very strong underlying vibe of "silly emotional woman" to it. I got off the phone and burst straight into tears, part in anger and part in shock! I've now written a complaint to the surgery about him.

How are some GPs allowed to get away with behaving like this?! I know they are super under pressure at the moment, but that doesn't make it ok!

[jaypo]

Sadly it's all too common,Drs,generally don't like you doing things without their say so and I can understand to a point but when you're menopausal,you need someone understanding to talk to and still some Drs aren't very sympathetic to women with meno.Hopefully there will be a day when ALL Drs have to learn about this,my own GP said to me when I asked about a meno symptom ,that I'd probably get more information on this forum than from him as I quote ....he didn't know much about menopause,great huh?

[CLKD]

Have a lookC at the Daisy web-site designed to help those in 'early' menopause.

Find out where you nearest menopause clinic is and ring to get an appt..  GPs get edgy when patients do it themselves ........ instead of listening and finding out what the real problem might be.

Let us know how you get on.  Keep a mood/symptom/food diary too. [I may have said already  ]

[menomope]

Hi Gilla999
I think thats an apalling way for a GP to speak to a patient.
I used to be a teacher and would never have spoken to a child or parent like that . I think you have a right to complain so good for you.
I hope you get a reply that resolves the situation to your satisfaction
As if going through the menopause early is not daunting enough without having to deal with insensitive clinicians- definitely makes things worse. It puts us off ringing up for advice or speaking to a GP which is never a good situation.

[CLKD]

Do U have a Solicitor, if so I would lodge a copy of the letter with a brief history 'for reference only' with him/her.

[EllaAurora]

This is just horrible and I totally sympathise!

It does seem sometimes that doctors are sensitive to patients taking their own initiative, especially if it's something that they've declined to do initially. I guess they may take it as some kind of sign of lack of confidence on their ability, while it's just patient being worried and wanting to do something to understand what's going on, like in your case.

Take care and hopefully you'll get this situation sorted out with another doctor with normal manners!! xx

[Gilla999]

Thanks all for your kind words. I agree - GPs in particular (in my experience) seem not to like it when you either take the initiative, quote a specialist consultant you're seeing, or dare to quote some knowledge they haven't heard of! Obviously not all GPs are like this, but this man yesterday was truly awful - he had such a belittling manner. Instead of enquiring why I felt the need to get my own blood test and what was going on, his approach instead was just to shout me down and and tell me I'm "running about being stupid"! I know GPs are under so much pressure at the moment, but I still don't think that makes it ok. Does anyone else feel like they're constantly battling the "silly/emotional little woman" narrative over all this? I've never really experienced it in my life before - never particularly been vocal about women's rights etc - but my eyes have been truly opened over everything to do with the menopause!

[menomope]

 Does anyone else feel like they're constantly battling the "silly/emotional little woman" narrative over all this?

Yep!

[CLKD]

Fortunately we have a very good Practice with great support.  My GP has a wife of similar age to me so mayB ........ he diagnosed my VA for example.

But what he said, regardless of what has happened in his working day!  Sometimes I have needed to make a 2nd appt. due to not getting the answer I need or expect, because he may have been up all night with a dying patient etc..  Usually works ;-).

[Machair]

Where do you live and could you possibly afford a private consultant?
This is the route I have taken and I have travelled to London.
I know it is expensive but the consultation is worth it and is reasonable.
I didn't use it for HRT but for other reasons but the care was so good and I have now got peace of mind.
You may only need one appointment.

I used to be an NHS nurse and I am afraid I no longer trust a lot of the NHS and am horrified by things happening today. Your experience is exactly what I am afraid is happening all over the country.

[Postmeno3]

Does anyone else feel like they're constantly battling the "silly/emotional little woman" narrative over all this?

Yep!

Yep, all too frequently!