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[Padine]

 I have no libido, it got up and went about 4 years ago, when we moved house and 3 other big life-events occurred. I have been on HRT (Tibolone) with the intention of that helping but that hasn't happened. Had a long chat with Mr.P about this and the main thing is that sex hurts so b****y much, I feel useless and ashamed that we can't just have spontaeneous sex like we used to. My husband is very understanding about it all, says he doesn't mind not having "spontaeneous sex" (intercourse) we can be close in other ways. I know I'm being daft but can't help it.

Then I got thinking the other day - sex has always hurt (but not as much as the burning I've felt for the last 4 years) I've always been a small person (fat and overweight now sadly) and my 2 children were C-section births - could that be responsible for feeling so sore? I did ask my GP (lovely young thing!) she said she didn't know, hadn't ever thought about that. I found some Oestrin (sp?) cream in the cupboard last week and tried using that to help with things (it hadn't worked 2 years ago) but even the using applicator inside was uncomfortable. I've tried Vegifem too but the applicator hurt me. Please don't think I'm a wimp and can't stand much pain, I feel I am the only woman who can't cope like this.

[Padine]

The cream is Ovestin (estriol) how long should I use it before noticing any difference? Thanks

[CLKD]

OK - I haven't had children but have been active with my Husband for over 45 years.  We have to use KY Jelly most times.

VA is the result of lack of oestrogen making the body dry: inside and out.  So the vagina may be affected - the idea is to use VA treatment every night for 2 weeks, if you are sore then a little of the product on the end of a finger several times of day easing it further inside each time.  Relaxing is important.

Have a look-see at the threads for 'yes' and 'sylc' products as these can help too.  Don't despair!

[Padine]

Thanks CLKD, I'll start again. (It's hard looking at things 1/2 full instead of 1/2 empty these days, but I'll try what you suggest)

[Joaniepat]

It is solely lack of oestrogen that causes VA, nothing to do with vaginal births or body size. Many, many women who have had vaginal births, regular sex, etc have VA. Get Jane Lewis's book "Me and my Menopausal Vagina" from Amazon, it will explain everything and what you can do about it. Jane also admins a private Facebook group for VA which is worth joining. (She is Maryjane on here). Perhaps get some YesVM or Sylk and smear some onto the applicator to help ease it in. You can also apply some Ovestin directly onto the labia. VA is for life so will only get worse if left untreated.

Good luck,
JP x

[CLKD]

Always wish to share any worries so that those with experiences can reassure ;-).

[sheila99]

Ask for testosterone for lack of libido. This will probably need a referral to a menopause clinic.

[Dorothy]

I found the applicator agonising - I use my finger.  Whoever thought having a rigid plastic applicator was a good idea for applying a cream prescribed for women who are already feeling sore there...must have been a man who came up with that idea!

[Padine]

Oh, thank goodness Dorothy and Avalon! I thought I was alone in the pain and discomfort! The Vagifem applicator felt like it was ripping the vagina walls off. I was prescribed 2 and used to put 2 in the applicator thing to reduce the discomfort.
               Padine x

[CLKD]

You may find that using a lubricant several times a day to moisten the lips allowing the area to become more supple will allow easier access for the 'vagifem' ;-)

[Dorothy]

Oh, thank goodness Dorothy and Avalon! I thought I was alone in the pain and discomfort! The Vagifem applicator felt like it was ripping the vagina walls off. I was prescribed 2 and used to put 2 in the applicator thing to reduce the discomfort.
               Padine x

Definitely not alone!  I thought I was abnormal for not being able to use it until I asked for help on this forum! 

You may find it difficult even to use a finger if you've been experiencing a lot of pain with the applicator.  I ended up with mild vaginismus from the pain of trying to insert the applicator, but just took it slowly, lots of deep breathing and conscious tensing/relaxing of the muscles and now, as long as I don't rush it, I don't have any problem at all. 

[Whatsupwiththis]

Ditto Dorothy.  I would question if I even had a vagina!  Took many missteps and agony before finally being able to quickly insert and done.  Keep it up ladies you will eventually get there.

[Maryjane]

I have had 3 9lb babies vaginally & the majority of ladies in my VA group have also had vaginal births it's mother nature's last ?gift? to women & very common just not talked about or recognised.