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[Baby]

I am currently on lenzetto just going into my fourth week. Taking 3 pumps a day.  I have had a few really good days but most are crap. I have all the major symptoms most days and it is destroying me. Some days the palpitations  and panic do not stop. I take propranolol but it doesn't help also antidepressants but they do not help. This has been going on since Feb last year. This is my fourth type of HRT. Have spoken with menopause clinics but what can they say except to increase dosage. I have noticed really major mood swings on this HRT. Like this morning about 9.30 I felt completely normal then about an hour later my mood plummeted. I just want to run away from it all. I feel like I have the flu. I try to rest in the day but the anxiety is overwhelming. I am eating four large meals a day because I have lost so much weight with the stress on my body. I just hate waking up every morning knowing I have to go through it all again.

[CLKD]

Have you been offered an anti-anxiety medication? I think we had this conversation a few days ago ........ 

Propranolol helped me enormously, 40mg at night for several years, the idea being it eases any anxiety surges. 

What difference have you noticed with 3 pumps?  Did you put the product name into the search box to see what popped up, if other ladies have experience it might give you ideas.  Replacement doesn't kick in for a while ...........

Have you had a thyroid function blood test recently?  I think I mentioned that when I was prescribed tamoxifen I felt like I had 'flu within 36 hours of swallowing the first tablet  .  Awful.

[DS68]

Hi
I was going to start by saying I felt the same not long ago. But I know that won't really help you right now, but the reason I wanted to say that was because although I'm relatively new to understanding menopause or peri Meno or whatever we call it,  I have noticed myself how I did slip from one mood to the next quite rapidly which added to my fear that I was losing control.  I went very low, losing weight etc and I felt real fear and adrenaline from the moment I woke.
So hard to explain to gp,nurse or even family - i almost felt detached from everything for a while, which then makes us worry we have gone mad.  I was extremely scared.  I think (although not sure) that I was a mess for around a year. A real mess , not functioning well at all. I didn't even want to carry on.

My reason for telling you this is because it did level out eventually.  But that year felt like a life time - actually didn't want to get our of bed. Never felt anything like it in my life - terrified me.
Anti depressants were ongoing for me and I tried a few hrt combinations. I've found the and tabs are working for me.

 I still have anxious days & moments which seem to come and go in sync with my periods which are still regular. But I feel after such a bad year I have learnt to accept the feelings which actually makes them weaker in their severity.  Almost like saying ' stuff you, I know what your here for and you can just **"- off' pardon the foul language.  But almost like fighting it and embracing it and seeing it for what it is. Pain in the arse hormones, Meno, anxiety, depression whatever it is !

Please keep on going, it's ok to feel crappy, we all have,do or will.  Be brave and fight it 💪 we are women after all and we have to fight a lot in our lives.
You've got what it takes to continue to search for your balance too. It sometimes just takes time. But you will find it.  Whilst your searching for those better days remember there are many women here with ears and advice.
After hardship comes ease xxx

[Bring me Sunshine]

Baby I am in the same boat as you honestly.  Today I wept all day even rang a safe haven helpline I feel like I am slowly going mad and dying from the bleeding menopause.  I do know that it does get better as it did for me 2018 sadly I blipped again this year end of December and apart from about 2 weeks of me feeling normal I am having the crappiest of times.  I just forced myself out for a run tonight as I dont cry when I run.  I am still working on finding the right mix of hrt and anti depressants and it is so so hard.  But I must go on and so must you as it WILL PASS keep posting and know that you are not alone as there wouldnt be this forum.  It can feel so isolating though and I just want to hide and go back to lockdown and not feel I have to see anyone or fake being interested in anyones conversation.  If the country was on fire I dont think id even flinch such is the numbness I feel.  Dont Give Up looking for answers something will eventually work.xxxx

[CLKD]

We are as humans under intense pressure to conform: work schedules, children, ageing relatives, husbands ........ in the Wild we would curl up and sleep until the feelings passed.  When I was severely depressed I spent hours.  Doing nowt, laying on the sofa feeling that I was wasting time.  Hindsight and knowing that it was my brain trying to heal.  With ADs I gradually improved and I have a dedicated anti-anxiety medication on an as necessary basis which I know works.

