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[jane980]

Hi all
After over a year of anxiety/health anxiety, peeing blood during my period feeling old, worthless etc etc my periods seem to have stopped for now. I've missed 2 so far which I really don't care about but my HRT has stopped working. I'm having major hot flushes again have zero libido and still having terrible reflux (I'm waiting for endoscopy as I'm now having pain behind my sternum) Anyway, why has it stopped working? I'm on utrogestan and estrogel 2 pumps daily and also take cabergoline for a pituitary tumour called prolactinoma which also reduces the body's own oestrogen.  When I started on HRT my boobs got bigger, I felt sexual, wanted to have sex and now I don't even want to cuddle and even turn my cheek when he goes in for a kiss on the lips. Or could it be a lot to do with the fact that I don't fancy him any more and really don't want to be with him. I'm very confused about why it's all stopped. Do I need testosterone added in? I'm 48 and still want to enjoy a healthy sex life with someone.

[Ladybt28]

jane980 - I know what you mean when my oestrogen dropped I had real problems with the other half. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't muster a sexual thought or feeling if I tried and boy did I try because I love him to death and our sex life has always been good.  I was really sad inside and yet the thought of any contact made me feel yuck!  I had to up my oestrogen and the feelings are back - not as strong as before but at least they are there so its not a chore or impossible like before.  I am 56 and had problems when I went from Peri meno where you have some of your own oestrogen to post when it seemed to drop like a stone.  I discovered that my oestrogen was too low.  I am on 4 pumps oestrogel which is the maximum.
I have also read somewhere that some women don't absorb it very well but you have been on it for some time so I don't think it can be that?

I have asked about testosterone because I have learned on here that it helps with energy and libido but my clinic wont give it until I have been on my current regime for 3 months.  I notice from other ladies posts that GP's don't like to prescribe it without direction from a meno clinic or meno consultant and some GP's wont prescribe at all.  There are loads of posts about testosterone Hurdity is very knowledgeable on this.

[jane980]

Hi
Thanks for the replies. I wasn't having breakthrough bleeding as I was having regular periods up until August this year. I have other stuff going on along with the peri like fibromyalgia which started in 2015 but became really bad last year when health anxiety kicked in and it hasn't really stopped. I've also  never been in a secure relationship, kids dad and other 2 partners turned out to be arses and the guy I've been with 5 years now is nice enough but oh my god it's boring. We don't sit in the same room hardly and I know I don't love him so it makes me wonder if that's why my libido has disappeared completely. I've always had on and off depression since I was a teen and I'm sure it was hormone related so this peri is really not helping. Im sure the docs are fed up with me, they are saying it's the fibromyalgia that's causing everything but I'm sure it's the peri that's causing the Fibro and mood swings. All I can keep thinking is I want to meet someone who I really get on with and actually fancy who has something about themselves and wants to get up and do stuff rather than go to work, eat and watch tv 😶. I think if I'm in a happier place everything else will follow but because I feel too guilty about hurting other people's feelings I always stay in relationships until I'm the one who gets dumped. Sorry this post has turned into a counselling session now 😂. I suppose I'm just so confused.
When it come to testosterone I just think it might help me but my endocrinologist says that it won't get prescribed for obvious reasons. I'm gonna do the email thing to dr currie on payday I think and see what she says...thanks for listening to me and I hope I don't sound like a loon! 💖

[Ladybt28]

Jane980 - see the Fibro - now I'm not saying it's not but what I can tell you is that I got actually diagnosed by a rheumatologist in 2017 after waiting to see him for about a year.  I have had aches and pains all my life and when I was 26 which is donkeys years ago! a doctor told me I have Chronic Fatigue when they used to call it yuppie flue and say it was all in your mind.  Since this meno thing started age 45-47 I have discovered that all my medical problems which no one could solve was down to hormone imbalance!  Since I started to get my oestrogen right the aches and pains have become so much less not gone but on a scale of 1-10 about 3!  I don't have fibromyalgia that's for sure but during peri although I was on hrt my oestrogen was too low and my body ached unbearably and my energy was 0.  My depression started at 13 had PMT, bad period, postnatal depression, anxiety, was on AD's 35/40 years and in and out of the mental health system for counselling and CBT! and now with this meno thing I realise that it was all hormonal!   I gave up the AD's 3 years ago and no more counselling.  Still depressed and anxious but nowhere near how I was.

In hindsight I am angry that so much of my life was miserable and no one picked it up but on the other hand now I know what it is I feel better because I know that somewhere in the hrt system must be something which fixes it to a point where I can live a better life.  I know everyone is different but what I dont want younger people who think they have hormonal issues to believe what the doctors say when they say it is everything BUT Hormonal!  Trust your gut and push as hard as you can to try treatments around the hormonal issues.  You can only try and if it doesnt work well fine but it may just solve all those things
that have been hanging around for years.  If you look up on Proff Studds website about hormonal depression and the other unusual symptoms some women get throughout their lives because of hormonal issues maybe you can get the endocrinologist or the HRT consultant or anyone else you are under to listen.  Especially if you are armed with the right info.

You are defo not a loon - been there done that and got the T shirt!  I am now coming 57 in Jan and I am not wasting another minute of my life thinking the doctors are always right, there are few who accept and understand this type of thing 

[SueLW]

jane980 - I am on 4 pumps oestrogel which is the maximum.

4 pumps of Estrogel isn't the maximum. Some women use 6.  It depends on how well you absorb it and what your hormone levels are.

The original poster is only on 2 pumps and her symptoms have returned.  I would increase to 3 pumps a day first and see what a difference it makes.  If it helps - great.  If not you may need to try 4 pumps.  I had that wonderful plump breast feeling with bouncy happiness on 2 pumps when I initially started the gel.  But it soon went and I was told to start experimenting with more. I am up to 3.5 pumps now and still not got that plump perky feeling back.  I suspect I really am not absorbing well and will need to be a high dose user to get enough into my system.

[Ladybt28]

SueLW - sorry I didn't know you could use 6 pumps.  No one is testing my hormone levels even though I have been to meno clinic, but GP said to up my own dose to 4 and she said that was the max. I am on a bleed cycle so as long as I'm shedding I wonder if I could up mine to 5 or must you do that under supervision?  I agree I think Jane980 should up her oestrogen dose, I think her own levels are dropping which is probably why she doesn't feel as good as she used to. I get sore breasts but I still feel kind of flat on the gel - 6 weeks in and it hasn't got any better still bit depressed and lacking energy.  I had a brief fortnight when I was on Premarin in August where I actually said "I feel Ok" but with the gel that has gone. 

[jane980]

Ladybt28, your life sounds incredibly like mine when it comes to depression and hormones! I got kicked out of school at 15 because every now and then I would kick off with teachers/school, rebel in general and I now believe it was my hormones. I had terrible heavy painful periods and looking back I think I probably kicked off once a month for a few days and no one put 2 and 2 together. I ended up pregnant at 15 also and had a home tutor, them pregnant again at 19. Then came along the pituitary tumour and periods stopped for over 20 years. I went on cabergoline 5 years ago to shrink the tumour and start periods again as I was worried about osteoporosis and also knew I was never going to keep a man in my life as the excess prolactin made my libido zero. It was amazing at first, felt great, confident and attractive but it didn't last long. I'm back to square one but feel worse, lost weight and I was thin anyway, nausea, reflux, depression, mood swings, pain everywhere everyday. I think the docs blame fibromyalgia for too much now. But you are right, my whole life has been governed by my hormones not being right. I'll put myself up to 3 pumps a day I think.