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[Bassgirl]

Hi,  my name is Lynn and I am 55 years old.  Been post menopausal for over three years. I am in a relationship and my partner is also called Lynn!

My symptoms are depression, anger, hopelessness, no self-worth, weight gain, severe breast pain on right side, hot flushes, crying almost daily and no idea why. I have no energy and never exercise.

I feel like I have been slowly losing control of my sanity, this has got much worse over past couple of months, and I am scared that I am now a totally different person.  I frighten myself.  My partner and I have non-stop arguments over my ‘sulking and moods' and I wake up every day feeling depressed. I have no family and very few friends, but I am now at the point where I want to be alone and leave my partner - we've been in a relationship over 30 years.

I don't want to take HRT, i have been taking Sertraline 100mg daily for about a year, but I don't think they're working. I started taking menopause, which, even after a couple of weeks, I felt a bit better and wasn't so down all the time. But I have had to stop taking them due to a recent diagnosis of Hyperparathyroidism, in simple terms, by parathyroid produces too much calcium.

I work two days per week as a temp, and when I'm there, I am busy so I can cope, but as soon as I'm home, I get depressed. I was looking for a private counsellor who could possibly help, but not sure if it would and wondered if anyone on here has tried counselling before?

Thank you for reading my first ever post - it has taken a while to pluck up the courage to write it.

[Dotty]

I would definitely try hrt. The benefits outweigh the risks.

[Bassgirl]

Hi Dotty,

Thank you for your reply, I was trying desperately to avoid HRT, but I'm that desperate I may have no choice.

[Dotty]

Hi don't worry about taking hrt. I was the same as you and it's given me my life back. All of the studies saying it's dangerous have been proved to be incorrect.

Look at the website of Dr Louise Newson.... mymenopausedoctor.co.uk It will put your mind at rest.

[sheila99]

I felt fairly similar to you for 2 years due to undiagnosed peri. 5 months on HRT and although I still have days when I am very tired I am mostly back to normal and the emotional symptoms have gone. IMO quality of life is everything. I don't think there are health risks now but even if there were I would gladly accept them rather than feel how I did before.  If your partner isn't undestanding perhaps you could point her to the 'advice for husbands' post. Please consider HRT, I'm sure you could feel so much better.

[Wilks]

What Dotty said!

Plus, it might still be worth trying counselling but personally I would try to get it through the NHS. I've had 2 bad experiences trying private counsellors (which cost a lot of money too) but I had a great one through the nhs. In some areas you can even self-refer.

[Lisa1966]

I don't think any of us ladies really wanted to take hrt,but needs must I'm afraid,if you are feeling that bad and possibly ready to lose your partner,you need to reconsider,just give it a go,if it doesn't make you feel better you can just stop

           Lisa x

[jillydoll]

I agree with the other ladies,
Maybe you'll have to bite the bullet because your well being
and the ones you love, is worth much more than the suffering your going through.
Like lisa1966, says, you can always stop it if you don't like it, but it's got to be better
than what your going through now....try it, it might help,
I'm on femoston conti, low dose, and I've found it great, it really helps me.
Your quality of life is worth it......good luck with whatever you decide.

Jd x

[CLKD]

  to both Lynns ..........

Menopause is natural.  But sometimes natural symptoms over-rule our daily lives and can make ladies feel really really ill.  So HRT does what it says on the tin.  H[ormone]R[eplacement]T[herapy].  Have a browse round.  Decide which symptom/s you would like to ease first?

Why did your GP put you on Sertaline?   Maybe print off 'advice for husbands' from here - it gives good ideas for partners as it explains well menopause.  Also, having a buzz word that Lynn can call when leaving the room,  one that is humorous?  May well defuse issues.

No need to take HRT for ever if it isn't necessary but it may help symptoms in the here and now.  Some ladies get such good results that they don't want to stop it