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[CaroleM]

Tomorrow is the big day, seeing my GP.

Thanks to all of you for your help and your support.  I am going in armed with a file, including my potted history; NICE guideline ng23; NICE info for the public re meno; NICE quality standard guideline, published 09/02/2017; RCOG and BMS response to NICE Clinical Guideline on the diagnosis and management of the menopause.

Not sure how she'll feel about all the paperwork, but I believe it is recommended that patients arrive with a written list of questions and symptoms to save the Dr time playing detective.  Well, I'm taking that literally

Wish me luck.  I'll report in with results tomorrow pm.

[CaroleM]

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so they say.  Looks like I prove it right.  What totally hacked me off was loosing my 3 year posting to Hong Kong.  My boxes had gone and I was due to follow on shortly.  HK was my idea of a dream posting.

Any accident where a death occurs leaves a permanent mark on you.  Anyone who says it doesn't is (a) telling porkies or (b) is telling even bigger porkies.  Twenty six years ago I was the 1st aider at a motorbike v car collision.  The 18 year old rider wasn't at fault in any way.  He died, although I spent 40+ minutes CPR awaiting the arrival of the paramedics. The longest 40 minutes of my life.  The 1st 2 guys on the scene were 2 off duty cops on their way to a bike course.  They did the traffic and let me get on with it.  Off I went to work, having given my details to the medics, and did a day's work.  The next day I was in the back garden when I heard the door bell. Standing there was Devon & Cornwall Police's version of Darth Vader, with a huge bouquet in hand.  It was one of the officers first there and he said that neither of them were sure what to do properly.  My GP insisted I had HepB jabs, just to be on the safe side. I still think about that lad.  he'd be 45 now.  Each 17th May I drive past the spot and say a quiet prayer.

Nearly 50, I'm relieved to hear that your injuries were relatively minor. I expect there are times you look around and see the scene in your head.  I hope you know that it quite normal.  In your place, I reckon I would have avoided buses for a long time afterwards.

To all of us with memories we'd rather wish we never had to begin with, stay strong, love yourself and stand proud.  It takes very special women to deal with everything life decides to throw at us.  WE ARE THOSE WOMEN

[Eejaytee]

I am 60 and have just joined this forum on the advice of my very helpful doctor. I am finding it very useful as I seemed to sail through the menopause until I hit 57 then out of nowhere I seemed to struggle with everything from thinning hair and skin breakouts to painful smears!

[CLKD]

Eejay - get treatment for Vaginal Atrophy is your Practice Nurse didn't suggest it.  As oestrogen levels drop the body may become dry: inside and out  as well as muscles becoming lax = aches and pains  .   .      make notes!

[CaroleM]

I'm reporting in!

All went semi-well this morning. I took my research with me, including CLKD's advice regarding how to approach my GP. She read what I had written, I felt that preferable to attempting to verbally explain. She was pleased I'd found MM and is aware of everything we all stand for.

After a long chat, I thought her next patient probably wondered if I'd taken up residence! We discussed my gynaecological history, my current domestic position, did I have problems with my Mum having to go into full time care, ( I don't); what was the hardest thing to do for her, (agreeing to and signing a DNR); did I feel safe at home because Stephen can get horrendously frustrated when he tries so hard to do something and finds he cannot. I have ducked a couple of times and once had to push him away and he fell. No, I'm not scared and I'm perfectly safe here. I think that when I explained that if I had cause to put anyone down, they stayed down, she realized I meant it. Stephen's stroke made Stephen react in this way, not Stephen himself.
She also asked if I had ever had thoughts of self harm or suicide at my worst time, no I never did.

There are 2 things going against me going back to HRT.

(1). The fact I had gone onto HRT aged 30 and had been on it for 20 years. That increased my risk to strokes and the like.

(2). I was adopted aged 12 weeks in 1954. With no genes history, she felt that my "being a mystery", (my description), means that extra care has to be taken when prescribing for me.

She took me step by step through all the pros and cons of everything. We came to an agreement that I try to her suggestion first. I now have 15mg of Mirtazapine for 6 weeks and then I see her again. At that time we can consider altering the dosage if needed. I know they are an antidepressant, however they are not addictive. She wants to get my sleep problems sorted first. If, at the end of 18 weeks I still want to go back onto HRT she will prescribe it, but against her better judgement.

Wait for ongoing episodes. I know that I cannot afford to risk a stroke or DVT, too many people need me to be on the ball, Stephen, my Mum, both Stephen's parents. Looks like I have a great deal of thinking to do. I'd really like to return to HRT, but maybe my history means that the risks might be too high.

