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[mrs_bella]

Same here paisley,my husband is the only other human who sees the real me,I've been brought up in an environment where I had to be strong and be there for family even as a youngster I had to protect my mother so I didn't dare shed tears,it was a sign of weakness,now I find it difficult to cry for myself but I will cry for simple things I see or people tell me but I have no pity for me as in my mind I shouldn't as there's always someone out there worse off.I think now that's why when I crash I crash badly and isolate myself to deal with it in my own way,it's probably a safety mechanism.Mrs Bella my heart goes out to you what a nasty bunch of bullies and it's natural to say I'd rip them apart but not practical when it comes down to it,it's just something you have to deal with and hopefully they'll tire of it.its so not nice for you though witches.xx

Awwww Daisydot I feel for you. I totally get why you find it hard to cry. At least you have your husband that sees the real you.
I too have a husband that sees the real me. I use to try and fit in with the “mean girls” so that my children and I would be accepted but I have stopped. I stupidly lost my cool with one as she was ringing all the other mums saying my son (12) was racist. Long story, but my son wasn't being racist it was actually the other child calling him names. I actually said, “Get your facts straight, and don't spread rumours about my son”. I used a few swear words as well. I wish I had never said a word as now my son is invited to nothing. I mean nothing...like the only one in his class to not get an invite. So now I smile nicely, say hello and keep walking. I can't win either way.

[mrs_bella]

Mrs Bella, the “mean girls” sound dreadful. Enough to make someone tearful even without menopause issues.
What are the men like?
I was never bullied but there was so much low-level bitchiness at school. I was shocked to see that it continues into adult life, especially in “mum and baby” groups and in the school yard when you take your own kids to school.
I do have some lovely women friends but I spend most of my social time riding bikes with men.

Wilks they are dreadful!
The men are lovely. I prefer to hang out with them at sporting matches. However their wives get shirty. I did have 1 male friend who was also friends with my husband. Well, rumours spread like wildfire that I was having an affair with him. I stay clear of men now as well for this reason so that I can't be gossiped about. How sad is that? I have my husband, 2 boys and a handful of eclectic but real friends. I have come to terms with it and think how blessed I am to have them in my life.

[Kathleen]

Hello mrs_bella.

So sorry to hear that you are having these problems. The women you describe sound awful but you can guarantee that they have their own issues but are trapped and too fearful to escape the group they have created. Perhaps they should be pitied as well as disliked.

The menopause can be a rotten time but you will always find help and support from the lovely ladies on this forum. True friendship comes from many sources and you have many friends here.

Wishing you well.

K.

[CLKD]

This is your problem because they make it so!  However, you have a tight family and a few friends, how many do we actually need?  [long story short].  I nearly shed a tear at the Wedding today 

[paisley]

I agree MrsBella
Those girls sound horrendous. They sound pretty pathetic don't they if all they have got to do is spread vicious rumours around. I think you are quite right sticking to yourself. I wouldn't want to be friends with them. I was bullied when a teenager but I told my mum & she really laid into them. They never did it again. My son was bullied at school so I did what my mum did & confronted the bullies but I can see you living in such a small town it is impossible to do that.

[CLKD]

Is your boy upset not to be asked to parties etc. or does it go over his head?  Is this your worry ....... does he get to ask a friend back to yours at all?  Out of school?

[mrs_bella]

Hello mrs_bella.

So sorry to hear that you are having these problems. The women you describe sound awful but you can guarantee that they have their own issues but are trapped and too fearful to escape the group they have created. Perhaps they should be pitied as well as disliked.

The menopause can be a rotten time but you will always find help and support from the lovely ladies on this forum. True friendship comes from many sources and you have many friends here.

Wishing you well.

K.

As well as feeling disheartened by their behaviour, I also pity them. 1. They actually turn on each other behind one another's backs, and 2. I wonder if they have a tight and support family to return home to like I.
Kathleen, I am so pleased I stumbled across this forum. I have received a tremendous amount of support and advice. It's so refreshing and I am truly grateful. X

[mrs_bella]

Is your boy upset not to be asked to parties etc. or does it go over his head?  Is this your worry ....... does he get to ask a friend back to yours at all?  Out of school?

Well he use to get upset CLKD. I think it hurt him so much that he has shutdown.
The strange thing is that his teachers are always saying how social and popular he is.
After 9 years of being at the same school, we have moved him to another for a fresh start. I ask him regularly if he is happy? Would he like to have someone over? He always replies that he loves his new school, but doesn't want anyone over. Not sure what else I can do.

[mrs_bella]

I agree MrsBella
Those girls sound horrendous. They sound pretty pathetic don't they if all they have got to do is spread vicious rumours around. I think you are quite right sticking to yourself. I wouldn't want to be friends with them. I was bullied when a teenager but I told my mum & she really laid into them. They never did it again. My son was bullied at school so I did what my mum did & confronted the bullies but I can see you living in such a small town it is impossible to do that.

Paisley I did confront one mum when she rang to see what punishment my son had received over an incident that occurred at a footy match. It backfired as he was ostracised even more. Also the parents avoid me like the plague now because I stood up to the ringleader.

[mrs_bella]

This is your problem because they make it so!  However, you have a tight family and a few friends, how many do we actually need?  [long story short].  I nearly shed a tear at the Wedding today 

When Harry had a bit of a cry, I had to reach for the Kleenex box. I love a man that is confident enough to display his feelings. Go Harry!

[CLKD]

If your boy doesn't want to engage, it's better for life.  Too many people can become cloying, trying to please them all.  He will make friends as he goes through Life.  Does he have hobbies.  Do you do stuff as a family?  My neighbour took one of her children out on Sat., she often picks one of them to have a day with.  The rest stay back doing other things.  Gives her 'ear' time with them ;-)

[Emerald2017]

I can relate! When my meno started a year ago I was crying every day, I was feeling suicidal and that my life had no meaning.
I am single and childless. Hrt made a huge difference at my mood and my general energy.
Give more time to yourself to adjust.
 I feel more stable now, I try to focus on my job, to avoid toxic people and not to press myself! I can say that I feel almost like my old self again! Hope it helps!

[Daisydot]

Well done emerald2017 that's good to hear and I hope it continues to be positive for you xx

[Emerald2017]

Thank you Daisydot!
The forum is a wonderful source of communication and it helps a lot!
I think sometimes that I know more about hrt and options than my gyn! I told him for the forum! 😄💐

[Daisydot]

Yes emerald your so right I tell anyone who'll listen lol.Im lost without the forum now I hope it always stays on this same level ,no judging people and no critism just a platform to help and advise from personal experience,that's the secret to the perfect forum in my mind.xx