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[lesley998]

Thanks CLKD.  I hope he's on the right road now.  He was imprisoned for beating someone up.  More than once.  It was pretty bad and has caused me a LOT of grief and stress.  He was such a lovely kid...until he reached puberty.  Those damned hormones again.   His biological father was a bit of a weirdo (we split when he was one, I remarried when he was 9) I think ex had BPD.  So coupled with my whacky genes, my son has not calmly come out of the gene pool.  Sadly he has some mental health issues of his own.  He is very aggressive and angry and flips at the slightest thing.  He was unlucky to get prison, but I think they wanted to make an example of him.  Quite rightly, theres no excuse.    To be honest, Iv'e had to distance myself from him a little as I just couldn't cope with it all.   We come from a lovely family (of course we ALL do) my caring elderly parents were horrified, my father had dementia and my sister was missing dead in a forest...and my son chose to batter hell out of someone?  Twice?   I'm usually there for people through thick and thin but this really affected me.

Anyway.  Another story.

[CLKD]

People are often angry because they are frightened or feel that their needs aren't being met.  From what I understand there is little on-going support for those once their time is served? .........

Sometimes the distance is necessary 

[Hurdity]

So sorry to hear about all your other issues lesley998 - with your own health and the problems with your son - no wonder you are finding things hard.

As already suggested you might be able to e-mail Dr Currie for £25 but I feel you do need to see someone - and especially if you decide on hormonal treatment for reproductive depression, if that's what it turns out to be. I am puzzled by the cyclic nature though - because after menopause although there is some cycling still (which I gather can continue for some years) - it is not the same as when peri-menopausal and hormones fluctuate extremely - however I am sure there is much individual variation and maybe you are one for whom this does happen and you are particularly sensitive to the changing levels?

I don't know where in UK you are but I am sure other gynaes also treat reproductive depression in the same way as John Studd - I know the preparations he uses as part of normal HRT are available on NHS throughout UK but it is the personalised treatment re high doses for reproductive depression under medical supervision that you may well benefit from. Perhaps if you phone you can find out who else practises nearer to you? There is information on specialists on the menu up top - but some of the info is out of date.

Hurdity x

[Marie62]

I've been getting these cycles too it's horrible, meno started at 50 I'm now 55 and last December had the 'madness' for 3 weeks then in March same thing happened anxiety and depression through the roof and yet again in June.
I've got a bit of the morning dreads just now so thinking I'm going to be in for another 3 weeks of misery.
I also find before I't starts my brain goes into overdrive and have loads of thoughts buzzing around. I've been on 3 types of HRT to see if it makes a difference but I still get these cycles.
Wish I could figure out what causes it pretty sure it's hormones as I've never had anything like it before and have no great stress in my life.
Doc just suggests mindfulness or relaxation exercises which I don't think will help because I can't concentrate with the buzzing in my brain!
Might try an anti D although I don't see how it can help if it's hormonal.
Thought I was the only one that suffered from this

[lesley998]

Marie62....thank you so much for your comment. It really does help to know other girls have experienced this and understand just how awful it is.  It's so hard to describe, and I know exactly what you mean about the jumble of thoughts in your head.  When I get it, it's like I just can't stand that my brain won't shut off for a while and give me some respite.  It's like being trapped in your own head...old black and white pictures of thirties 'madwoman' clutching their heads springs to mind.  I guess it is a mix of hormones and brain chemicals causing this. Prof Studd's webpage explains about reproductive depression but doesn't really go into detail apart from stating that it is probably due to lack of oestrogen, hence his method of using high doses of oestrogel  and uterogestan progesterone to oppose it.   The weird thing is that my Madness started when I was ON Premarin...I was on the high dose which is why they think I had visual migraines.  So maybe too much oestrogen can cause it too?  Or maybe it's because Premarin is synthetic and not bio identical.   I had a couple of severe anxiety episodes - utterly doom laden, terrified, couldn't go out of the house. When I stopped Premarin it receded, but has come back in cycles ever since.  And it's not monthly cycles like periods.   Like you,  I also seem to get three weeks of utter hell every three months although it does vary. I know when it starts, and I know when I'm coming out of it, it's like a light going back on and you just think oh thank god.    It's interesting that Prof Studd mentions a lot of women with it have been misdiagnosed as being bi-polar, which is also cyclic.  I've been keeping a diary - well, just a few lines a day- of how I'm feeling, I've done it since 2011 and my first peri symptoms but only recently started scoring myself every day marks out of ten on the Madness (what does that sound like!) so I can try to keep a more rigorous track of it. 

