My twopennies worth - I think I prefer a request for money over a John Lewis gift list. At least with money you can just give £20 if that's all you could afford at the time (I would do this and not feel pressurised into giving what I couldn't afford and if they bitched about me it would say more about them than it would about me ...) whereas with the John Lewis list the stuff on there often costs hundreds and it's embarrassing ...
Most expensive wedding I've ever been to couldn't have seen much change from £45K and that was over 10 years ago. Horse drawn carriages, free champagne from start to finish, fantastic venue, Chelsea Flower show quality flower arrangement so massive you couldn't see round them to talk to the people opposite at the table, professional video and photographs of everyone and every tiny detail all day and evening etc etc etc followed by a honeymoon in some private beachside lodge in a carribean location. The marriage lasted 2 months - I kid you not. The bride's dad who paid for it all must have been suicidal.
Best wedding I've ever been to (apart from my own!) - village hall, morris dancers, fish and chips followed by trifle, flowers from the garden in jam jars on the tables, a home made cake, a wonderful happy day and the couple are still together and happy :-)