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[Baby]

Well after feeling so I'll for nine months I am off to see the psychiatrist tomorrow. I have actually felt slightly better the last few days. Dont now if this is because I have increased my gel to 6 pumps or because I have upped my antidepressants. Am on sleeping pills. Panic attacks are terrible in the mornings and when they settle I am petrified of them returning. It's like my mind and body are seperated from each other. Things I just used to do like housework I find really hard. I have had stresses in my life over the last year and have had spells of depression but nothing like this. Some days I have prayed to God to just let me die. Also I feel like I am self harming myself mentally by avoiding doing things that I love. Never had an exciting life but used to love to spend hours reading or doing a jigsaw. Now I have it in my head that I will have a panic attack if I do these things. I just dont now if I am depressed or it's my hormones. I only work two days a week but every week it's a fight to go yet I used to love work and feel guilty I can't work full time any more. Some days I ache all over. Just scared of what every day will bring. Does anyone else feel like they are fighting every day? X

[DS68]

Hi

Most deffinately I can say I have felt the way you explained. It really is so so sad that we women face these issues- many times alone despite having families around - it's a very scarry and issolating time in a woman's life I think.  I know that I have never felt as weak emotionally as I do since I turned 48.  I am a completely different woman and literally only rarely see snipets of my former self.

No-one warned me what menopause may bring with it etc - I actually didn't realise what it was until.after 18 months of what I can only describe  as most confusing emotionally consuming part of my life. Physical symptoms I can understand and find ways of coping or improving however for me it's always been the emotional drain and chaos that ensued. I mean what the heck happened? One minute I'm a competent full time.working mum with some swing in her step - the next I'm a blubbering - fragile - nervous wreck.  And it appeared to happen so quickly ! To the point I can no longer remember when I last felt ' normal' or ' excited' by the future. I'm now a miserable, half empty, doom and gloom type of person I would have run a mile from.

So ....I can relate.
I hope that you find something positive from your appt tmrw.  Would love to know how it goes, and really well done you for taking the steps your taking to get back to being your former self. We have to keep trying 💕

[Bevey]

I can completely empathize with your current state. I never believed that anything could ever be this bad!!! I have had a lot of physical symptoms, but I can cope with those, but the mental symptoms are so debilitating.

The hardest part for me is never knowing how I am going to feel from one moment to the next. On Saturday, I felt so depressed with weird thoughts swirling through my mind. I tried deep breathing, fighting the thoughts, being with the thoughts, but nothing could shift them. Then, I could feel everything trying to lift in the afternoon. By the evening, I was happy having dinner with my partner and then watching a movie. I feel like two totally different people.

Reading women's messages here really helps, though, because it makes me understand that I am not the only one, and it also confirms what I have: the menopause:(

Stay strong, reach out, and know that one day you will be looking at all of this through the rear view mirror.

Hugs,

Bevey xo

[Hotscotgirl]

Hi there,
Omg I cant believe what I'm reading!
I have suffered debilitating depression, anxiety and horrific feelings of dread for the past 2 years.
Also very bad in the morning, feel shaky v down tearfull and nauseous, then the anxious feeling eases off a little after lunchtime and by dinner time I'm almost normal! This is every morning,  I dread waking up.
I had a few months where i felt better then 2 weeks ago it came back and after 3 days of feeling like this I had a bleed.  I'm on everol conti, continuous patches so shouldn't be bleeding and have been on them  for 6 months so dont know if the low anxious feelings are to do with the bleeding starting?
Its lasted a few days v light but wonder if there's a link.
I'm 57 and just now i amconsidering coming off the patches as I cant take feeling like this xx

[CLKD]

Group 

Cortisol - the waking hormone - was my worst enemy.  I would wake around 3.45 a.m. in absolute terror.  Would leap out of bed, get dressed and go downstairs.  Spent hours. Sitting. Staring at 4 walls until the anti-depressant medication kicked in.

You may like to take a note of how you feel for a whole 24 hours to the appt..  Many find keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful.  This may be hormonally linked so HRT adjustments will be useful.  Hopefully this Psychiatrist has knowledge of menopause.  Don't expect too much but do get across how you feel.

The National Association for Pre-Menstrual Syndrome may be helpful too.  As will putting the name of the HRT into the search box on here to see what pops up.  Make notes ;-)