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[Burchers]

Mia Bella  it's like I'm reading posts that I could have written.I have been suffering severely with anxiety since 2016.
I woke up one morning feeling like I couldn't live anymore. I have been battling ever since.
I have no reason to be this way I am now in a rut that I'm anxious about being anxious. I've had lots of therapy and really work hard to function.
I get so worked up about going on holiday to the point of a full panic attack of vomiting.
I just want to live with being conscious of living don't know if I'm making sense.

I feel like my body is out of balance.

Sorry if I've waffled on

[CLKD]

You waffle.   I may have asked but do you take anything to counteract the anxiety?  I have found Rescue Remedy helpful.  But without the emergency emergency med. I wouldn't be here.  Why suffer  .  There is medication out there designed to ease symptoms and because I know it helps me immediately, I never worry about becoming addicted.  After all, the other option cuts out my better days ;-).

[Burchers]

I'm on Mirtazapine 15mg and Propanol 40mg 3 times a day.Im still struggling.

[CLKD]

Are you worse at any particular time of day?  Early mornings until mid-afternoon are my worst.  [should that be worse for me  ]

I take my heaviest load of meds at night to try to avoid that surge first thing.

[Burchers]

Wake up anxious and can feel groggy headed until lunchtime.

[Roseneath]

Hi Burchers. Really associate with your posts. My 'theory' is that we all have a baseline anxiety (I have always been a 'people pleaser', too thin skinned) but we hit an age when it just ramps up and your cortisone/adrenaline kick in all the time with huge peaks sometimes fuelled by stress.  I find that yes the 'gentle' therapies work...when I feel OK...but when not I am not in a state to do anything but panic and head spin.  I am baffled / furious that in an age when we can send people to space our GPs seem clueless as to why so many of us suffer the same symptoms (specifically on the anxiety side).  Surely you could take 1,000 women, track their symptoms, take regular bloods , track those on HRT , those on ADs or nothing. See how the moods and cycles compare.  Or look at Japan where far fewer women are effected vs US/UK and very few take HRT.   How many of us are taking things that have no effect, make things worse or not taking things that could help. I have seen 6 GPs and had 6 different views and prescriptions.  How many marriages go under , jobs are lost or lives taken because the medical profession has no coherent approach to this.  Sorry to rant but I have felt so terrible  the last few days I would have downed any pill a GP would have thrust at me but now just riding it out and sleeping well I feel 100% better.   

[Burchers]

I agree my doctors answer is to increase my AD medication ( which I really don't want to do).It already makes me feel spaced on the minimum dose.I go on holiday on Friday and it's a trigger. Just so fed up of feeling like this.
I'm on strong medication for my colitis to.

[paisley]

I totally understand. Had an awful day today & went out for a family meal which should normally be a happy occasion but for me it was just fueled with anxiety & dread. It got to a point today when I just said to myself I just have to accept it & make the most of the day & it did ease a bit but it is hard.

[Roseneath]

Totally agree Burchers. I was put on Proprananol 40mg twice a day when I had a bad patch of  insomnia fuelled by anxiety. Told to stay on it for 2 months then phoned to check then 2 months more.  Then I saw a younger doctor to get my BP checked after that and he was horrified that I had been taking it every day for so long. Said it was for specific panic attacks or post a distressing period e.g. bereavement  not to be taken every day for months.  Said it would not do anything for the mental side of anxiety (just slows heart rate). So you really never know where you are which is worrying in itself! I do find it slightly takes the ' edge' off anxiety but think it might well be a placebo effect.  Have just ordered some Vitamin D after reading posts on it here - anything worth a try hey.

[Burchers]

I'm already on Vit D,Zinc, Vit C and Vit B12.

I'm on biological treatment called Humira for my colitis. I have to inject myself every 2 weeks. That makes me feel dreadful for a couple of days. I've been on the Propanol for over a year could be coming upto 2 yrs.

[Miabella]

Just reading the latest posts on this thread and I too could have writtten all of them. I am on my last day of a 2 week holiday which I didn't think I would get through, but I have. I think I said before that when my anxiety is bad life feels like an endurance test, and there have certainly been times in the last 2 weeks like that. This forum has been such a great support in getting me through the bad days. It's so comforting to know I'm not the only one who feels this way - only if you have experienced anxiety can you know how truly awful it is.

Thank you all for being here x

[Roseneath]

Mirabella / Birchers - fellow anxiety suffers! Just something I found in the last few days that has (maybe) helped (a little).  A friend suggested CBT for anxiety which works in a different way to breathing/Mindfulness - more distraction and mentally 'removing' the worry. I found the NHS offers a free online CBT course called ' Beating the Blues' which your GP can sign you up for. Phoned yesterday and the GP was very positive about it, said it has a 80% success rate  (but it takes two weeks for me to be ' enrolled in it for some reason - bit like queuing for a new phone line to be connected!!). So yesterday I found a free CBT App called ' 'Pacifica' - set up by a guy who has Anxiety issues - you do a 7 minute free visualisation per day. I found them both excellent. The Day 2 one gets you to visualise (make into real thing) your anxiety (for me it was fear of not sleeping at the moment!) and then you hold it, look at it, sit with it and then realise it is just a small part of your existence/life.   Anyway vs the Mindfullness I found it very different and good for my way of thinking. My fear of sleep is now an angry little slime blob which is mentally on me bedside table but is not with me the whole time! Every little helps eh.  Taking a motor boat out on a loch with family today...will be great or terrible but I will try to keep my anxiety blob firmly back at home. Hugs to you all.

[paisley]

Hi Roseneath
I found that very interesting. My husband has been telling me for a while to try CBT. He hasn't used it before but seen lots of people online who have had very good success with it for anxiety. I am going to give it a go & thanks for the link

[Miabella]

Hi Roseneath,

Definitely sounds worth a look! I will check it out too and report back. Thanks so much for sharing xx

[CLKD]

Roseneath - your GP was very, very wrong  - I have taken Propranolol for years to ease early morning anxiety surges: 80mg x 3 for 3 weeks then 40mg x 2 for several years.  Then I cut it down to 20mg x 2 due to background headaches.  It works for me.  The one thing he/she told you that is correct is that it slows the heart rate which eases those surges.

I'm glad that visualisation works for you.  Hasn't for me but my anxiety began within hours of my being born  and my first panic attack was at age 3.