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[Daisydot]

I'm your friend Lisa and life is there for living we all have shitty days I'm having a few right now but you have to learn coping strategies you just don't know what's around the corner,18 months ago I had such a severe head injury on top of all this meno crap that I thought I'd never recover,I couldn't even walk in a straight line but I know life is really precious after losing my mum and sister so you keep going,you find things that improve your quality of life and things that make you get up in the morning,after a lot of physio to re-educate the brain I'm doing very nicely now and slow but sure my confidence is climbing but I take each day and deal with it as it comes and live it in a kind thankful way,you need to get out and make those friends or try putting something back into your community that makes you feel needed there's so many people out there who need you.Your children will move on and rightly so they have wonderful potential ahead of them as every generation does so don't you lag behind ,grab it by the chuckies and find something to enrich your mind.It doesent matter if you don't like yourself but you need to learn to turn things around in a positive way,there's tons to live for Lisa x

[CLKD]

Hey! US!

Friends can be a burden  as can family.   My family expect me to 'conform' - I can't be myself and anything out of routine I have to justify the whys and wherefores.  Friends are OK until something goes wrong in their own Life, I have had several disappear off my radar when they have problems and some haven't stuck around when I was very ill in the 1990s. 

Financial problems can be sorted.  Either via the Bank, I believe that there is assistance at Citizens Advice Bureau, or a Financial Advisor.  Debts can be stretched out if necessary so that 1 pays less each month, a good advisor will tell you how.

Fat and ugly are your perceptions right now.  But from here, it don't matter what you look like 

[SueLW]

It's the hormones talking Lisa.

To me you sound like you have the sort of slump that comes from being keyed up about something important when its over.  You were desperate for your appointment.  But it's been and gone and you have slumped.  It's OK. Tomorrow is another day.  And you have a new regime to work with so that's good news.

Fat and ugly are usually only in our heads.

Get outside into the fresh air and open spaces and look really hard at things.  Look at the grass and plants and trees.  Really look.  There's loads to live for.  You didn't fail your husband with what happened to you.  He failed you.

[Mary G]

Lisa, like the others, I think this is a very positive outcome but at the same time, I really do understand how you feel.  I don't suffer with hormonal depression but over the years and during my many experimentations with HRT, I have found myself feeling extremely flat and every time without exception it has been because my oestrogen levels are way too low.  If you are suffering from reproductive depression, don't underestimate how low you can feel when your oestrogen levels tank.  It will take time for the 4 pumps of gel to take effect but once you get there, you will suddenly feel a lift.

From what I have read on here, your specialist has prescribed the best possible HRT regime for hormonal anxiety and depression but I also know that it takes a while to kick in and that is the difficult part.  Until you get your oestrogen levels high enough to override your cycle, you will feel flat but at least you know what the problem is and can look forward to a light at the end of the tunnel.  Remember how long it took GypsyRoseLee to finally get there?

As I have said before, you have been stuck in the HRT halfway house with only moderate symptom relief but hopefully this will change very soon.  Having a blood test is a excellent way of finding out how well you are absorbing the gel and in your case you will be aiming for a level somewhere in the 800s.

Please don't give up hope.

[paisley]

Lisa
Could you possibly see a counselor provided for by the NHS.
I was feeling like you when I had PND years ago & I found it very useful & helpful to talk to someone on a weekly basis & to air all my frustrations to someone else who doesn't judge you. Xx

[Tempest]

Good advice, Paisley! Whilst estrogen can help to alleviate depression in peri. menopause (Studd et. al. state that this does not appear to be the case in post menopause), it can't replace negative thoughts, expectations or life experiences. Working things through with a counsellor can certainly help that, as a compliment to your HRT regime .

Never be afraid to reach out for all and any help you may need. xxxx

[Lisa1966]

Hi ladies,thank you for being there for me,I am ashamed of myself for posting yesterday,whilst bawling my eyes out,it was a stupid thing to do,I should have kept my feelings to myself. So sorry

        Lisa xx

[Dotty]

Lisa, you did the right thing . Don't feel ashamed. Everyone on here wants to help and we will be here no matter what x

[Lisa1966]

Thank you dotty xx

[Tempest]

Not at all, Lisa! We've all been there - and are still there, a lot of us! Please don't be afraid to reach out. Sending hugs. xxxx

[Wilks]

Hi Lisa,
Hope you're feeling a bit better today? Keep reminding yourself to give it time for the hormone regime to get working, but if you feel like you did a couple of days ago get yourself to the doctor or to A&E. If you want something meaningful in your life, do you feel up to learning something new at an evening class, maybe?
I was in a bad place last autumn and winter, exhausted and suicidal but the change in HRT plus testosterone and an antidepressant gradually got me out of it.
There is hope x

[Hurdity]

On a day that you are feeling better Lisa - why not sit down and write down the things about yourself or your life that you want to improve or change? As the HRT gradually makes you feel better you will feel more like doing things and taking positive steps.

For example if you really are fatter than you would like to be or than is healthy - then have a really good look at your diet, what you are eating and when and try to make very small changes that are manageable - and set yourself small weight loss goals or permanent changes in your eating habits? Write it all down (or on your phone!). We can help if you need any suggestions.

Along with that - not sure what exercise you take but have a think about how active you are and whether you could be more active - keep muscle strnegth up is important when we reach menopause as our metabolism slows, and cardio workouts improve your heart health.

Like Wilks said - are there activities you can do where you can get out and meet people, or voluntary work?

Your appearance - what is bothering you? Try to find something positive about each day or that you plan to do each day that will make you feel good ( I think I might have said that) and make yourself and your face relax and smile if you can. Do you need a more flattering haircut or clothes - charity shops/car boot sales are a great resource if funds are low ( even if they are not!).

These are probably all very obvious but hopefully you can decide to work on something - and once you are feeling happier and more confident about yourself - that is a major step to socialising and feeling confident and happy generally around other people.

Take care and do keep posting - start new threads on specific topics if it will help - as you can see there is always someone around to help and give support and a real wealth of knowledge and tips about all sorts of stuff

Hurdity x

[Lisa1966]

Thank you tempest,wilks and herdity for your kind words and support,I really appreciate it,am so glad I have you to talk to. I am feeling a bit better today. Thank you 😊 xxx

[Daisydot]

Morning Lisa glad your feeling a bit better today,you've got a week of sunshine apparently so that should help to keep your spirits up.enjoy your weekend xx

[Lisa1966]

Thanks daisydot,enjoy your weekend,unfortunately I'm working xx