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[Tiddles]

Morning all

I was posting on another thread ("Losing your looks") about how I don't mind the idea of becoming invisible as I age if it stops people being overly interested in me - something I dislike about living in the countryside where everyone wants to know your business.  And it started me wondering about others' experience.  Has anyone else moved from the town or suburbs to the countryside and found it's not for them?  Did you move back? 

We moved 3.5 hours away from the congested south east a year ago but have decided to move back next year for a number of reasons, the main one being we really miss our nearest and dearest and miss not being able to see them spontaneously.  It always has to be a pre-planned weekend visit and with busy lives - ours and theirs - it's difficult to pull off. We've given it a lot of thought and believe we will regret the time not spent with our nearest and dearest more than we will miss living in the countryside. So we're moving back next year.

We moved in pursuit of the country cottage idyllic lifestyle.  We have the cottage, the countryside, the peace and quiet, the lack of traffic, the slower pace of life but we can't stand the way everyone knows your business, and not because they care or are interested in you as they never follow up on anything you share and ask you how it's going.  They seem to just want to be the first person to have new information that they can pass on.

It's a rural hamlet of 9 houses.  Everyone but us is retired.  We've had people watching what our builders are doing with binoculars from across the field, climbing on step ladders to peer over the fence and see the changes we've made in the back garden, asking my boss at work how I'm getting on and every club I join seems to have someone in it who knows someone in the hamlet so everyone also knows what I do out of work.

They all know the receptionist at the local doctor's surgery in the village and I've heard this receptionist gossiping about other patients' health issues with them!  Fortunately I witnessed this before we'd registered at the surgery in time for us to register at a different one - God knows what they would have made of all my meno symptoms !!!

I recently passed someone in the lane that I barely know who started fingering my hair and said "Oh yes, whatshisname (another neighbour) said you'd changed your hair colour ..."  Honestly, how can that be interesting enough to discuss !

Anyway, it's off topic but an interesting subject (to me anyway!) so just wondered what other people have experienced ? xxx

[Daisydot]

Hell for me too this time around tiddles,all the same story and don't even consider the local pub it was like a hotbed of gossip.The postman knew everything asked what was in your parcels today then it's came all the way from India must be interesting etc.
I honestly couldn't get back to town living quick enough,I can't carry heavy bags so I used to just get a few things daily as it made me go out daily anyway and each time I came back there would be someone lurking with the “oh shopping again “questions.
No it definately wasn't for me I've done it twice over the years and I'm settled where I am now,on the outskirts of the town but five mins in my car to the centre.Ive got great neighbours who respect my privacy but are there if and when we need each other,I also can't stand door knockers who want to sit and drink my tea all invade my space all day so I discourage that wherever I live.x

[Tiddles]

Ahhh thank you Daisydot - makes me feel more normal, knowing I'm not the only one !!! xxx

[littleminnie]

If people weren't nosey and just got on with their lives would you have enjoyed countryside living?
I've thought about it but I think I'd be bored. 

[Daisydot]

No I found it too lonely and I felt isolated both times,I gave it a fair shot but it wasn't for me.
I had a really bad accident and as I lay there on my own it hit me like a ton of bricks,I wasn't near family or hospitals and had to drive like that all down windy country lanes to get medical help,never again.x
I'm not trying to offend anyone if it works for you fabulous but I'm just telling my experience of it.x

[Pennyfarthing]

I imagine it must be rather claustrophobic living in such a tiny hamlet as you describe and that everybody would know your business. We have plenty of little villages like that around here which dont have a pub, shop or anything else.

I live in the country but in a very large village with several shops, businesses, pub, school, nursery school, good bus route etc.  So its quite different.  I know most of the real local people and a few of the people in newer homes which have been built in the last 20 years.

There are tradesmen in our village for every service needed and there are hairdressers, beauticians, therapists etc and apart from clothes we can buy everything in the village if necessary.

The village does care about people.  A young woman had a stillborn son a couple of years ago and the whole village swung into action and raised about £14,000 in a few weeks to donate to Stillbirth and Neonatal Death charity.  Today I'm dogsitting here for a friend who is having chemo.  There is always someone who will help out if needed.  If you walk to the shops or Post Office 99% of people you meet will say hello. The exception is young people who have their earphones in and dont even make eye contact.

I couldnt live in a town personally.  i dont like all the traffic nor the car fumes. 

[Pennyfarthing]

No I found it too lonely and I felt isolated both times,I gave it a fair shot but it wasn't for me.
I had a really bad accident and as I lay there on my own it hit me like a ton of bricks,I wasn't near family or hospitals and had to drive like that all down windy country lanes to get medical help,never again.x
I'm not trying to offend anyone if it works for you fabulous but I'm just telling my experience of it.x

I think that because you live in such a small community.  That wouldnt happen here for sure. There are always people about and they would definitely help.

[Tiddles]

Hi Littleminne.  It's a good point and one hubbby and I have talked about but the main reason for moving is to be back near F&F.  We figure we can go to the country from the town for walks, breaks etc but if we miss out on time with our F&F, we can never get that back and will regret it.