Please keep in touch...maybe we can help each other through this hell x

[Marie62]

Lesley998
Hope we can find an answer to this Madness.
I was on Elleste Duo Conti for about 4 months when it started, thinking that could be the cause I asked the Doc if I could try a lower dose HRT so was put on Kliovance but 3 months later it started again, ended up taking half a tablet and weaned myself off it only for the flushes and anxiety to start again, I'm now been on Angeliq for two weeks but still feeling anxious in the mornings.
It did cross my mind I could be bi polar but doing some research ruled it out because I don't get any manic episodes.
I've got some Valium to take when the anxiety gets really bad. I also get irritated so easily now, crowds and noise drive me mad!! Thanks to this site I don't feel so alone, friends my age have sailed through menopause or have had mild flushes, I'd love to know thier secret!
I'm trying to stay away from the Docs as during the 3 weeks of madness I was there once a week desperate for help but felt they couldn't offer me anything except anti D's and I'm very reluctant to take them,the side effects scare me too much. I'm due to go back in 6 weeks to renew my prescription of Angeliq so shall mention about the 3 month cycles and see what they  say,not expecting much though.
If I didn't have to go to work I think I'd come off HRT altogether to see if it helped but the flushes and insomnia without it would really affect my ability to do my job.
I will keep you updated and hopefully someone can offer some answers to this madness 

[lesley998]

I don't get mania either.  And I know mania/bi polar from my poor sister, who used to call me at 4am ranting on about some holiday she wanted to book, or just screeching with laughter and wanting to chat at a totally inappropriate time.    Then she would go quiet for months and not answer the phone, or the door to anyone.   Because of the fact there is no mania, part of me is relieved my issues are probably hormone related  and not psychiatric, but I can't help but worry that there is some genetic mental health issue which ties it all together...my sister actually did kill herself eventually, and that terrifies me.  I just don't know what's ahead of me, or how many more of these episodes I can take without acting on things when I am at my lowest.  Like I said earlier, I didn't get it before, but now I understand the hell she was in.  How I wish she was here now so I could get her to Prof Studd.  Anyway.  I'm waffling. Thanks for listening 😜

Oh...found this link on my many trawls through the internet. But as hurdity said above, this woman is in peri, and I haven't had a bleed for years, which makes the cyclic thing puzzling.  But, it's happening to us too, through meno or not and there's the thing...maybe just having ovaries is the problem!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/lifestyle/11698416/HRT-instead-of-anti-depressants.html

[Marie62]

Lesley 998
So sorry to hear about your sister and it must prey on your mind about mental illness being hereditary but I'm 99% sure it's all to do with hormones, it's just like a switch goes on in the brain and I can feel it happening then 3 weeks go by and I feel normal again.
The first episode last December was by far the worst, the last two have been bad but maybe because I've been through it before I've managed to somehow push through those 3 weeks knowing that's how long it will last.
I've not felt suicidal just a horrible feeling of doom and wanting to cry all the time,don't want to see or talk to anyone and anxiety on top makes it horrendous. Christmas Day was awful I sat all day staring at the tv not taking any of it in, couldn't even make a dinner so had a sandwich 
Thanks for the link.. interesting reading. I've not had a bleed for 5 years in fact don't even think I got the peri stage, periods stopped dead when I was 50 and I felt fine beforehand, never suffered from PMT or anything like that.
I can't afford to go private so will carry on taking Angeliq and see how it goes.
Hang in there,I'm sure we'll get through it eventually.

[CLKD]

Where did Lesley go 

It doesn't matter *what* causes depression and anxiety - we don't always know what causes the common cold or 'flu but treat the symptoms !!

[Lizab]

I think Lesley magically transformed into SweetPea

[CLKD]

I can't keep up 

[lesley998]

Lol!

''Tis me, Sweet Pea.  Or 'SWEAT PEE'  as I have been called in the past on here, how appropriate in menopause.   .   I realised my real name is all over t'internet in different forums, I've also been posting on Patient UK and decided to go back to my meno matters moniker.  I've a thing about being identified 😂😜🤔

Lesley

[Annie0710]

I wished I'd have used a different name

I like Jelly Tot

[lesley998]

Annie...you can change it really easily in your settings.
Just go to your Profile and change it
X

Jelly Tot is fab name!

[Annie0710]

It might confuse people but I do fancy changing, thanks