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[V29boo]

Hi  I'm hoping someone can throw some light on my confusion about peri and menopause  I don't know where I am and it's driving me mad I don't find the doctors very helpful and don't seem to get any answers . I Was delighted because I got to 11 months without a period and thought oh great I'm nearly there and things haven't been too bad then I had a bleed for about a day  it wasn't really much but does that mean that I have to you start counting again to get to a full 12 month period free?
In  total now I have had almost 16 months but with just that one show. However  over the last few months things have progressively got worse I just feel exhausted all the time totally lost the joy in most things that used to make me so happy I don't get excited I look forward to things anymore feel very weepy very insecure and my family think I am over sensitive and I need to toughen up.
 I have started to have anxiety attacks which I have never had before and the least little thing sends me into a panic .
 My memory is so bad I can't remember what I have done the day before I no longer remember dates if I am put on the spot I will even forget my children's birth dates which is very embarrassing and that really worries me . I
Retired from work early to look after my grandchildren which I love doing although it does make me feel exhausted but to be honest I could no longer do my job properly because of my lack of concentration poor organisation  and forgetfulness when I was in meetings and asked questions I just used to go totally blank and that knocked my confidence a lot .  I don't take anything but I am starting to research the natural remedies I am frightened of weight gain with HRT Although they do say it helps your skin And slows the ageing process because my skin is suffering too it seems to be getting drier and more crepey
by the day sorry this is such an a long post but I am really just reaching out to try and get some support and understanding thank you so much in advance to anyone who will take time to read this. Xx

[Hurdity]

 Hi V29boo

 

Strictly speaking you do have to start counting again yes - but if you do bleed again and you are worried then do consult the doctor. Does it really matter where you are in terms of definition? It's how you feel that is important and that doesn't sound to be very good.....ie you seem to be suffering.

You haven't said how old you are but you do sound like a prime candidate for HRT! I would also go to the doc to get checked out at this point for other conditions eg thyroid problems - which can cause dry skin (and fatigue, weight gain).

Weight gain is not necessary with HRT - I weigh less than I did when peri-menopausal (and have been on HRT for 10 + years) - but this needs a shift in focus - change in diet (permanently) and increase in exercise (permanently) as well as reduction in alcohol consumption. You have to work at it!

Do you also suffer from flushes or sweats - or maybe you take other medication which masks these?

Read up as much as you can using the top tabs - there is such a lot of information on this site, and aks any more questions and we'll see if we can help!

Hurdity x

[V29boo]

Thank you for your reply, I am 57 in january. I do suffer hot flushes and night sweats but they are not my worst symptom and I can cope with them. It's more the anxiety and to be honest I feel pathetic and needy at times I manage to snap out of it for a while then the least thing, like my family excluding me from something which they have a right to do then I feel, rejected, unloved and turn into an emotional wreck.
I am about to start taking A.Vogel menopause support along with magnesium to give this a trial for a month.
I do have a healthy diet however I do enjoy wine and you mentioned cutting down on alcohol. Is there evidence to support alcohol not being good for you during menopause? X

[Hurdity]

Taking HRT would help with your anxiety as well as hot flushes and sweats and generally improve your quality of life. By all means take the supplements but they can only go so far. Taking exercise and maintaining healthy BMI are essential for ensuring a healthier life post-menopause.

The increased risks of various cancers from too much alcohol have been documented - but not for those who enjoy a small amount - as long as withing the national recommended limits. https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/risks.php

Comparing other known risk factors for breast cancer with HRT risk can be helpful in putting risk into perspective:

more than 2-3 units of alcohol per day increases risk by 1.5x,
postmenopausal obesity by 1.6x,
late first pregnancy ( more than age 30) by 1.9x
more than 5 years of HRT by 1.35x.
a downloadable diagram showing the relative risks of breast cancer with HRT, alcohol and obesity (PDF 186Kb) updated 23 May 2016
See our blog about hormones and breast cancer.

There are other behavioural/mental strategies I am sure which could also help with your feelings of worthlessness - but this is an area I know nothing about.

All the best.

Hurdity x

[V29boo]

Thank you for the advice, I do have a very healthy diet never smoked try to stick to the recommended alcohol allowance, exercise most days and never been over weight, so I suppose I do have a good start. Will definitely do more research on the HRT though and chat with my doctor.

Thanks again x