Hi all
Things did get better for a while. The last week or so, I was completely symptom free! I have even managed to progress with one of my "dates" and things are going super well in that department.
The Vagifem is working like a dream, absolutely no bladder problems, all comfy "down there"!
So I made an appointment for the doctor to get set up on a repeat prescription, and that appointment was this morning. I have been really happy and relaxed, not anxious about anything at all. I have even started back to the gym in earnest.
So, this morning I woke up, and stomach pains are back!! Not really severe, but defnitely there about where my ribs part in the middle. So, when the doctor asked me, I had totell him. Now he has arranged for me to have an endoscopy, and I am freaking out. A couple of tjhings he said "As you have never had gastritis before" like it is a bad omen, and "given your age!" (56). Now it feels like I have been handed a stomach cancer diagnosis :-(
Its like fate is having a cruel joke... I meet a lovely man and now I have no future
I spent a lot of time this afternoon trying comfort myself with logic and statistics (its a big part of my job, and how my mind works:
1 in 154 women will be diagnosed with SC, so thats .65% by my reckoning, so over a 99% chance I dont have it?
65% of diagnosis are over the age of 65
I don't have any of the known risk factors (overweight, smoker, h.pylori etc, etc)..
I haven't lost weight, my bowels are the same as ever...
I also tried to convince myself that it might be because I used some of the milk that I had left out in the sun all day, or the mozzarella that tasted slightly "off" because the bag had split..
I have no idea how long I will have to wait for the appointment, I didn't ask. I just remember him saying "we can make a case for you to have and endoscopy"
Yesterday, I was as giddy as a schoolgirl, now I'm back to square one. How am I going to cope??
Jeepers xx