Wish me luck!!!

[babyjane]

I do wish you a lot of luck and I agree with a comment CLKD made somewhere that sometimes it is best to address the psychological issues and get them stable first before approaching the HRT minefield, especially if it is not a straightforward case, like yours, instead of jumping straight in with HRT which may, or may not, be right for the patient at that time. 

[CaroleM]

Babyjane, thank you for your understanding.

[CLKD]

RESULT!  In the meantime, does Stephen get support from any of the UK Stroke Charities where you could ask for further advice, i.e. is there a scan which can tell if you are more likely to be at risk?   Did your GP back up this suggestion? also, HRT issues have been up-dated in recent years. 

OK it's an Anti-depressant but hey!  if it works .........

How do you feel right now?  Listened to?  Regardless of being adopted/not, I have no idea as to my medical background as my Grannies didn't talk about menopause, nor did my Mum's sister or Mum herself - she's 90 now and it's long gone by her.  My sister replied quite nastily when I enquired "I'm through all that" ......... so although it might be a valid point, I think that it is worth remembering that not everyone has a medical history to refer to.

Let us know how you get on!

[CaroleM]

I've managed to get a couple of hours more sleep for the past 2 nights. That might be down to being totally exhausted and my body just decided that 1 hour of sleep per night could have me climbing the walls, (if only I had the strength right now😸)

I'll admit the thought of AD's concerned me. I did have a breakdown several years ago and was given Prozac. The side effects were terrifying. Horrendous nightmares, leaving me screaming, shaking, crying and feeling totally terrified. As Stephen would tell you, I don't scare easily. My. GP knew that and took me off them at once. The replacement was OK. She did tell me that Prozac worked well with most people; for those it didn't , it didn't quite spectacularly. I recovered and have endured nothing like it since. She did smile at my answer to feeling safe at home, if I need to put someone down - they stay down. She believed me.

Dr Hall is well versed in MM and I felt safe discussing everything. Poor Stephen was bemused when I told him what we'd discussed. He was upset to think that anyone would think I was unsafe with him. I am perfectly safe.

[CaroleM]

CLDK, Stephen bravely volunteered for a course of anger management. He was the only one that course who wasn't sent there by the Courts for rehabilitation of one sort or another. He still remembers what to do and encouragement will cope to with try them.

He finds outside help in any way more than he can manage. He gets news etc from the Stroke Association via their magazine and news letters. He went to a couple of meetings but wasn't comfortable. Part of the time saw friends, relations, spouses' and carers excluded and that really finished him. I understand that it was so that attendees could be open, without any input from 'outsiders'. Stephen doesn't say much at the best of times, even prior to his stroke. So shut out the one person upon whom he depends and he shuts down.

[Taz2]

Hi Carole - I was interested to read this part of your post

"There are 2 things going against me going back to HRT.

(1). The fact I had gone onto HRT aged 30 and had been on it for 20 years. That increased my risk to strokes and the like."

I'm sure that current research indicates that HRT before the age of 50 doesn't count risk-wise, as you were merely replacing what your body should have made naturally, so this may not preclude you from restarting HRT if you need it?

Taz x 

[CaroleM]

Good evening Taz2,

I honestly think that being adopted in 1954 and coming with no genetic family history that is a red flag in my case.

[CLKD]

How would a lady with learning difficulties be treated if she can't remember her medical history?  I think using the 'adopted' card is wrong. 

[Taz2]

Good evening Taz2,

I honestly think that being adopted in 1954 and coming with no genetic family history that is a red flag in my case.

I can see that no family history might affect it but going onto HRT at the age of 30 up to normal meno age won't count against you being prescribed it now. Those years are not taken into consideration whether you have family history or not.

Taz x

[Eviepf]

Another 'adoptee at birth' here and have been reading the previous posts with interest. I was recently prescribed HRT by a gynae and did worry slightly about the fact that I could give no medical history.  I hope the fact that adoption is managed differently these days means that adopted people are no longer in quite such an 'adrift' situation, although of course they still won't know about any conditions their mother developed in her later years, for example.

I suppose my view in the past has always been mainly of the slightly fatalistic, let's just give the medication a go, variety. No doctor has ever raised my lack of medical history as a concern when prescribing anything - I wonder if they should have, and what official guidelines are? It would be a shame if people with no known history were to be denied helpful medicines just on that basis, really. As CLKD suggests, adopted people can't be the only ones in that situation.