Hello ladies!
After a long time of searching for other distressed souls, I have stumbled upon this forum, read through it a bit and finally decided to share my chapter of this unfortunate, unbearable menopause story.
I've come from around the world, where I'm not really in a good position to get proper advice and/or treatment from doctors (doesn't matter what they cure...).
My menopause... I can't really say when it started. When I was 42, I lost a pregnancy due to an inoperable tumour in my uterus, which has been subsequently removed, my ovaries left intact (as if.) I was 41, my doctor didn't even think of protecting me by prescribing anything. My tolerance to warm/hot weather is generally very low and I felt that very summer that it is going to be very hard. However, due to other health problems, more "mechanical" in nature, I coped without asking for help. (I had a terrible car accident in 2002 where I'm left disabled in my right arm - 20% ability to move, more than a dozen operations, always a plate and screws in it, pains, sleepless nights, pain, sleepless nights...) so menopause wasn't exactly my primary problem.
However, in January 2015, during one night (as I am sleeping very poorly), I felt a sudden rush of heat and sweat covered me in milliseconds. As I explained, I really cannot stand the heat of any kind, from any source, which makes it even worse. That same night, January 17th, I also felt a terrible pain in my left arm (the one that is totally spent due to the inability of the right one), with joint/muscle/bone pain. Having lived with various pains for so many years, I didn't pay much attention (I choose not to...), but the situation only got worse. In 6 months, I gained almost 10 kilograms, got diagnosed with severe epicondylitis in my only operational arm, the flushes became unbearable. I don't even say "night" and "day" because there seem not to be the end once they start - up to 20 during the day, about 10 during the night.
I have tried EVERY possible herb (pill, oil, tincture, capsule, ointment) available to me, I almost got broke. Natural remedies ALL but helped - the situation kept getting worse. In order to get toxins out of my system, I started the lemon cleanse for 15 days. And I learned to be very persistent long time ago. Results? Nothing, except dizziness and stomach pains. After that, I've gone vegetarian for a year (which really isn't for me, but I just had to try, we listen to everything when we're in pain... even things we judge...), that also didn't work for me and I was persistent... not a kilo down, nothing that would ease
-flushes
-heart palpitations (terrifying... the heart is healthy...)
-TOTAL lack of desire for sex, but I mean, total
-joint pains
-weight gain
-insomnia
-thyroid problems that arose again after many years
-inexplicable sorrow, tears
-night terrors (if I sleep)
-additional gall bladder operation (provoked by menopause, doctors tell me...)
-should I really list more?
Three months ago I finally went to my doctor who did the uterine surgery and he prescribed Angeliq pills without having done any previous hormonal tests. OK, I am not afraid of it, really I am not but the manufacturer page says it is not for women without a uterus. He persists it has nothing to do with it, and that I take them - they will be very good. So I did. I cannot say they don't help. I still have more flushes day/night than most women without any kind of HRT, which is disappointing in itself... I still have most syndromes (all of them, actually), not better, not worse. I asked for different pills and he said there are no choices for me without the uterus. I mean, do I really have to take hormones for pushing the uterus to work, and I don't have it? I don't think so...
As for sleep, my room and my bed are always cold, the window opened through the year, my clothes layered my entire life since I am intolerant to heat. Fans everywhere. Cold compresses always in the deep freeze. Meals always carefully prepared. Everything you may think of - it is, and I did it all. By the book. And nothing helped. I am still a human ruin. I cannot work out properly as I did, because the situation with my arms.
When I hear someone lecturing about menopause being merely "in the head", I would shot myself in the leg.
Being 20% sucks, and whoever says otherwise, is a liar.
If I hear one more time the platitude "meet your new, better self", I will do something inadmissible.
I want my old self, the one I am, have always been and try to always be.
Who in their right minds would want to "meet their other selves" in 50-ies? Change in 50-ies? Especially when most of us already found our rhythm, with life we know, situations we can handle, jobs we are used to... Change?
Please, tell me, there's one of you who can relate. Save me from this hell. And I apologise for the length...