I was supposed to be retiring when we moved here but went back to work within 3 months.  All my working life I've dreamed of being able to retire (like many people) and pursue hobbies and interests then when I did, I realised work gave me far more than just a pay packet and more that I gave it credit for :-) It's all been a big journey of self discovery tbh. But I was totally unprepared for the level of intrusion - I didn't see that coming ! xxx

[Daisydot]

I don't live there now penny and I honestly wouldn't have wanted any of those people near me I moved two weeks after accident,I moved into a retirement community surrounded by countryside again but five minutes in the car to the centre of town and plenty of small local shops around me that I can walk to if I choose to so really I feel I have the best of both worlds now and I'm very happy here.,my neighbours respect each other's privacy but they don't half really round if required as I do.

[Daisydot]

Tiddles I thought you meant Florence and Fred at first ,Asda lol took me a few seconds to work out friends and family,the joys of old age lol.

[Tiddles]

 

[Tiddles]

No I found it too lonely and I felt isolated both times,I gave it a fair shot but it wasn't for me.
I had a really bad accident and as I lay there on my own it hit me like a ton of bricks,I wasn't near family or hospitals and had to drive like that all down windy country lanes to get medical help,never again.x
I'm not trying to offend anyone if it works for you fabulous but I'm just telling my experience of it.x

That must have been horrible Daisydot :-( I'm happy to hear you're happy where you are now :-)

[Hurdity]

Heavens the people in your hamlet must have such boring lives that all they can do is peer into other people's! I have lived in the country for most of my life (and most of this in the SW - except for parts of childhood) and this doesn't seem like the norm to me. I live in a small village ( small than Pennyfarthing's as it doesn't have all the amenities) but people are really freindly and look out for each other. Our cats are always fed when we go away, or garden is watered (vegetables picked too!), when we are out our parcels are taken and then brought round later. I go to fitness classes with my neighbours and people of all ages are friendly towards each other. Maybe it's something to do with SW England - you don't seem to get that sort of petty stuff at all, and people aren't that trivial - in my experience. Neighbours and villagers - both long-standing residents from these parts - and incomers, are genuinely interested in us our lives and how we are, (and others) and never intrusive. I haven't heard this complaint from others in different villages either. I wouldn't swap this lifestyle for anything (except ill health - if I/we needed to be near doctors and facilities in old age)! Great place to live! Just wanting to give a positive view!!

Hurdity x

[Tiddles]

Oh no Hurdity - don't get me wrong - there are many, many lovely things about country life and I have met many lovely people and made 2 good friends I know I will keep when we move.  The reason we're moving is not because of these neighbours, it's the distance from our family.  In many ways I wish I'd grown up here and had my children here and they were nearby, then I would have the best of all possible worlds and we wouldn't be a novelty to the neighbours attracting so much interest :-) And I think the neighbours here are extreme !! But I'm definitely not dissing the countryside per se :-) x

[Mrs Bella]

Morning all

I was posting on another thread ("Losing your looks") about how I don't mind the idea of becoming invisible as I age if it stops people being overly interested in me - something I dislike about living in the countryside where everyone wants to know your business.  And it started me wondering about others' experience.  Has anyone else moved from the town or suburbs to the countryside and found it's not for them?  Did you move back? 

We moved 3.5 hours away from the congested south east a year ago but have decided to move back next year for a number of reasons, the main one being we really miss our nearest and dearest and miss not being able to see them spontaneously.  It always has to be a pre-planned weekend visit and with busy lives - ours and theirs - it's difficult to pull off. We've given it a lot of thought and believe we will regret the time not spent with our nearest and dearest more than we will miss living in the countryside. So we're moving back next year.

We moved in pursuit of the country cottage idyllic lifestyle.  We have the cottage, the countryside, the peace and quiet, the lack of traffic, the slower pace of life but we can't stand the way everyone knows your business, and not because they care or are interested in you as they never follow up on anything you share and ask you how it's going.  They seem to just want to be the first person to have new information that they can pass on.

It's a rural hamlet of 9 houses.  Everyone but us is retired.  We've had people watching what our builders are doing with binoculars from across the field, climbing on step ladders to peer over the fence and see the changes we've made in the back garden, asking my boss at work how I'm getting on and every club I join seems to have someone in it who knows someone in the hamlet so everyone also knows what I do out of work.

They all know the receptionist at the local doctor's surgery in the village and I've heard this receptionist gossiping about other patients' health issues with them!  Fortunately I witnessed this before we'd registered at the surgery in time for us to register at a different one - God knows what they would have made of all my meno symptoms !!!

I recently passed someone in the lane that I barely know who started fingering my hair and said "Oh yes, whatshisname (another neighbour) said you'd changed your hair colour ..."  Honestly, how can that be interesting enough to discuss !

Anyway, it's off topic but an interesting subject (to me anyway!) so just wondered what other people have experienced ? xxx

Hi Tiddles,
I moved from Melbourne to a tiny country town 4 hours drive away. It's not even a town as there is nothing here expect a CFA shed (Country Fire Authority). My husband's family have farmed here since 1856. My kids have 3700 acres to roam around on. It's heaven to me. I hate leaving the farm and going into town that being 35 minutes drive away. Everyone knows my business. What they don't know, they will make up. I can't stand it. I would never move back to Melbourne because we can't shift the farm, but it would be nice to go incognito for awhile.