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[Nik2502]

Morning

Part of my menopause journey seems to be health anxiety.

A year past Christmas I was in ITU with sepsis and fortunately I came through. However I now have terrible health anxiety.

I can even give myself something by googling the symptoms! 

I'm worried about my health all the time. Every little twinge results in a cancer diagnosis.

Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

Thanks
Nik x

[Robin]

Hi Nik,

You're definitely not alone. I've noticed many posts from people describing what you are.

It's not something that I've experienced (yet 🤞🏻)but we have so many strange menopause symptoms that it's not surprising our minds sometimes go into overdrive about them

I'm sure you will get lots of responses from people feeling the same x

[Nik2502]

Thanks everyone. It just feels such a lonely thing to suffer. I find it really hard to explain to people.
Tell me the symptoms of Ebola and a day later I've got half of them!
I know it's not rational but don't think much of this menopause stuff is! X

[AgathaC]

Health Anxiety. Don't know where to start? I go from one worry to the next. When one subsides (usually after an expensive consultant visit), the next one pops up. It's never ending and exhausting and it has overtaken my life. I drive my husband mad with my constant checking and googling. There is never a simple explanation. It always has to be something absolutely dreadful in my mind. I go in phases from where it's manageable to panic inducing. At a low with it at the moment.

[ElkWarning]

I don't google anything because I terrify the crap out of myself.

I'd also never heard of health anxiety until I found these forums and it was such a relief to know other people felt the same.

But Nik, you had sepsis, and that's major major stuff to go through and come out the other end of.  In some ways it's completely rational that you're extra observant.  To be fair, it sounds as if your anxiety is linked to a traumatic and life-threatening experience and you've just built up unhelpful patterns of behaviour.  Perhaps a short course of counselling to support you re-patterning your responses?

x

[Nik2502]

I do understand that what I went through has made me hyper anxious. I went down for a little op to clear the infection and woke up six days later.
I've had counselling and it helped to a certain degree but I still google every ache or pain and the end result is always cancer. I know it's not healthy and I need to break the cycle xx

[Foxylady]

Hi Nik2502, that sounds awful what you have been through, it is not unusual following an ITU or other traumatic medical experience. It may be you have PTSD following this and some further counselling specific to this may be worthwhile. It seems to be that anxiety goes along with the menopause. I have been diagnosed as peri menopausal following 3 years of tests, trials of different medications and various specialists I felt that I would never have an answer as to why I felt so bad all the time & did get very down and frustrated by it all. I still occasionally think what if it is something else and not the menopause, although it was such a relief when I was listened to and told most likely menopause related as the other options were terrifying.

[racjen]

Weird how this all works isn't it? I have really, really bad generalised anxiety first thing in the morning, which has, over the course of 18 agonising months, spread into most of the rest of my life so I now find it difficult to go out at all, particularly anywhere where I might meet people I know. However, I was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago, went through all the treatments going, and it's probably the one thing in life I don't really worry about. I check my remaining breast regularly, but I don't give the thought of a recurrence more mental space than that, and I certainly don't worry about other illnesses. I think my only way of coping with the reality of my situation is to put that bit in a box and keep the lid firmly shut. And I have had counselling and treatment for PTSD post-cancer, so I don't think it's just that my cancer anxiety is being diverted into a more generalised form....

[AgathaC]

Racjen - I've followed your story. Do you just feel anxious? Is it about everything? Or about nothing in particular?
When I'm not gripped by HA, I tend to get a fixation about something (usually something I can't control) and then my anxiety focusses itself on that. I had OCD badly as a child and I am convinced from experience and what I've read that HA is common (more common?) in people who have a tendency to OCD. Just my thoughts xxx

[racjen]

My anxiety begins every morning with a physical feeling of fear and dread, not based on thoughts at all - it's not about anything, it just builds in my stomach, but once it's taken hold I can think about pretty much anything and it will make me feel more anxious. Then as the day wears on and it subsides I can think about the same things and not feel anxious at all. I had an episode of this when I was peri-menopausal, so before my cancer diagnosis, so that's another thing that makes me feel it's not connected, although for mental health professionals who don't seem to've heard of menopausal anxiety it's a really convenient hook to hand the whole thing on.

[marge]

Welcome to the HA club. Nobody wants to join, but it has lots of members sadly. I can't add anything to what's already been said other than to stress the importance of not Googling, therein lies the road to madness. Keep reading the threads here and you'll see that you're definitely not alone.

[squeaker99]

Hi Ladies. I never gave a moment thought to health or sleep issues before I was 45. Then boom the minutes I started to get Peri symptoms my brain was addicted to that amygdala loop. I worried for two years over mid cycle spotting/swollen glands/shaky fingers/tingling whatevers. Seen around 10 GPs every 3-4 months with latest ailment. Now I fixate on sleep (lack of it), the ultimate daily fladulation.
I feel a huge sense of shame and guilt for putting my family through it. I am sure hormone upheaval on an already anxious , second born mind are at play (historic family issues anyone...?). I actually long for my beloved children to grow up and leave home so they won't have to worry about their anxious, nuts looking mum. How awful is that.

[Nik2502]

Squeaker I totally get what you're saying! My son is 21 and I hate being a mental mum! Wish he didn't have to see the sobbing and anxiety x

[racjen]

I get that too - my daughters are 19 and 22, both still at home and both with mental health problems of their own.  They're having to cope with my extreme menopausal swings, on top of supporting me through breast cancer treatment 3 years ago (I'm a single parent). I feel very guilty and wish I could support them more, but it is what it is - we just have to do the best we can with the situation we're given.

[Blot]

Tbh I can't blame the menopause for my anxiety. I've had it since I was a teenager, but never as bad as it is now.
But I had awful health anxiety a few years ago, hopping from one thing to another constantly. Again never a simple explanation for anything and it would most likely be cancer. There is a history of heart disease in my family but strangely I've never really worried about any heart stuff. I can really sympathise with anyone who has HA, it's no joke. I agree you must have been traumatised Nik after going through what you did.

These days I don't suffer so much with HA, although it's not gone and can appear from time to time. I just worry far far too much about other stuff, and same as Agatha I fixate on something I can not control.

Sorry to hijack this thread but how do you overcome this thing that is so ingrained and part of you? How do you stop imagining the worst outcomes for situations and letting it take over your life?