People on the autism spectrum are finding lockdown, the changes/lack of routine and absence of predictability forced upon them excruciatingly difficult. I wonder if there's some value in trying to see his "verbal abuse" as coming from the sheer terror he will be experiencing? He hasn't the emotional repertoire of neurotypicals to appropriate his language or behaviour. You might want to read some of the Tony Atwood material on AS and there are forums for parents and sufferers alike to feel supported by folk experiencing the same fears. Have a Google. Everyone is fearful in your situation, it seems? So, how to kind of recognise that and respond to it appropriately? Change is just so destructive in AS and you are where he feels he can invest what little understanding and rationality he has, far less coping capability. This is how he demonstrates trust from his limited toolbox. However, there are boundaries required. Rules. This is important because consequences are generally not understood in ASDs. Try not to match his anger and frustration with yours. Instead, diffuse and divert the challenging situations with, "This is not okay. I'll talk to you when you can be calm." Walk away. Keep doing it. Gradually, he will start to see the consequences. Above all, show minimal emotion yourself. If you don't, you are feeding his fears and he will try harder and harder to feel less afraid by continuing to look for reactions as some kind of feedback he understands? Meanwhile, LOOK AFTER YOU!!!!! Do whatever it takes to indulge yourself. Lock yourself in the bathroom and have a long bath, saying you will be available again in e.g. 30 minutes. Be very specific about how long things are going to last in this never-ending void we're all in just now. Anti-depressants might be your first port of call, though bear in mind they take a while to work, so act quickly if you feel this is the short-term solution you need. They will give you a less reactive space to be in, perhaps? I hope at least some of the above is helpful and do-able. Baby steps! Good luck!
💚