Has he mentioned gum disease to you? You need to see a hygienist and try and get the problem under control, Menopause can cause a dry mouth that can put at increased risk of gum disease but menopause isn't a direct cause
I think you should see another dentist, he shouldn't just be pulling teeth without looking into what is going on, do you smoke?
I am truely sorry to hear of the pain you are in, please see someone else.