Hi Michelle.
Your not alone.
I'm the same. If my anxiety is there all the time, like it is sometimes, then it's there ALL the time, and I have to deal with it.
But when it's not, I look forward to going out, for a meal or the cinema and I think everything is fine, but then when I'm out, this kinda panic comes over me, from nowhere,
and it really scares me, and I'm thinking, ‘where the hell has that come from, I'm ok at the mo,' it just comes from nowhere, creeps up on me, and knocks me for six.
It's almost like I've gone out in false pretences. If you know what I mean.
It just appears, even though I'm not thinking anything bad, or worrying about anything.
It's like a little devil is in me, saying, ‘I'll put a stop to all this fun your having!'
I just go quiet, keep myself calm, until it passes. That's all I can do.
But it really has put going out on a back burner, I avoid it if I can, also, it's got nothing to do with meeting people, or talking to people, that's fine, I'll talk to anyone, so why it comes on like that sometimes is beyond me.....
Be kind to yourself, and take everything one little bit at a time....