Hi Armadillo
Don't worry - we talk about anything on here and no-one knows who we are in real life, fortunately!
Sorry to hear about your peri-menopausal symptoms and bleeding too.
The thing is - if you are peri-menopausal, it depends how often your natural periods were as to how your body responds to HRT. Let's say you were in late peri-menopause - eg a period every 4 months. Then - adding the gel will cause your womb lining to build up, and also some of your cycle will be pottering along in the background with your own oestrgoen - but not enough to produce ovulation.
So - in this scenario - if you suddenly ovulate (just before the 3 months is up) - you will produce your own progesterone and after this you will get the natural bleed/period - but it could be much heavier than usual because of the extra oestrogen gel you've been using (depending on the dose of course). Even under this scenario (but you won;t know if this is the case) it would be good to take the progesterone as all of the lining might not have come away if it had been thicker than normal due to the extar oestrogen.
If you didn't ovulate during the 3 months on oestrogel only but still got that heavy bleed - then the reason would most likely be due to oestrogen breakthrough bleeding caused by overthickening of the womb lining in the absence of progesterone. In this scenario it would be imperative to take the progesterone in order to shed the rest of the lining.
You should not get spotting on oestrogel at all - any spotting or bleeding on oestrogen only is abnormal bleeding (unless due to a natural period). You would probably know if it was a nartural period as you should have had other sugns - pms, tender boobs, headache etc prior to the bleed maybe?
Also that is really a VERY long cycle and not one that mnost eould recommend - although again if you are on a very low dose of oestrogen it could be OK. A 3 month cycle is the longest that is usually recommended (and that would usually be 12 weeks - with 10 weeks of oestrogen only followed by 2 weeks of progesterone (along with the oestrogen). Looks like your cycle is almost 15 weeks - which would usually be far too long to go without a wuithdrawal bleed ( due to lining build-up). I'm actually very surprised by this prescrption and especially to start a new regime with this.
To answer your questions - well try - I used Cyclogest for almost 4 years when I first started hRT. I did 11 days x 400 mg (2 pessaries) per 28 days. I could never do it twice a day as I've had several children so daytime pessaries are a complete no-no for me - they would just not stay in place

1) I really can't remember about the intimacy during the Cyclo part and I know we were more active in that department back then!!! Quite honestly if you are in the mood just go for it but maybe stick another one in afterwards if the occasion arises just to be on the safe side - i think that's what I used to do. Also with my 400 mg I used to put one in each orifice - I will leave that to your imagination - but note they are pessaries/suppositories. Obviously used as pessaries they reach the destination better - as suppositories they (well more of it) are absorbed systemically but will get to the uterus eventually - just via a different route.
2) Your period should start soon after the first missed prog dose but ideally not before - but if you are peri or your lining has built up it could happen earlier. When you are post-meno the ideal scenario is as above. This time (I'm just on the bleed now) it started just hours after the first missed prog dose (I've changed patches recently) but in the past it was always a couple of days following.
3) I think I answered that question first above.
Incidentally I'm not sure why you have been prescribed Cyclogest as there is a licensed progesterone for use as part of HRT - Utrogestan - which can be used vaginally off-licence or orally (but probably you wouldn't want to take it like this).
I'm sorry to hear you are generally unwell - is this due to menopause? However I would really make sure you try to go to the doctor yoyurself to talk about all of this because s/he is bound to have questions and you will be better placed to answer and discuss the options. Just make an appointment and if you are well enough on the day - then go, if not, cancel andmake another one - or perhps make a couple of appointments in advance if you're able to do this - really so much better if you go? Failing that please do ask for a telephone consultation with yourt doc so that you speak to him/her rather than a proxy (husband) - however lovely and helpful he is!!
Also - not knowing your situation - but have you had other blood tests etc if you have other symptomns - thyroid and such like?
Anyway hope this helps and all the best - do tell us how you get on and hope you settle into a regime that works for you? Apologies if I've rambled on too much and for the typos - would take as long to check it all through!
Hurdity x