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[CLKD]

 

Mum said "Oh you don't want to be depressed dear" - no Mum, I don't want to be depressed but I am
Mum said "Don't lead your husband a dance as your Father did me"  - I've learnt in recent years exactly why he 'lead her a dance' 
Mum said "Oh your poor husband" 

When we got engaged: "I suppose I should congratulate you then?" she never did.  I never replied.  She did give us a good engagement party but that of course, is all part of 'the act'.

So we stopped telling her about my medical health.

[Nik2502]

I totally identify with your situation with your mum.
Sadly I lost my Dad in December but he had no clue about my depression - he often said I had nothing to be depressed about. Or pull yourself together. He just didn't get it at all. And sometimes I just wanted a kind word.
I think it's a generational thing x

[Ladybt28]

I am seeing some really ace posts on my facebook pages from something called "The Depression Project".  They are the most honest and realistic things I have ever seen written about depression and anxiety.  Really worth signing up to, not that I actually remember signing up but hey, I must have viewed or clicked on something but I'm glad I did. There are commentary, articles and videos trying to get across what it is really like, that you just can't "snap out of it" and that it is not "attention seeking".    They write it like it really is for suffers and are trying to prevent the stigma and things people say when they have no idea what they are talking about.

It is a generational thing Nik2502 but I also think it is more prevalent in the world we live in today.  I think quite a bit of it is down to society's attitudes and also I think plastics and chemicals, and hormones in our water since the 1960's have played a large part in affecting peoples body chemistry.  Might have me down as tin foil hat loon but things like the pill put homones into the water course and we feed animals more drugs in farming, and put chemicals into our soil - I am pretty sure this is bound to make a difference.  Sometimes "progress" isn't a good thing at all - it's all bound to have an impact on humans in some form.

[CLKD]

Article last week saying that all our rivers have cocaine in ......... off for a paddle 

How do I get to 'the depression project'?

[Ladybt28]

Ha Ha - rivers.....We have "the Lagan" and god knows what's in that!
You go to your facebook home page and type into the Search bar "The Depression Project" - then you will see some posts - click on the title of the first one and it will take you to The Depression Project home page. Under their header will say like - follow -share, click Follow and Voi La!

[CLKD]

 

[racjen]

My dad died very suddenly at the age of 44, leaving my mum to bring up four teenagers aged between 11 and 16 on her own. Horrendous. It has left me with lifelong scars, eating disorder, depression etc. but until very recently Mum insisted that she'd never suffered a day of depression in her life. I remember her drinking heavily in the years after Dad died, and being very volatile emotionally, but in thosue days (early '80s) counselling just wasn't part of the deal. She's now in her early 80s and in the last few years has been suffering quite badly from anxiety and, I suspect, depression, to the extent that she's been on Sertraline for a few years. Myself and all my 3 siblings have suffered from bouts of depression and anxiety throughout our adult lives. I can't help feeling that if my mum had had more support and acknowledgement of her bereavement at the time, it wouldn't have been passed on to the next generation so disastrously.

[CLKD]

There's not enough talked about PNT these days either.  So new mums think that they have to push on ...........

[racjen]

Oh I'm not sure about that CLKD, I hear a lot of stuff on the radio and TV about post-natal depression and even post-natal psychosis - I think health visitors are primed to look out for the symptoms now, especially because it involves not just the welfare of the mother but the baby too. Menopausal mood problems are definitely the poor relation in that respect.

[CLKD]

I spoke to 5 young mums recently whilst waiting for my own GP appt. - it was 'baby day'  - and none of them had been told about PND.  I don't know how often that they had been to the regular appts. though 

[Ladybt28]

In the 50's and 60's Teresa you were more likely to have your grannie or your auntie or cousin or sister or close neighbour on hand to advise and pitch in with a new baby than young mums do today.  Those people were able to take a bit of the pressure off - sort the washing whilst you had 40 winks or go to the shops for you.  Seems nowadays people are very isolated - young people use phones to talk but they don't actually see anyone???  God I sound like my mother!

People talk about support but they often are not physically available as a presence in young mums lives.

[CLKD]

My Dad was offered a support group in the 1960s when he was depressed but he couldn't get out of bed let alone go anywhere 

I was offered group counselling but I didn't want to talk to others, what if I had met someone I knew or worse still, a neighbour in the sessions 

[racjen]

My Dad was offered a support group in the 1960s when he was depressed but he couldn't get out of bed let alone go anywhere 

I was offered group counselling but I didn't want to talk to others, what if I had met someone I knew or worse still, a neighbour in the sessions 

CLKD, the group co-ordinators would've made sure there weren't any members of the group you knew in the outside world - that's part of the professional code of conduct they observe. Group counselling, if conducted well can be very helpful but it is a scary prospect, better not to put more obstacles in peoples' way by being so negative when you know nothing about it.