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[prestige]

I have recently had quite a lot of dental work (i.e. 2 root canals and retreatments), all self inflicted as I had a bad experience when I was young and hence avoided going to the dentist like the plague. Anyway it has all caught up with me now and I'm now using a dentist my husband has had for the past 40 years. I am still in a bit of pain, and hence the anxiety is really kicking in.
I have tried various HRT's but they all make me more anxious and I don't really want to go down the road of SSRI's

My problem is that I don't have a close circle of friends and my work is very male orientated and at least 15 years younger than me. Although hubby tries his level best to sympathise, I really don't have anyone I can really talk to    I don't have any close family nearby and I fell out with my parents awhile ago.

Sorry for the depressing post, I just don't know how to get myself well enough to go out and meet people??

Thanks for reading my post

P

[CLKD]

Get over the dental work first!  It's a huge step after years to return to that Chair!  Is the Dentist aware of your worries?  Mine did a Psychology Degree ;-).  I love him though not keen on that needle!!  I had lots of procedures in recent years with 3 implants which take about 9 months each to complete plus a filling which is bothersome ........ it can be draining: building up to making the appt and actually going and staying  so be kind to yourself!

Do you have any hobbies?  What do you read, watch on TV?  Do you get 'me' time that you can enjoy?

Every journey begins with the 1st step ....... jot down your hobbies etc. and see if any appeal.  I love my garden, bubble bath and good book.  We have a hobbies thread here somewhere, if I remember I'll bounce it 

My go to:  gardening, wild-life, reading, gentle walking; scenery - Ivinghoe Beacon to over-look Aylesebury Vale is lovely and I find it relaxing.  With panic attacks never far away I have to be places that I can escape from people if necessary so theatre is out.  Antiques, jewellery, garden centres; sport on TV [which means nowt else gets done around the house  ] - I can go places now that in the 1990s I thought I would never dare brave.

Could you eventually consider volunteering?  Does your local School need people to help children read?  How about Church/Chapel ........

[CLKD]

People you don't have to see outside of the volunteering ;-).  Lots of places need someone to wield an iron or steam cleaner B4 clothing is put out for sale.

Does your husband do anything that you could join in with?  I spend many an hour watching mine doing sports - cricket, archery, fishing, squash ...... not tempted to join in but there were people to talk to if I wanted or when he is fishing I read, sleep, watch wildlife. 

[racjen]

Prestige, I can really identify with what you're saying - depression and anxiety are very isolating, people who haven't suffered simply can't understand how it feels. I dread going out and meeting acquaintances who ask me how i am, I never know whether to be honest and say 'crap' or just do the usual 'fine thanks, how are you?'' I'm lucky that I have two grown-up daughters still living at home, so if I need to go out one of them usually comes to support me. The trouble is, you gradually lose touch with friends because they assume you'll contact you if you need them, and if you're anything like me you just don't contact people. The one thing I can suggest is singing; it's so popular now there's probably a group of some sort in your area. I find something like that, where you're focussed on an activity rather than having to make random small talk, much easier.

[prestige]

Wow thank you ladies for all your kind responses.

I think you are right CLKD in that I have to get over the dental work first of all. It seems to be an on-going saga in that I have an infected pre-molar that won't clear up, even though its been root canaled 4 times and I have had 3 lots of Antibiotics. I keep turning to Dr Google for more information and in return its just fuelling my health anxiety. I can wake up sometimes around 2am in a total panic, sweating profusely with horrible adrenalin surges. It then takes me ages to calm down and before I know it, its 6am and I need to get up for work.

I'm lucky that I  have an understanding hubby, but even he is getting to the end of his tether. I just wish I could have you all round my kitchen table having a good ole natter. I think that would help me no end 

Thank you Racjen for suggesting singing, I might just have a look at what is available locally.

Once again thank you ladies for taking the time. I really do appreciate it 

[CLKD]

I would opt for removal of that tooth.  Continual ABs aren't helping so there's an underlying problem?  Root canal treatment should work 1st time, one of mine didn't because apparently a very small amount of root couldn't be reached so continued to fester.  I had an implant eventually rather than a 'plate' - too young and vain 

Give yourself a pat on the back, cointnual dental pain can bring us down.  Then the anxiety etc. and ABs can have a huge impact on the body over-all.  Have you taken a probiotic to get the gut lining back into working order?

Singing :-).  I loved it.  I was in the school choir from the age of 7, played the recorder, clarinet and sung in schools.  Competitions, blasé about those  .  It encourages the person to breath correctly as not many fill the whole lung capacity which can = anxiety.  One can mix with others as much as 1 wants to.

Music has the capacity to heal.