4 me it was the 'will it get worse' as I woke each morning.  Despair.   It was safest for me to do very little.

Hard Work    half a day at a time.

[Baby]

Clkd I take 75 mg venlafaxine in the morning and 15mg mirtazapine at night. I take two propranolol a day but it doesn't help. I am scared of taking higher doses because I don't want to take them and be addicted to them when it's my hormones. Today I got up had breakfast showered, took my dog on an hours walk, went for a swim, did a bit of food shopping, walked dog again and only now is the anxiety lifting. My head tells me I can't do anything but I do do things as you can see. So why does my mind keep playing such awful tricks on me.

[Baby]

I am on 25mg thyroxine a day. I had my thyroid tested about a year ago and it was borderline. Since then it has come down. All other bloods come back normal. My weight is an issue. I have to eat A LOT and am struggling to maintain my weight. The doctor says the stress on my body because of the anxiety has caused my weight loss. I am five foot six and eight and a half stone. I

[CLKD]

That's an OK weight with all that's going on.

When I was anorexic I went down to 5st 2lb, C.mas 1972.  For years I ate enough to remain upright.

I found making a list each evening for things I had to do the next day helped, I could tick everything off and see what I had achieved.  Anything not done went onto the next list.

I also found that when I took the dog for a walk and met someone it would lift my spirits, I think it was an adrenaline kick? Add to that the walking gave me fresh air.

[Annies]

Baby, you did well to get out and dog walk etc, that can only help. I can relate to so much of what you describe- being on A.D's, and other anxiety/insomnia meds
. I completely understand your comment about waking up and feeling as though you can't face the day ahead and enduring the samestruggle again. That sickness in the pit of the stomach.. BUT nothing does stay the same forever no matter how interminable it all feels right now. It just doesn't. We are constantly changing - growing older ( ok that bit might suck but out of our control!) tougher and wiser with everything life throws at us. So don't lose heart. I know easier said than done because I frequently do. There is always somethjng/one to live for even if living feels impossible and exhausting at times.
I've found it sometimes helps to make myself identify say 3 things in my life that I'm grateful for and focus on those when feeling super rough.
Exercise- I usually fail miserably to do this regularly but it most definitely is a tonic and effective, immediate stress buster.
And lastly the odd bit of mindfulness, to try and keep those anxious thoughts from working overtime. "Headspace" or "Calm" are both helpful apps.
Hang in there. You're not alone. Xx

[CLKD]

Good idea Annies - take time to sniff the roses ;-)

[jillydoll]

Hi.
Just wanted to say, keep posting, it's good to know your not alone.
I was just the same 5 years ago, I know exactly what your all going through, but don't give up, keep fighting, it took me a while to settle on a hrt regime, which eventually started working for me. It does get better.
Breathe, do breathing exercises, watch something you love, or listen to your favourite music, get out and walk, all this helps getting through each day. I know how hard it is, I really do, listen to your body, and when it's telling you to rest, then rest. Whenever you can. Even for 10 minutes, focus on your breathing, and try to relax.
It's all too much sometimes, but hang on in there, one day, it will get better. I promise you.
We have to keep going, as hard as it is.
I was offered antidepressants, but I knew it was hormonal, and I didn't need antidepressants, doctors are so quick to offer them, and sure enough, the hrt sorted me out.  I'd been on antidepressants for anxiety years ago, obviously, I was in peri meno back then, and they made me so poorly. And I'm sure it was because I didn't actually need them. It was my hormones playing up. 🤷‍♀️ ...
Look after yourselves. xxx

[CLKD]

....... and breath.  Put housework etc on the back burner and sit in shade - focus on flowers, bees, birds, the breeze - it's about re-training the brain.   Not easy. I know.  Been there etc..

half a day at a time

[Baby]

Thank you everyone for your kindness. As you say I know its hormonal because I felt like this when I had PND. I just feel like squirting the whole container of HRT into my skin!

[CLKD]

If U do that tonight, what for tomorrow ;-)

It takes a while for the body to benefit .........

[Baby]

I have been trying for so long though with no real benefit. I was on the gel and utrogestan for six months. I kept upping the dose but no benefit. Now on lenzetto, had a few odd days but feel like nothing is improving.