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[Sooby]

At the start of my peri meno and throughout I felt out of sorts.

  I experienced moods or states of mind that wernt "Me". Estrogen made me feel passive and occasionally indifferent. Progestrone made me feel emotional and irrational.

 Now Im not taking any HRT and feel stable but occasionally fiery when frustrated or feel like I need to stick up for myself. I dont feel overly emotional or unstable. I feel cross but justified. 

 I think that I am further on in my meno journey and that this me is the real "me". Admittedly a "me " with less estrogen who occasionally gets @rsey but definitely me.

OH and the clinic think I should try the Mirena to avoid what they refer to as " mood swings". I dont think I have "mood swings". I think sitting back and sucking up whatever comes my way makes me feel low and that taking action or refusing to put up with something feels positive and affirming. Perhaps they see something I dont? Perhaps I'm not as compliant as the pre perimeno me and I should take the drugs and they recommend? 

What about when Meno is over? Do we keep taking the pills so we can stay "nice"?

Is this musing striking a chord with anyone or am I rambling to myself? 

[CLKD]

You ramble away!  Many ladies find that they lose themselves ...... it's The Change.  I think as I have got older I take less crap from people!  I have dropped those who don't give me what I need in my Life and those that don't give me space when I have panic attacks etc..  Bolshie? moi? 

HORMONES!  I am sure that ladies who have tried the 'mirena' will be along or maybe do a search on here?

[dazned]

If you don't want to use hrt and you feel reasonably well ,then don't ! It's your body and there's nothing to say you have to.

[babyjane]

hear hear, no one needs to feel pressured to do anything they don't want to do.  We are all individual and our meno journeys are individual too.  there is no 'one size fits all'.  I chucked my HRT away 14 years ago and have done ok without and I won't be told I have let myself down in any way.  this is me now and that is how it is going to stay. 

[Wrensong]

This is a really interesting question, Sooby and the other ladies' answers are along the lines of what I feel.  Whilst I would always recommend to someone who is desperately trying to control SEVERE meno symptoms to consider HRT, by consider it I simply mean take time to learn about it, weigh up the benefits & risks and don't be rushed or pressured into the choice by anyone.  You have already been there and know how HRT made you feel.  I sense that you are happy with who you are now and THIS is surely the most important thing.  It may be that you and those around you just need a little more time to see what is the new normal, but I would not bend to accommodate others' wishes if you yourself are content without HRT. 

Though it seems to help many ladies, HRT is not a cure-all for everyone and for many it seems to be about weighing up whether or not the side effects are tolerable for the benefits it brings.  Starting HRT was a very difficult decision for me and whilst I am better on it than without, it has not resolved all my symptoms.  If I felt I could get by without it, I would, but having taken the decision to start I want to give it a reasonable trial for now and hope I will find a better fit that will enable me to gain better quality of life for the future.  If so, I aim to stay on it as long as possible, but this is because symptoms went on so long before I started it that it seemed my body was NEVER going to be able to manage without it.  Since starting HRT I have also been diagnosed with osteopenia, so this makes it sensible to continue if I can. 

Babyjane & I both have thyroid conditions and I respect her view and think she was very wise to grit her teeth and push through without HRT, as it can be the very devil to juggle with other interacting meds & managing a thyroid condition can be hard enough in itself.  I would never have started HRT, with a family history of breast cancer & other medical reasons not to, had I not been absolutely desperate, after many years of extreme symptoms (on top of chronic pain) that had virtually wrecked my life.

In your shoes, I think I would stand your ground - menopause can make us so unsure of so many things, but given time you should know whether or not you have made the right decision and if not too old, can perhaps give HRT another go, should YOU decide you might be better with it than without.  It is your life and no-one else has the right to make this important decision for you.   

[babyjane]

To answer your question sooby

Do any of you like the post meno version of yourself more than the pre meno you?

For me the menopause has been a journey of self discovery about me now that I am no longer responsible for raising and guiding children who are now grown with families of their own.  It has been a huge learning curve but I feel I know myself better and yes, I like myself more that I used to.  A traumatic and abusive childhood made me a sad, lonely scared child and an insecure young adult.  My role as mother gave me an identity but it was only when I had my life to myself that I began, with help, to investigate who I am.  I am still learning but there is a person under all the c*** who I rather like 

[Wrensong]

Babyjane, after logging off, I realised it wasn't really my place to refer to your thyroid condition as well as mine in this thread, in stating my respect for your decision to avoid HRT compared with mine, taken in a similar position to yourself medically speaking.  As we have both often referred to our thyroid disorders in other threads, & have made no secret of this, I'm afraid I mentioned it without thinking.  I'm sorry if I spoke out of turn here. 

[dazned]

I personally don't think that after menopause,for want of a better phrase !!!! the "old you " returns. I try to think of it as evolving, " change "      Let's face it we aren't going to be exactly how we were say 20 years ago. I wouldn't say that I'm more irrate, I'm just not a people pleaser anymore, if I don't like something I say so,if I don't want to do something then I don't.

[babyjane]

Thank you wrensong, I was a little taken aback.  We are not the only thyroid patients on the forum and we must be careful not to put words into each others mouths. .

dazned, the bane of my life is people pleasing.  It is a learned behaviour in my case and a particularly stubborn one to eradicate.

[CLKD]

It's The Change. - We need to accept The Change as it arrives - I can't remember the changes I went through at Puberty but I'm sure that they brought their own problems until my periods evened out, then I had DREADFUL pain  .  Some ladies find that keeping a food/mood/symptom diary useful.


Yep, I feel bolshie!!!!  .  In fact I got annoyed recently and a man I don't know well stepped back    ...... although he eventually agreed with my comments.

B4 each period I would have dreadful temper tantrums - things that didn't matter for weeks would suddenly take on gigantic proportions and 'don't mess with me!' set in.  People knew to stand well back  and Himself would tell me to 'look at the calendar, you're irritable'.  Once the bleed started my temper would ease.  I've always been feisty though.  Even now I will mutter at other drivers, the TV, things I have no control over 

Wonder what we did B4 the Bolshervicks [sp]   

Do I like me  ........ I think I do.  Mostly. 

[dazned]

Babyjane if your people pleasing is a learnt trait then you can perhaps now learn to not be a people pleaser anymore !

I think that if I have to kowtow to people then they are not really worth having in ones life. We deserve better.   

[CLKD]

Saying 'no' really does become easier - I am becoming an expert ;-).  Instead of agreeing to helping out I ask people to what until I have checked on our calendar so that I don't over book ........ and I won't take anything on unless they have a back up in case panic over takes me!

[CLKD]

  ......

Probably the victim  - I am never mean or un-chariable ;-).  It's about caring for me first.  I have learned never to agree to anything in the evenings because I feel so much better and less anxious but by morning    .  No one relies on me saying 'yes' or 'no' ...... but it is nice to be asked! and certainly done on the hop is better for me as it doesn't give my gut the chance to tighten up.   There are certain people I don't mind helping out as long as they have a back-up in case anxiety over-takes me.  I don't explain why, simply insist on the back-up, otherwise they have to find someone else. 

I ditched those who drained me of feelings etc.. 

[babyjane]

take babysitting for example, hubby is always keen to do it when asked but if I decline and he goes by himself then I feel like the mean old mummy/granny who doesn't want to see her grandchildren.  So I do it and pay the price 

[dazned]

Selective, yes that's a very good word for it.

If you don't look after yourself and make sure that you are in the best place possible then how can be in any shape to assist others,that's how I view it